Intro...(sorry a little long)

Hey all, as with most of us here, I never wanted to have to become part of this board, but I have been lurking and seeing how supportive everyone is of each other has made me want to intro and try to keep up with everyone and be supportive as well.

We had our first BFP ever on 6/1 after trying for over a year.  To say we were overly excited is an understatement.  Since we had just begun seeing an RE, we had a u/s at 6w2d, and everything was just perfect, measurements, a strong heartbeat, etc (RE even told us, risk of miscarriage is less than 10%!).  So we told our immediate family and couldn't wait to watch our little embryo grow.  At 8w2d we had our second u/s which we thought went well, we saw an even stronger heartbeat and was measuring a few days ahead, what could be better.  Then we met with our Dr afterwards and they let us know that the gestational sac was measuring 2 weeks behind the baby, so if that didn't catch up basically the baby wouldn't be able to grow and we would miscarry.  To add insult to injury, there was also a hematoma, the chorionic bump variety which after many hours of googling was pretty rare, and grim as well. 

So needless to say, at our 10w2d appt, we were hoping for that slim chance that things had corrected themselves, but we were met with no heartbeat, and learned the baby had stopped growing shortly after our previous appointment.  

The Dr suggested a D&E because she thought miscarrying naturally would be painful and could cause heavy bleeding and we'd have no idea when it would happen, so we had a D&E on 7/20.  That was the worst experience of my life.  I was not put under, and it seems to me that the drugs they did give me did not affect me the way they would have needed.  I remember every minute of it and every pain, it was horrible.

I had my follow up today and everything looks good, so I am just waiting on AF so we can start trying again and hopefully have a better outcome next time.  Emotionally I feel very up and down, some days are better than others, and I find that keeping myself busy has been working best (which has been easy since we have had 4 of our nieces and nephews, their parents and 2 dogs staying at our house since last week)! 

I hope I can be helpful to those of you here and those that will unfortunately make their way here looking for support.