6 hr drive, 31 weeks pregnant

ambrlynn8 · July 2012

Background: Had one full term pregnancy, and had to be induced. Now, started having labor signs at 18 weeks, contracting, dilating, effacing. No baby born. Cervix back to good length (thicker), contractions sometimes.

At this point in my first pregnancy I drove 6+ hours for a trip, and thought nothing of it. I didn't discuss it with my doctor or anything. Which was probably not a good idea looking back, but that's the truth.

Now, I'm freaked to go anywhere, but my BIL finally set a date to tie the knot after a 3 year engagement. The problem? They live here, but are having their wedding in Vegas which is about a 6 hour drive. I was trying to look up all of the hospitals between here and there, and I have found 3 that take my insurance. That freaks me out. BIL obviously asked DH to be a groomsman.

Bottom line: I feel like a real *** if we don't go. I feel like a bigger *** if I ask DH to stay home because I could go into labor.

They're going to run the fetal fibronectin test every 2 weeks at 24/25 weeks to check if I'll go into labor within 2 weeks. DH thinks if this is negative before the wedding that week, we can go, because the doctor said, "if it's negative, [ I ] could contract my brains out, and not worry." Good idea or bad? What would you do?

minervacullen · July 2012

hmmm, this is tough. I think DH has a good idea, but you shouldn't have to be too afraid to go. Have you talked to your BIL and his fiance about your situation? That way if it does come down to you needing to stay home, they would, hopefully, understand. Or maybe even if you are still anxious with a negative test have DH go and you stay home. I know that would totally suck, but if you know you won't go into labor with normal every day activities, then that might be what would work. If you feel safe going, then go. If it comes back positive, maybe he can still go and if you start to have labor signs he can immediately leave? I know with DS from the time my water broke till delivery it was 21 or 22 hours. That was even with pitocin after hour 16. Talk to your OB as well, get his input. I would think BIL and soon to be SIL would understand. If OB thinks you won't go into labor, then I'd say go. Though I wouldn't do any dancing, I was dancing at a wedding when my water broke

I hope I helped a little. Good luck!

ambrlynn8 · July 2012

minervacullen:
hmmm, this is tough. I think DH has a good idea, but you shouldn't have to be too afraid to go. Have you talked to your BIL and his fiance about your situation? That way if it does come down to you needing to stay home, they would, hopefully, understand. Or maybe even if you are still anxious with a negative test have DH go and you stay home. I know that would totally suck, but if you know you won't go into labor with normal every day activities, then that might be what would work. If you feel safe going, then go. If it comes back positive, maybe he can still go and if you start to have labor signs he can immediately leave? I know with DS from the time my water broke till delivery it was 21 or 22 hours. That was even with pitocin after hour 16. Talk to your OB as well, get his input. I would think BIL and soon to be SIL would understand. If OB thinks you won't go into labor, then I'd say go. Though I wouldn't do any dancing, I was dancing at a wedding when my water broke I hope I helped a little. Good luck!

I thought about talking to them about it, but I feel like they might not understand. I would think MIL would have told them what was going on, we had already mentioned before that if they had it around then we probably wouldn't be able to go to MIL. If I had someone here to be here to take me to the hospital and such, I would feel loads better, but what little family we have here, BIL, future SIL, DH's grandma, will obviously be at the wedding. I suppose I will discuss with the OB further.

It took 10 hours for my son to be born. 3 hours of pushing. So, being a 6 hour drive away is a little scary.

Regarding the dancing: I suppose I should stop dancing around my living room, then. lol!

ilenegrace · July 2012

I would leave the decision up to my dr. If they give you the ok then it should be fine. I was not allowed to drive more than 3 hrs that late with DS.

Also can you not fly there? Its like a 2 hour flight max from where you are right?

Rei Dunn · July 2012

Yikes. I feel you. I drive four hours twice a week for work and it's NOT GOOD. I now wake up at 3am to drive there before traffic and then sleep in my car once I'm there to avoid the stopping and starting of traffic that makes me SO SICK and dehydrated that I had to go to the hospital.

May I recommend.... drink gatorade, bring easy-on-you-tummy snacks like bananas and crackers, if you have any broth bring that to drink, and NO TRAFFIC!

Also, I have to plan my pee breaks all along the way!

ambrlynn8 · July 2012

That weekend is a holiday weekend. That was my MIL's idea... So, it's like $600-700 for the three of us to fly, plus hotel fees. It's much cheaper to drive, and I'm currently only working part time because of the PTL issues I've been having. So there isn't much extra money right now, besides our baby savings which is needed.

JessAnnJ · July 2012

I don't think you should feel the need to go out of guilt. If you were to go into labor you are the one that would have to deal with it, not BIL. They should understand but if they don't they will get over it. If they just picked the date then they knew that you were pregnant at the time and should have anticipated this as a possibility. From your post it sounds like going will have you really worried and stressed and it just doesn't seem worth it.