November 2011 Moms

Please tell me I am not crazy...

So I a working mom. I usually get home from work around six o clock. At that point j I normally cook dinner and feed LO dinner (purees or whatever). After that she plays until i start noticing she is sleepy (normally about 7:30). Then it is bath time, jammies and rocking with me and a bottle until she falls asleep (normally eight or eight thirty)

Today I go to give her a bath and my mom starts asking me why i am putting her to bed already. I tell her because she is tired and this is our routine. She goes on to tell me that she cant possibly be tired because she took a nap until 5:30 and that she would think i would want to see her since i have to work and never get to. Acting like i do not want to see her and am forcing her to bed.

I told her that i didnt think forcing her to stay awake just to spend time with me is really the right thing to do. Now i feel terrible and am questioning myself. Bah. 

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Re: Please tell me I am not crazy...

  • I don't think you're crazy. Your baby is tired so you put her to bed. DS1 had a very similar routine when I was working when he was a baby. 

    You're doing the right thing for your baby! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about that. Smile 

    ETA: autocorrect. Ugh! ;) 

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  • My mom always wants LO to stay up longer when she visits and acts like bedtime is NBD. ughh. My DD goes to bed at 6:30 so you are definitely not early! I hate it because we get about 20 minutes of play time then it's down to business.
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  • I think the schedule that you have established is best. That's not an early bedtime either. My LO starts to fuss around 7pm and then we start bedtime at 7:20. When my DD was this age, she went to bed an hour later. I think it depends on your LO's routine. When it comes to your mom's opinion, remember that you're the mom now! Wink
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  • You're not crazy, you're being a good mom. You're the mommy now, and you know what your LO needs and are good enough to take care of her, even though we all know you would rather spend time with her. Don't feel bad.
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  • Your bedtime routine seems both reasonable and loving to me.  Having an overtired baby is no fun for you or your LO.  Extra awake time is not really valuable if you are spending it with cranky, overtired baby.  No need to question good sense!
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  • Thanks ladies; i normally feel pretty confident in my mommy decisions, but this kind of bugged me. I think it is because i already feel guilty myself for working and missing out on time with her. 

    I appreciate the support as always.

    Here is a cold one for you lovely ladies (and a cookie for the no alchy crowd).

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  • jb2rnjb2rn member
    You are correct. My son goes to bed at 6:30, I can't imagine later than 8:30! Stick to what feels right for you and your baby. Of course you would rather have more time together, but you don't want a cranky baby!
    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

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  • 8 or 8:30 is actually a very late bed time.  I'd be looking to adjust the last nap so it ends at more like 3 or 3:30 and trying to do bed time at more like 7.
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    ~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~

    Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
    Shawn and Larissa
    LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
    LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
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  • imagesmilelari:
    8 or 8:30 is actually a very late bed time.  I'd be looking to adjust the last nap so it ends at more like 3 or 3:30 and trying to do bed time at more like 7.

    We have played around with different nap times, but she has settled on getting up around seven; morning nap around nine, afternoon nap around twelve and a late afternoon nap around five. Then bedtime at eightish. If i try to go any earlier, she will just cry and throw a fit and end up falling asleep at her regular time. 

     

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  • imagedesine77:

    imagesmilelari:
    8 or 8:30 is actually a very late bed time.  I'd be looking to adjust the last nap so it ends at more like 3 or 3:30 and trying to do bed time at more like 7.

    We have played around with different nap times, but she has settled on getting up around seven; morning nap around nine, afternoon nap around twelve and a late afternoon nap around five. Then bedtime at eightish. If i try to go any earlier, she will just cry and throw a fit and end up falling asleep at her regular time. 

     

    She'll probably drop the third nap soon.  And I'd tell your mom that you'd rather have a little high quality time with her than a lot of crappy time with her.  Quality over quantity.

    image

    ~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~

    Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
    Shawn and Larissa
    LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
    LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagesmilelari:
    imagedesine77:

    imagesmilelari:
    8 or 8:30 is actually a very late bed time.  I'd be looking to adjust the last nap so it ends at more like 3 or 3:30 and trying to do bed time at more like 7.

    We have played around with different nap times, but she has settled on getting up around seven; morning nap around nine, afternoon nap around twelve and a late afternoon nap around five. Then bedtime at eightish. If i try to go any earlier, she will just cry and throw a fit and end up falling asleep at her regular time. 

     

    She'll probably drop the third nap soon.  And I'd tell your mom that you'd rather have a little high quality time with her than a lot of crappy time with her.  Quality over quantity.

    True that. 

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  • You're definitely not crazy. DD sometimes skips her 3rd nap, but either way, whatever time she wakes up from a nap varies from 3 pm until 5:30 pm.  And no matter what, she starts showing signs of tiredness aroudn 7:30.  Sometimes earlier. I get home between 5:30 and 6 pm and I have a very similar routine. Dinner, then playing and then bedtime routine. DD is usually asleep by 8. Give or take...

    Any later, and she'll be crabby the next day, since we always wake her up around the same time. The other night, she fussed and didn't fall asleep until almost 8:30. The next day, we woke her up at normal time (6:45) and got her ready for the day. She was super fussy and ended up falling alseep in the car on the way to daycare... so early bed time is good for her.

    Yes, you might feel bad like you don't spend enough time with her... but the way I look at it is that I make sure the time I am with her, I make it quality time.

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  • Sometimes LOs naps until 530 and still goes to bed at 730. He is too tired after that. Last night DH waited until almost 9 and guess who was up at 5:00!? If LO goes to sleep at 730 he will sleep until 630-7am.   And I'm sure crabby at that. 

    Drop the 3rd nap and see what happens? 

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