PSA: Please don't helicopter your children...
MarisaKathleen
member
No question here, just wanted to share my most recent conversation with you...
I just had a Mom call me on behalf of her daughter, who is one of my students. The Mom informed me that her daughter had to drop her summer Microbiology class because the instructor was "mean." She then proceeded to go into a speech about how I was an ineffective advisor because her daughter didn't know about clinical requirements, as well as when the next dates for the NLN exam were. I very calmly explained that the daughter and I have spoken several times (like last Thursday for example) and that based on the notes that I have that she was more than aware of all of these things. The Mom apologized and seemed surprised that her daughter wouldn't be telling her the whole story and then wanted information about switching out of nursing because it's just "too hard" for her daughter.
What exactly do you gain by calling your child's college academic advisor to complain? If your kid goes for a job interview, are you going to call and follow up on their behalf? I just cannot understand this method of parenting. All I can think of is that there's going to be a whole bunch of 40 year olds living in their parents basement because everything has been done for them!
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Re: PSA: Please don't helicopter your children...
Yes I was seeing that too, parents who volunteer in their children's class room 2-3x a week until they go to HS, its cray cray, like i understand doing it until maybe 3rd grade then just helping with parties but 2-3x a week.. My mom was lucky to send in bday treats some years.
I also see it when they graduate HS, try to go to college then end up at the local community college because they could not cut it being away from M&D at college.
And this is a college student
Wow, just wow.
Emilia Antoinette
10.03.12 at 41w5d
They actually did a story on NPR recently that talked about this. A lot of it had to do with parents calling employers about their children's applications and resumes or even calling to ask why their child didn't get the job. These are grown-a$$ people with college degrees too, not teeny-boppers trying to get a job at the mall.
I work in HR and we have had a few parents call and ask if we received their kids resume. We just say "I'm sorry but our candidates information is confidential. If 'blah-blah' would like to know that status of his/her application they can call us anytime."
Calling to give a reference for your child pretty much guarantees that they will not be considered.
Just a random comment to chime in, I can pinpoint exactly who has lived with their parents till they were 24 or round about that age (exclusions apply)....they biitch and whine and biitch and whine over EVERY little thing. And they are incredibly indirect. Independence people....try it! Works wonders. Thats my mini-vent, sorry. I may have stumbled across some long term co-dependent people lately IRL.
FWIW, my mom would NEVER call my college adviser!
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
Believe it or not, yes to the bolded. I am a corporate recruiter and have had more than one parent call me because their child did not get a job. And by child, I mean someone who has already graduated from college, I only recruit for positions that are above entry level. Not sure why parents or their children think this is a good idea, it does not change my mind about hiring their child and makes them look really bad. In fact, when these children have applied again at a later time I remember them and that is not a good thing.
I can't believe I missed that--I'm sure it was an interesting discussion!! I just find the whole thing insane. Sure, my Mom came on a field trip here and there when I was in school, and always remembered to send treats to stuff, but it embarrassed me when I was in high school and she'd call and check in with the parents of the kid whose house I said I was going to. If she would have called anyone when I was in college, or worse, called an employer?! Gawd! The first salon I worked at my Mom was a client at--that was bad enough!
Here's the other thing--If everyone I know IRL "seems" to be normal and finds this behavior nutty, where are all these crazy mom's lurking? Are people just ashamed to admit it, or do they really not think they're being insane?
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
I went to a small university and was in the smallest program and for 3 years had the same 16-17 people in most of my classes. We made cupcakes/cake for EVERYTHING. Birthdays, big exams, or just because. Someone made cream-cheese-pound-cake-cupcakes once. I will never forget those.
When I was teaching fifth grade, parents used to ask for me to email the homework every day (um, no, your 11 year old is capable of writing it down especially since there is a set time to do so) and one would always try to pop in to get book report forms (um, no, your child can get them herself during the six hours a day we spend together).
My kids were so sad to hear that the birthday chair tradition was pretty much only at our school. In high school, you are probably not going to have all your friends leap around your chair during a silly song.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Aside from looking at my grades when they came in the mail, my mom had nothing to do with my schooling past 2rd grade. I went away to college and my parents came up to see me one time (for 2 hours) in 4 years. They had to ask what degree I graduated with the day of the ceremony.
My little sister however (the 4th child, 9 years younger than me)......... mom does everything for her. My sister can't even call to make her own dental appointments. She is 21. I don't get it.... both of them shock me.
To top off the hilarity, I looked this girl up on FB because I haven't ever met with her in person. Her profile pic is one of her flipping off the camera. She also recently "liked" the page 'bit%hes with tattoos.'
How much you wanna bet her Mom hasn't seen it.....
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Me too! Except I was thinking about when you grab a kids wrist and ankle then spin in a circle with them....
BUT, that Mom needs to cut the cord with her kid and let her become a grownup...sheesh!
Katherine Quinn | 9.16.2012 | 38w4d
Ryan Lanman | 9.12.2014 | 40w
2 Losses | 10/2010 @ 5w | 9/2013 @ 10w4d
Little Sprout Blog
I work at a university for a program with students with Autism. The parents call the professors for things and are ALL up in their business. We've gotten calls that this parent hasn't talked to their student today and she was just worried...yea, he probably doesn't want to talk to you.
But it's amazing how much these parents are clueless. They call us for EVERYTHING. I need to enroll my kid in the university, ok you should probably call the admissions office. Financial aid, taking their kid random places, oh yes, we're expected to do it all. It doesn't help our director just says fine and we have to do all this extra work because the parents can't figure it out on their own.
I'm a GM of a large retail corporation and I could tell a ton of stories! One of my favs is about a kid who I hired simply b/c his older brother worked for me for a couple years and was great. His little brother...OH not so much. I actually had to put him into a lower position b/c he couldn't handle the one I originally put him in. Totally my fault b/c I assumed he could handle it.
So, I had met the mom several times over the years and after the kid had worked for me for about a year, he ran into some school issues. Mom came in to talk to me about taking him off the schedule for a few weeks. I feel if you're over 18, I don't need to talk to mommy or daddy. She kept going on and on. This is after I'd probably taken about 2-3 phone calls from her as well. I finally asked her if he was going away to college in the fall (answer was yes), I asked if she was planning on packing herself in his suitcase and going w/ him. I got an odd look from her to which I replied 'you really need to cut the cord'
BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
missing my baby everyday
BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d