Preggers habits you want to avoid

mlrafiki · July 2012

Congrats to all the other newly-preggers mommies! Now that we're all working out important questions like when and how to tell the world, I have another one: what are some things you've seen other pregnant women do that you'd like to avoid?

For instance, a lot of my pregnant friends have put WAAAAAAY Too Much Information on Facebook during their pregnancy. Like, I get the initial announcement, first ultrasound, first kick, gender, birth. But EVERY single thing your body does while you're pregnant? No one wants to know, and furthermore, it makes all your mommy friends suddenly feel invited to offer all sorts of unasked advice or detailed stories of their own pregnancies. I've told my husband to watch my Facebook, and shut me down if I get too obnoxious. Anyone else feel this way, or have other hormone-induced crazy behaviors to watch out for?

MizMess · July 2012

The facebook thing is such a problem. I have always felt that it's weird when people announce with an ultrasound - worse yet, an ultrasound that's been photoshopped to include approx date of conception and location. I actually saw one of those once. While I now understand how eagerly we wait for those u/s images, to the folks that aren't in the baby place yet, those pics just seem a bit AW-ish. Or at least to most of my circle, they always did. Especially since, again, when you're not in the baby place yet, those early pics just look like a smudge on the screen, you know? I also know people who CONSTANTLY whine about their children on fb... and of course it's the ones who have healthy, charming, adorable children who really don't deserve to be griped about like that. So yeah, I'm also trying to avoid the fb overshares.

Also, the I'm-pregnant-so-I'm-entitled behaviors. I have never felt that pregnancy entitles anyone to behave badly in public, and I will definitely be holding myself to that same standard.

Heartstrings13 · July 2012

Yup. Also want to avoid being one of those women who can't put her hands anywhere but on her belly. Nothing wrong with it, I just happen to find it slightly irritating to have a conversation with someone who is constantly rubbing their belly.

JenS8 · July 2012

Like you said, I want to avoid putting too much on facebook, and not even with my pregnancy, but with my kids as well. Someone I'm associated with on facebook posted a picture of their child's first "poo" in the toilet the other day... WAYYY TMI!

I will also avoid eating like I'm for 2. It's not necessary at any time during the pregnancy. So many women get the mentality of "I can eat whatever I want because I'm pregnant, this is my time to splurge." Will not happen to me. I want to be back to my normal weight somewhat quickly after baby. (Yes, I realize this takes A LOT of work and discipline.)

Erinkathleen84 · July 2012

Wow, I feel the same way. I get so annoyed with facebook moms. I really hope I do not become one.....but I guess you could never know!

00jennifer00 · July 2012

You might change your mind about the belly rubbing. It's just-unbelievable to feel that baby in there fluttering around, and it happens at different times, sometimes when you're talking to someone. I remember once when I was pg with my third (who was persistently posterior and had a really bad habit of kicking STRAIGHT out my belly button...my belly button is still disfigured, it's awful). We were at dh's boss's house, leaving after dinner. He was talking to me, and suddenly the little monkey kicked so hard, I had to push his foot back in while I doubled over. I know that's dramatic and not the same as just rubbing, but it's just hard to explain until you've experienced it yourself.

I agree with the not eating for two. It's hard sometimes, but you really only need 300 extra calories in the late second and third tri (unless you are underweight or carrying multiples). I gain right at the top of what's recommended and it's so freaking hard to lose it. I do go out on a binge once in a while and have a giant ice cream or something, but I try not to make it a habit. Breastfeeding, counting calories, exercising like mad-none of it melts the weight off me, it just sticks around for 18mo.

I don't really have any others...well, I guess not being a beast to my husband. I heard all my mother's stories about using her pg's as an opportunity to take it out on my dad. I promised myself and my husband that I wouldn't treat him like trash (because he is totally awesome) or yell/curse at him in labor, and I haven't yet.

KMac570 · July 2012

daylights1:
Using the term "preggers"
Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.
Right now I am trying to be positive although I am miserable. I wanted this pregnancy so bad so I'm very grateful. However, morning sickness on top of a nasty head cold has me to my knees.

I was about to say the exact same thing about the "word" preggers.

I do not want to be one of those pregnant women who are incapable of talking about anything but the pregnancy.

ashleyl31 · July 2012

daylights1:
Using the term "preggers"

You read my mind...

Boysenberry · July 2012

Heartstrings13:
Yup. Also want to avoid being one of those women who can't put her hands anywhere but on her belly. Nothing wrong with it, I just happen to find it slightly irritating to have a conversation with someone who is constantly rubbing their belly.

My brother's ex-wife did the belly rubbing thing. It never bothered me before she did it. Can't stand it. When I was pregnant with my son I scratched my belly a lot - I was so itchy in the 3rd trimester.

I want to avoid constantly updating people on the stuff no one else cares about. Even when my husband asks me how the baby's doing, I fight myself from saying, "I don't freakin' know, I can't feel it yet", instead I just say, "Everything seems fine"...

yecal262 · July 2012

Im trying not to post to much about my pregnancy in fb. I have a lot of friends who hve had recent losses and while they are happy for me and would be there if anything happened I don't want to cause any unneeded hurt feelings.

Unknown · July 2012

This content has been removed.

amatistajoy · July 2012

00jennifer00:
You might change your mind about the belly rubbing. It's just-unbelievable to feel that baby in there fluttering around, and it happens at different times, sometimes when you're talking to someone. I remember once when I was pg with my third (who was persistently posterior and had a really bad habit of kicking STRAIGHT out my belly button...my belly button is still disfigured, it's awful). We were at dh's boss's house, leaving after dinner. He was talking to me, and suddenly the little monkey kicked so hard, I had to push his foot back in while I doubled over. I know that's dramatic and not the same as just rubbing, but it's just hard to explain until you've experienced it yourself.

I totally agree..you might change your mind about the belly rubbing

mlrafiki · July 2012

Haha, sorry about that. I always found it funny and I know a few other women who have used it. But fair enough, I can see how it could bug some people.

I was a little concerned about offending someone with this post, since pregnancy is of course a very serious matter, and moreso if there was difficulty conceiving or a miscarriage. That said, I appreciate that all you ladies seem to be very grounded, and I hope we can all joke around a bit when appropriate. And I'll try to avoid the use of "preggers" as much as possible.

Sparkles01 · July 2012

You all hit most of mine, except I'd like to add posting completely naked shots of the baby right after he/she is born (and before they've been cleaned up). I get that you're proud, but your child's genitals do not need to be all over facebook. Before I even knew I was pregnant I told my best friend she had full reign to delete any photos from facebook like that. Yes, they're beautiful to you and your family, but the whole world doesn't need to see.

My goal is to not overeat as well. One friend ate literally 3 huge plates every meal when she was pregnant saying she was eating for 2 and definitely never lost that baby weight. (She used the same excuse for the next 18 months of nursing)

And regarding rubbing the belly: I had a coworker rub her belly non stop since she announced her pregnancy (at 8 weeks!!). It definitely got annoying, especially really early on when there wasn't even anything to rub.

Sparkles01 · July 2012

KMac570:
daylights1:

I do not want to be one of those pregnant women who are incapable of talking about anything but the pregnancy.

This too!! I've been trying really hard to have conversations with H that have nothing to do with the baby. I've also been making a huge effort to update my blog daily (with no mentions of the pregnancy) like I did before I got pregnant. I had a life before I got pregnant, I am determined to have one for at least the next 7 months!

shandorfml2 · July 2012

daylights1:
Using the term "preggers"
Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.
Right now I am trying to be positive although I am miserable. I wanted this pregnancy so bad so I'm very grateful. However, morning sickness on top of a nasty head cold has me to my knees.

Same here. I want this baby badly, but been 'in-bed' ill the last 3 days has been difficult.

doodles24 · July 2012

Compulsive stomach rubbing weirds me out too. Also, when people relate their every thought and action to their pregnancy.

OhMySpawn · July 2012

daylights1:
Using the term "preggers"

My exact first thought.

MSW_721 · July 2012

I agree with all the facebook stuff. I hate any status update with words such as mucus plug, dilation, water breaking and the like. Seriously, when did it become ok to share this information with the world?

toriwc · July 2012

In addition to the aformentioned preggers, preggo, etc, blaming everything on pg hormones. If you are going to be a biitch, own it. I don't think I did that once with DD, and I will try not to again this time.

Ber16 · July 2012

00jennifer00:
You might change your mind about the belly rubbing. It's just-unbelievable to feel that baby in there fluttering around, and it happens at different times, sometimes when you're talking to someone. I remember once when I was pg with my third (who was persistently posterior and had a really bad habit of kicking STRAIGHT out my belly button...my belly button is still disfigured, it's awful). We were at dh's boss's house, leaving after dinner. He was talking to me, and suddenly the little monkey kicked so hard, I had to push his foot back in while I doubled over. I know that's dramatic and not the same as just rubbing, but it's just hard to explain until you've experienced it yourself.

I agree with the not eating for two. It's hard sometimes, but you really only need 300 extra calories in the late second and third tri (unless you are underweight or carrying multiples). I gain right at the top of what's recommended and it's so freaking hard to lose it. I do go out on a binge once in a while and have a giant ice cream or something, but I try not to make it a habit. Breastfeeding, counting calories, exercising like mad-none of it melts the weight off me, it just sticks around for 18mo.

I don't really have any others...well, I guess not being a beast to my husband. I heard all my mother's stories about using her pg's as an opportunity to take it out on my dad. I promised myself and my husband that I wouldn't treat him like trash (because he is totally awesome) or yell/curse at him in labor, and I haven't yet.

I agree with this as far as the belly rubbing goes. You almost don't even realize you're doing it. My college roommate would giggle at me cuz she thought it was cute that I did it almost all the time. and I definitely agree with not eating for you. I'm pretty sure you only need to increase your calorie intake by like 200 and that's it.

Mindish · July 2012

I agree with the TMI on fb, and I would never consider posting a picture of my naked baby on the Internet with all those creeps out there. I don't care how cute it is now, your teenage child will not appreciate that all your friends and acquaintances have seen him/her buck naked.

aimeecasey · July 2012

I want to develop an entitled attitude. People will still steal the close parking spots, folks will still not open doors me, etc and having a huge belly won't entitle me to be treated special and I want to keep that in mind.

Edit: left a word out. ** I DON'T want to develop...

amykins1283 · July 2012

I'd like to avoid using the word "preggers".

ALKR10292012 · July 2012

Heartstrings13:
Yup. Also want to avoid being one of those women who can't put her hands anywhere but on her belly. Nothing wrong with it, I just happen to find it slightly irritating to have a conversation with someone who is constantly rubbing their belly.

Guilty

- I also sat there and poked at my belly to get him to move so i could feel him. Poor kid.

mrskitton · July 2012

daylights1:

Using the term "preggers"

Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.

Right now I am trying to be positive although I am miserable. I wanted this pregnancy so bad so I'm very grateful. However, morning sickness on top of a nasty head cold has me to my knees.

How about "preggly??" Wink

ChevyFam717 · July 2012

Avoiding Preggers and Preggo would be top of the list.

Also on top - oversharing on facebook and not talking about anything except for the baby - sure its top priority on your mind but it will annoy other people really fast.

I also do not want to be the one complaining about everything - - but if someone is having it easier than me I don't want to make them feel like I am looking down on them either... I know some people have it worse than others- but that doesn't mean that other people's symptoms aren't bad for them...

Oh and yeah - don't blame always being grumpy on the hormones - if you are going to be a B*tch, own it! (Love that comment from PP) though if I randomly start crying that is totally out of my control LOL!

Sparkles01 · July 2012

One more- being the know it all. One friend basically considered herself an expert from the day she got pregnant. She blogs with a "holier than thou" mentality, basically ripping apart anyone who doesn't abide by the same parenting style. I think it's important to respect each mother and the decisions they've made for their family.

magel050485 · July 2012

Heartstrings13:
Yup. Also want to avoid being one of those women who can't put her hands anywhere but on her belly. Nothing wrong with it, I just happen to find it slightly irritating to have a conversation with someone who is constantly rubbing their belly.

I had no where else to put my hands by the time I was 7 or so months pregnant. They felt odd hanging at my side and hitting the side of the belly and I couldn't cross them normally with the belly there.

Heartstrings13 · July 2012

I don't mind when people periodically rub their bellies or rest their hands on their bellies. It's the women who do nothing but rub their bellies and barely pay attention to anyone else that I find irritating. I had a friend that I swore was going to rub her baby right out of her uterus. Stick out tongue

That's all I want to avoid.

LiteraryFoodie · July 2012

KMac570:
daylights1:
Using the term "preggers"
Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.
I was about to say the exact same thing about the "word" preggers.
I do not want to be one of those pregnant women who are incapable of talking about anything but the pregnancy.

All of the bolded. Everyone else's world does not revolve around my pregnancy. There are other things going on in other people's lives, too.

Whatever+Ever · July 2012

LiteraryFoodie:
KMac570:
daylights1:
Using the term "preggers"
Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.
I was about to say the exact same thing about the "word" preggers.
I do not want to be one of those pregnant women who are incapable of talking about anything but the pregnancy.
All of the bolded. Everyone else's world does not revolve around my pregnancy. There are other things going on in other people's lives, too.

I agree with most habits mentioned in this thread, particularly this one. Sometimes mothers and mothers-to-be seem to confuse (in action, speech, and thought) "doing what's best for the the family" with complete selfishness.

With the exception of your very close friends and family, the rest of the world doesn't find it at all remarkable that you're reproducing. Pretending like this makes you special or important just alienates people.

This type of obsession is why Christopher Hitchens accused women of being decisively unfunny.

ChristyPells · July 2012

"I agree with most habits mentioned in this thread, particularly this one. Sometimes mothers and mothers-to-be seem to confuse (in action, speech, and thought) "doing what's best for the the family" with complete selfishness.

With the exception of your very close friends and family, the rest of the world doesn't find it at all remarkable that you're reproducing. Pretending like this makes you special or important just alienates people."

I so agree with this! When I was planning my wedding I made it a point to remember it was only the most important thing IN THE WORLD to my DH and myself so I intend to do the same thing now.

I refuse to over share on FB... as a matter of fact, I am not 100% certain we are going to post much of anything on FB. My biggest FB Pet Peeve: Announcing with a photo of your HPT! Ewww!

I also love when people are posting photos of themselves IN the hospital during labor or waiting for the c-section or waiting to be induced.... Good times there!

mlrafiki · July 2012

Ouch, you guys REALLY hate that word. Okay then, noted.

It's good to see everyone mentioning the point about having something to talk about OTHER than pregnancy and babies: I could see myself falling into that if I'm not careful, since this is my first, so I'm going to make a concerted effort to focus on non-baby things, too. Thankfully, I'm starting a new job, so that should make it easier.

I've also considered doing some kind of personal project, for which the deadline is a couple weeks before my due date, to give me something else to focus on besides growing a kid. I'm an animator, so I was thinking I'd make a little short film. What do you all think, good idea or lame?

Again, thrilled to see everyone so grounded.

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