As many of you know, we got the news of our failed first IVF yesterday. Needless to say, I'm still reeling from it -- and really not in the best shape emotionally. I was able to take today off from work, which helped -- but I don't have the luxury of doing that too many more times. (We're a single-income family at the moment; and we also need to start saving more money if we're going to move forward with another cycle of treatment.)
Here's the other piece of my "problem": I'm the children's ministry coordinator at my church, so working means being surrounded by little ones aged preschool all the way up to 5th grade. I LOVE the kids, but right now, they'd be a painful reminder of what I lost. But requesting time off means I'd potentially have to explain the reason for my absence to others (kids, parents, etc...) and I really don't want to share our IF struggles with everyone.
So what would you guys do? Lose out on some $$$ to preserve your sanity, or tough it out to maintain your privacy? I'd love to hear your input. Thanks!
Re: What would you do? (A little long, sorry.)
Obviously, I can only speak for myself, but I don't think that taking time from work will make you feel any better about your situation, just worse.
I also work with kids and, frankly, I don't really think about it in relation to my IF issues very often. Now that I am home for the summer, I find that IF actually hurts more. I find myself spending all this free time thinking about what I would be doing with my children and fixating on the unfairness of it all. When I am at work, I am busily working at a job of which I am very proud.
Also, your job is your financial means to treatment, so you may really regret that decision in the future. IMO, sitting at home just makes IF hurt more, not less.
(((hugs)))
TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
IVF Consultation, More Testing
Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
EDD: May 16, 2013
Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
Finally released from RE at 13w
~~ My IF Blog ~~
This! You obviously need to grieve, but I don't think taking time away from your job will help. You are going to encounter children everywhere and it's going to be painful sometimes, but unless you have a backup job available, I think you should confront the situations and your emotions head on.
Good luck in making your decision!
I completely understand where you are coming from. I have been avoiding kids for a year now. The last time I tried to attend a 3 year old's birthday party - I spent half the day crying in the car, and I am a fairly strong person.
I personally think your #1 priority should be yourself and how you feel. This process is hard enough on you emotionally and physically - there is no reason to make it worse unless the $$ is essential.
Also, in regards to the privacy - I know most women are very private about their infertility experiences. I tend to be a bit of the opposite. I was very private through Clomid and my first IVF cycle, but now I talk about it a bit more freely and find it quite theraputic. I feel good educating others on the infertility treatment process. Most people have no clue. I have also started volunteering for a couple of infertility organizations which has helped me through this process as well.
Good luck!
Married June 2007, TTC since May 2010. Me=40, age-related infertility, DOR, low prog, low AMH. DH=37,low morph.
IUI#1 (Dec. 2011)=BFN, IUI#2=unexpected early O=TI=BFN. Official IUI#2=BFN.
IUI#3=3/17/12=BFN.
Stims for IVF#1 started 7/6/12. ER done 7/15/12. ICSI and AH. Transferred 2 embies 7/17/12. Stick little ones, stick! Beta 7/30/12=BFN HcG less than 2.
Surprise BFP while deciding next steps! EDD: 5/10/13
April 2013 DE IVF= BFN
September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...
October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C