Unwanted Baby Gear?
Good morning ladies!
OK, so this may sound strange or like I'm being ungrateful?
Seems like the closer we get to LO's arrival, the more friends, family & neighbors are trying to give us used (but in good condition) baby stuff. Of course, we appreciate this and it's very nice that so many people would like to help us out & be so generous! However, after spending so much time researching everything, there are some items that we just have our hearts set on. Other items, we are happy to accept.
Here's one dilemma - Our neighbors just had a baby a few weeks ago. The other day they said they were going to a friend's house to look at some baby stuff that their friend wanted to get rid of. They mentioned that they would keep their eyes open for things that they did not need, but that we could use ( so sweet of them to think of us!). A few days went by and last night I ran in to them. They said to take our travel system right off the registry because they picked one up at their friend's house (stroller, car seat, 2 car bases).. they seemed very excited to have found this for us. They were on their way out, so we did not get to look at it last night. We're supposed to look at it sometime in the next couple of days. They said it's brown (not my first choice in color) and that it's used, in good shape and that we may just want to clean it up a bit. This was so nice of them and if we accepted it, we would be doing the "smart" thing and saving money. However, another part of me really wants the new, stroller system that we had already decided on. Am I being ungrateful and kind of a b*tch if I turn down the free stroller system? My mom thinks I'd be ridiculous to turn it down.. she's probably right. I know this sounds vein, but I'm also kind of particular about the way things look & operate. The system that we had chosen is black & "sleek" looking.. as far as strollers go.. and it maneuvers very nicely.
We have tons of other people offering to give us other items as well. Anyone else wanting to turn down some offered items? If so, how are you doing it? I feel so ungrateful & kind of selfish for wanting some things, well, the way that I want them.
Re: Unwanted Baby Gear?
I'm in the same pickle as you; so don't fret.
When my friends or family have offered I look at it first, and then I tell them I'll think about it. On certain things they wanted to give us- I tell them my DH and I want to get that for our boy ourselves, no offense.
I'd take a look at it first, and if it's really that bad I'd go from there after showing DH. We'd make the decision together, and go from there. It's not a bad thing they want to help out- so don't judge anything til you look at it, and make the best choice. If someone just gives it to you anyways, you can always go to the resale shop later. I know I can't always get exactly what we want, but we can try. I try not to judge people and their best intentions for our first baby.
I would feel the exact same way, and I don't think you're being selfish or ungrateful. I felt like my first born deserved new things. Luckily (I don't know if that's the right word), no one offered us anything used.
You can always tell then that it's not recommended to buy used car seats because you don't know if the seat has been in an accident or not. Also, check the expiration date on the car seat. It may be your way out of accepting it. You could always keep the stroller as a back up, though.
Don't car seats expire? I've also heard that used car seats are a no-no. Maybe that could be your out...
If I were you, I'd take it and hold onto it. If we got the stuff we wanted as a gift or, I still felt like spending the money to buy what we picked out after some time passed then I would go ahead and do it. Maybe you could say you took the other stuff to the babysitter's or your parents for them to use or something.
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."
I don't think you sound ungrateful at all. Somethings you just want to have brand new, especially for your first baby. It's fun to be able to pick out things that you really want. I was that way with DS, not that I didn't buy some used items or accept used stuff but somethings I just had to have brand new.
With the travel system, I would kindly tell them no thanks. You just never know if the carseat has been in an accident or not.
I'd say go take a look at it at least.
I bought mine 2nd hand from a friend so I knew it hadn't been in an accident. It was brown and green...definetly not my first choice...but I found a cute blanket that was pink that had brown and green as well and made it work.
DD was only in her infant seat for 8 months so I'm glad I saved the extra $ for really nice jogging and umbrella strollers. If it makes you feel better there will be lots of seats and strollers over the next 2+ years so if you don't get your top choice now you'll still get to in the future.
I got one of the longer lasting infant seats (up to 35 lbs) thinking she'd be in it till atleast 1 yr. Nope, she got too long for it before then. So then I bought a longer lasting convertable seat (up to 65 rear facing) thinking she be in it for atleast 3-4 yrs. Nope, now that I just flipped it around forward facing (DD is 23 months) she sits too high up on the seat and I bonk her head every time getting in and out. and am now looking for a 3rd low profile seat for my car.
what is the date on it ? will it last if you planned on a 2nd kid?
Is your mom close by and in need of a 2nd seat? When DD was little I just used the 2nd base in my mom's car. When she got to the next stage car seat I bought a 2nd seat altogether for my mom's car. Does DH have his own car? Once you leave the infant seat in all the time (ie don't take it out of the base and just use it like a convertable seat) DH could leave it in his car.
I HAVE BEEN getting alot of donations too, for me its great because I am happy not to spend $$ when I don't need. I have decided that the items I really don't want (would rather have new) I have donated to a local women's shelter (and if asked by the giver I will tell them so) and then decided I would register for things I need later... i.e. I am registering for travel high chair and equipment i know I won't need till baby is 12 months or so.... but will be sooo happy to have on hand when ready.
Also there are things I can take to the family's cabin to have on hand there...
This. IF it hasn't been recalled or anything, I would use it as a backup. Most of the hand-me-downs we're getting are going to my parents so I don't have to lug everything when they babysit. It may be a good stroller to keep at home, just in case, DH needs to pick up the baby at the sitter and realizes the travel system is in your trunk. It happens. Also, most bases are universal now, and a PITA to get unattached from the car. Just those would be a great backup to have.
I would be more worried about the fact that it is a used car seat, beyond the color or shape of it.
I would tell them you are wanting to buy new for a car seat for safety reasons, and because you plan to reuse it with future children (even if you don't plan on more).
Thanks everyone! FTM here.. I didn't even realize that used car seats were a no no (I've seen others go this route in the past). Now that I know that, yes, that is my main concern. I think I'll check it out, check the date and possibly use the stroller as a back up, as many of you suggested
We will most likely be getting the new travel system that we have already picked out as well.
If you can trust the chain of custody (your neighbors are getting this from their friends, who can verify the seat has never been in a wreck) and it is not expired, I would take it, unless it is just vile. The travel systems seem so cool, b/c they are all 3-in-1 and look nice, however, the overwhelming majority experience seems to be that they are cumbersome and you grow out of them (either in size or usefulness) much more quickly than anticipated. So, if you can get one for free to see if it is really for you or not, bonus!
I would take the used travel system and start researching for that next-step stroller (jogging, easy for travel, all the bells and whistles - whatever is important to you) and register for that instead.
Also, if you are really worried about the seat itself, you can probably buy a new seat that will fit in the stroller and bases of the used travel system.
I completely agree with this. I don't think you sound ungrateful because I understand where you are coming from. But I think I would use the "safety" excuse as a way to back out too if it makes you that uncomfortable. I would hope they would understand.
Our first family photo!
This is what I did. My mom is totally equipped now.