"Poor Responder" feeling discouraged.

mb144 · July 2012

Hi everyone, As you can see from my signature, we're on our 5th IVF cycle since November of last year. Even using the poor responder protocols, I am getting little to no response. The one time we did make it to transfer we got a BFP, but egg quality was likely an issue (though no one really knows) since we never saw a heartbeat and m/c at 7 weeks.I am still kind of in shock, because even though I knew my dual diagnosis was bad, we were so amazingly blessed in 2008 with our first IVF. We are paying out of pocket so obviously we can't keep this up forever. And everyone seems to think I'm crazy for keeping on with this when we've got twins. I am so scared every time we go in that our RE will throw in the towel and say there's no hope for us. I guess I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking "what more does she want? doesn't she see that she has more than many people get and that she should stop now?" This morning I went in for my first monitoring on a new protocol, and there was no change either in follicular size or in my estrogen levels. My nurse says this is normal for this protocol and that on Thursday we should see a result. But at this point I have come to expect the worst. How do I wrap my mind around the fact that (and please know I am VERY THANKFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE!!!!) this might be it for us? How do I deal with the idea that I've been through all of this (plus two surgeries, one of which was bladder repair secondary to an error during my laparoscopy) for nothing? Alternatively, how do I muster hope? How do I get in that mindset that it might happen? Am I asking for too much from God/life/nature/medicine, etc?Just looking for some kind words from a community which will not tell me to suck it up and be happy with what I've got (which I am). I want another child, and I don't feel ready to give up that dream. Thanks everyone for being there, and good luck to all of you, you're all amazing!

Edwina.McDunnough · July 2012

Welcome to the bump! You may want to read the FAQ (link in my signature) to learn a bit more about this board. This particular board is for longtime posters on the IF board, which I'm sure sounds a bit confusing. It's not about having a long history with IF, but having a long history with posting on the IF board specifically. It's a special place for those of us (mostly) working on our first pregnancy where we can keep in touch with the many people we've had close ties to from the board.

The INFERTILITY board is the best place for those that are new to the community to get to know the ropes. Don't feel like you're going to be the only one there with a long treatment history, you won't be alone and many women here post on both boards. We'll be here for you if you find yourself posting longer than 6 months, but many people that "think" they belong here find that they don't have that long of a stay on the TTC boards at all. Hoping that's what happens for you.

And not to belittle your struggles, the SAIF board is really the best place to vent about wanting siblings. Many people on the IF boards and this board in particular have had very, very difficult histories and still have zero kids, and I really don't think it's the appropriate PLACE to discuss these particular feelings. I'm really not saying you're wrong to have these feelings at all, I'm just saying that it's a seriously double crappy kind of complaint to unload on women who have no kids and have struggled through an unfair amount of grief. It's exactly why the SAIF and to a different degree 2IF boards exist at all.

mb144 · July 2012

Ah okay, thanks! Maybe it should be "bump veterans" instead? Someone actually told me about this website specifically because of this sub board, oh well.

Edwina.McDunnough · July 2012

This board is for Infertility Veterans specifically and the board description is clearly stated under the title of the board and is modeled after the TTCAL 6m+ board, however we were unable to nest our board within IF for technical reasons. We take what we can get from the editors.

You may want to look on IVFConnections if you want a longtime treatment history board, there is one there as well.

krissyh21 · July 2012

I did a EPP cycle and I had a very slow start, but like the nurse suggested it did turn around enough for me to get 6 eggs at retrieval.

I was never hopeful during the cycle. I actually doubted it would work. But luckily you really do not need hope for a positive outcome. You just need to take it all one day at a time.

(((hugs))) I hope you see a turn around soon to give you a glimmer of hope.

Want a personalized experience?

"Poor Responder" feeling discouraged.

Re: &quot;Poor Responder&quot; feeling discouraged.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

&quot;Poor Responder&quot; feeling discouraged.

Re: &amp;quot;Poor Responder&amp;quot; feeling discouraged.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

"Poor Responder" feeling discouraged.

Re: "Poor Responder" feeling discouraged.