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Single Parents
OMG Emergency-Court order
Excuse typos I am freaking out and typing super fast. My Ex basically "kidnapped" our kids last wednesday coming in with his HUGE famly including hisdad who is easily 300 pounds. They started loading the kids up in their car seats and getting ready to go., I was totally floored b.c I had told H he could have them on Thursday and thru the weekend and then bring back on Sunday night.
He said that doesn't work from now on its 50/50 custody. I said Ummm no you have never even had them more than 2 days except one time and that was only cayuse your mom watached them. So he says I will bring them back Friday evening. Friday even comes and goes and nothing. No call no text, nothing. I drive by his moms, dads, and his house. Nothing. Finally at 11 he calls me and says were going out of town this wknd sorry. I will give the kids back on Sunday ngt. I am FREAKING out by this time. my son has never ever been away from me for more than 1ngt and that didnt go well. I told him no way, I called the cops and they told me SORRY NOTHING WE CAN DO HE IS THEIR DAD.
So I am crying hysterically and then he says ok I will bring them back sun night. Oh you guessed it, no show on Sunday, Finally he calls and sayd someone will bring them to you on Monday AM at 10 am. Instead at 10 am I get a call thtat I have to go to court for an emergency custody hearing as I am not safe as a parent? Umm yeah ok.
I have 90 percent custody of these kids, they are way ahead in almost everything, I take them to ALL doctors appts, I was there all nght long the ngt my son was in the hospital for flu and he didn;t even show up. Was fishing and didn't want to leave then got home and was too tired. He is almost always 3 -4 wks behind on child support. I have the kids in counseling and they asked him to come, nope he sure didn't come.
What am I supposed to do? what if they award him temp custody until we go to court? And the worst part was I had a lawyer and she sucked so Iet her go and now I have no lawyer. PLEASEHELP ME
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Re: OMG Emergency-Court order
How do I get a lawyer by 8 am tomorrow am. Ive been calling around all day. Should I ask the judge for a delay in the hearing until I get a laqyer.
I am so freaking out. I have NEVER been away from my kids for more than a couple days. ExH almost never takes care of them and he is just a selfish prick when it comes to them. He hadnt; seem them in 21 days and in that 21 days he finally saw them he dropped them off at his sisters cause he "needs me time too" umm yeah ok.
Now I am terrified that I will not get them back tomorrow. Thats the scary thing in the state of california bc the cops will do nothing yo hel[ uyil you have a formal custody agreement and that can take up to year. I am dying here. Dying. I had to take a xanax bc I was so frealed out I literally couldnt breathe.
In most states it wouldn't have mattered because a father has the same rights to the kids as the mother if there is no custody order in place and he is on the birth certificate.
Actually, this isn't necessarily true. It really depends on what County you're in as well as what Judge you're in front of. Orange County is very pro Mom, but there is one particular Judge that is pro Dad.
Ask for a continuance while you seek representation. Demand that the children be returned to you per the status quo as to avoid further disruption in their lives. Depending on how busy the Court is, you might only get a 2 week continuance so you really need to hurry up and find a lawyer.
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Yup Orange County is very Pro-Mom, but sometimes that's not a good thing. There have been a lot of cases here where moms kept custody of kids and then CPS had to step in and remove the children. Some of the Judges have been getting in trouble for disregarding paperwork filed by Dads where instances of abuse and neglect were heavily documented. The other downside is Orange County is a non-recommendation County. Meaning, mediators can't make recommendations to the Court regarding custody and visitation if the parents can't agree. I think in all of Southern California, San Bernardino County is actually the most fair and actually interviews the children. Plus, SB County does allow for mediator recommendation so there actually is an unbiased 3rd party that looks out for the children involved.
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Would you mind telling me which one is pro-dad. I'm not a single mom, but my sister is. She currently has full custody (legal and physical) but there's always the "threat."
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
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3 babies waiting on ice
Judge Pham. Actually, Pham is one of the few "fair" Judges in OC. If your sister's case has already been heard and there's a CO in place, she needn't worry. It's very unlikely her matter will get transferred to a different Judge.
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San Bernardino County took my niece from my sister after my nephew died. I realize they had to investigate his death, but automatically taking my sister's other child, without cause, seemed a little extreme. His death was later ruled SIDS.
Bexar (bear) County where I live is the same way. But, we're in Texas, and that's to be expected.
Any updates on this?
Given she asked about dating a few posts above and said she has the kids five days a week...maybe it all blew over?
Whew sorry I didn't post the update earlier ladies.
It went very very well for me! I went in all by myself and his whole family was there and had hired the most expensive attorney in this area. They handed me the typed out info that showed all the "reasons" I shouldn't have the kids. About 90 percent was not true.
While we waited to be seen I watched the judge closely. I watched what made her angry, what she responded to and what she seemed to think about things. I tried to tailor my behavior along those lines.
He said I was on drugs and so incoherent I could not take care of the kids. This is b.c i had a script for xanax and one for percocet, both from doctors, when I had a brain tumor. I still have the brain tumor and I almost never take the meds. I have the same script from 4 months ago that should have only lasted 30 days. So when she asked if I would do a drug test I said no problem and requested he do one as well.
HE FAILED THE DRUG TEST AND I PASSED! then he was trying to show the judge things he had taken on his phone like videos that showed nothing at all and were 2 yrs old. the judge yelled at him.
So it ended up I get the kids 70 percent of the time and he gets them 30. I made them put in the order that he could NOT come to my house and we have to exchange the kids at McDonalds. He also forfeits his visit if he is more than 30 mins late, as he was often 4 to 5 hours late.
Some things that helped me for anyone going through this;
I didn't bash him at all-stuck to facts and anything that was accused of ME
I kept a notebook that showed every night Ihad the kids, everytime he brought theym back late of didn't show up, everytime I called to have him take them and he didn't.
I had all the documents that showed I had them in counseling, I was the only one taking them to the doctor, I wrote down exactly what their schedule was and other details of their life.
So that is what happened. Now the next battle is child support. Oh he is SOOO mad at me. the next morning he sent me pornographic pics of him with his new girlfriend and said you should be so jealous and she is so much hotter than you! I just laughed. I feel sorry for any woman who is his girlfriend.
I also meant to ask how he failed the drug test and still gets unsupervised contact? It might just be me but I'd be pretty upset about the failed drug test