Two Under 2

BFP! 15 months apart!

I'm so excited to be joining this board.  I have to admit I am a little nervous since they will only be around 15 months apart.  My first one was born last December and our next is due Late March!  Thank goodness pregnancies are 9 months so I have a while to get things ready for number 2!  Does anyone else have this age gap for their kids?  And how do you deal with the criticism from people who think you are crazy, the only person I have told is my mother and she is not thrilled about it at all :( 
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Re: BFP! 15 months apart!

  • laura1laura1 member

    My 2 are 15.5 months apart.  It is hard at times, but my 2 are best friends.  When they wake up from naps or in the morning, they are so excited to see each other - my DS gets out of his bed and goes right in to see his sister - even before he wants to see me.  I am actually worried about having a 2.5 year age gap between my DD and #3!  

    I didn't really have that much criticism from my friends/family.  My sister and I are 11.5months apart, so my family was thrilled Smile  Some people thought I was crazy, but I didn't really care - it really wasn't any of their business!  I have had more criticism about having a #3 than I did about having 2 15 months apart.  I have a boy and a girl, so people automatically assumed we were done!  It seems like everyone has an opinion on 3 kids.  But whatever, DH and I are doing it, not them Wink 

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  • I have no advice for you obviously since we aren't there yet, but I wanted to post because we are in the same exact situation. My daughter was born last December, and we are also due the end of March! We told both sets of parents. DH's parents were very excited, my parents not so much...they said they were just shocked.
    Other than that I have only told one friend, and she was already expecting it to be soon so no judgement.

    We've already gotten a couple of looks when I brought my daughter to the OB clinic, but since I wanted my kids close together I'm trying to just brush it off. I'm hoping most people will just mind their own business. H&H 9months! I hope to see more of your posts around.
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  • Congrats! Mine will be about 15 months apart (#2 is due next month). Most people were surprised and we got a lot of "you'll have your hands full" comments. We got DD a Big Sister book and we talk about the baby all the time but I can't quite grasp how much she really understands. I'm hoping she's still young enough for a semi smooth transition, if that's even possible. But the pp gives me hope! 

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  • imageTussie Mussie:
    I have no advice for you obviously since we aren't there yet, but I wanted to post because we are in the same exact situation. My daughter was born last December, and we are also due the end of March! We told both sets of parents. DH's parents were very excited, my parents not so much...they said they were just shocked.
    Other than that I have only told one friend, and she was already expecting it to be soon so no judgement.

    We've already gotten a couple of looks when I brought my daughter to the OB clinic, but since I wanted my kids close together I'm trying to just brush it off. I'm hoping most people will just mind their own business. H&H 9months! I hope to see more of your posts around.
    Wow im glad to hear im not alone! How exciting!
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  • Congrats! Mine will be nearly 18 months apart so I've got a few months on you but I'm excited. A little nervous too, but excited, like you said. It's amazing how FAST this one is flying by though. I've just now been able to start getting back into the mindset of preparing for a new baby. We haven't had any criticism really, just lots of surprised reactions and "you're gonna be tired!" Most of the time to that I just reply"I'm already tired!" with a big smile on my face that gets across the point that DD is already keeping me busy but I love it and I don't regret this new baby. 
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  • I'm so sorry you haven't had the happiest reaction so far. Mine will be 13 months apart. I was worried about what people would say. ThanKilly no be has said anything negative to us. In-laws have commented about how hard it will be and that it's good to get it done and out of the way in one swoop. I hate that they think kids are just a burden. I take their comments with a grain of salt (because there are so many that bother me). Working at a Catholic school, it's very common to have siblings so close in age. That helped me to feel less embarrassed about getting pregnant so quickly. 

    As the date's approaching, I'm nervous about how it will impact my daughter because she'll be so little and won't really understand what's going on. Plus it looks like I'll be having another cesarean, so I'm worried about how I'll take care of DD1 and DD2. In the end, though, I know it will be ok. Somehow. 

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  • imageJansheski:
    I'm so excited to be joining this board.  I have to admit I am a little nervous since they will only be around 15 months apart.  My first one was born last December and our next is due Late March!  Thank goodness pregnancies are 9 months so I have a while to get things ready for number 2!  Does anyone else have this age gap for their kids?  And how do you deal with the criticism from people who think you are crazy, the only person I have told is my mother and she is not thrilled about it at all :( 

     

    My guy was born at the end of October, and my next one is due early Febraury! So about the same gap, but I'm really excited about it! I think having them close in age will be fun, and I don't let what other people say bother me. I'd rather have my hands full than empty! 

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  • Congratulations to you! Although I have no advice since I am still pregnant, mine will be 13 months apart. It has been a roller coaster of emotions that's for sure. I haven't really had any negative comments, but I was prepared for them... I did get some crazy looks, especially as I get bigger. Overall, I am very excited, I know it will be tough but the ladies on this board have eased my mind on the stresses. GL!
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  • Congrats! Mine are 16 months apart :)

    You will be fine. I tell everyone - a sense of humor and a good attitude is huge :). Don't listen to the negativity. I honestly get more compliments in public than criticism or rude comments. Maybe because they look more like twins than 2u2. Who knows. :)

    Good luck! 

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  •  Have no advice but have some  of the same concerns. Mine will be almost 17 months apart, my first was born in November and new expecting in April. I'm worrie about people's reactions, or rather my reaction to them. I think it will be great I have them do close so that they can ( hopefully) be best of friends, but it's definitely a little scary and exciting all at the same time. 
  • Congrats!  My older 2 are 12 months apart and the younger one and this baby will also be 12 months apart.  We got looks and comments when I was PG with #2, and even more when it became clear I was PG with #3.  My parents and DH's parents were happy for us (I am one of three and DH is one of six). 

    I will say there are moments when it is challenging and I want to pull my hair out and scream right along with them, but there are times when I wouldn't change it for anything.  My two boys are at the age now where they are starting to play with eachother, and it is SO cute to watch them. 

    I know there will be times when having 3 will be a challenge, but DH and I have always said we wanted a big family.  This is what we wanted, so we really don't care about what other people think.

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  • imagesweetpea2003:

    Congrats! Mine are 16 months apart :)

    You will be fine. I tell everyone - a sense of humor and a good attitude is huge :). Don't listen to the negativity. I honestly get more compliments in public than criticism or rude comments. Maybe because they look more like twins than 2u2. Who knows. :)

    Good luck! 

    This! I always tell people "it's easy on them and hard on me" but after awhile you get the hang of things, crying doesn't frazzle you as much, and when things get really out of hand sometimes you just have to laugh (or shut the door and scream....all of which I have done).

    I get comments every time I go out, without fail, some are good some bad but it doesn't bother me. My extended family was critical but what do they know.....just don't take it personally! Attitude is everything 

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  • kagl08kagl08 member

    My 2 were supposed to be 15 months apart, but ended up being 13.5 months apart (DS born 5 weeks early). I LOVE it. I say all the time if I had waited until now to TTC I wouldn't be. Haha! The transition was really smooth and my DD barely noticed my DS. In fact, it didn't start getting tough until a few weeks ago when DS really go mobile and DD knows that "her toys" are what she wants NOW. We have constant fights, but the love between siblings in the sweetest thing ever.

    I got tons of comments, but mostly from total strangers. About how "we were ambitious," "DH must not have been able to keep his hands off of me," and a ton more. They were annoying if nothing else. Honestly, the comments are more annoying now. We get a lot of "DS must have been an accident, huh?" I am not sure why because we had our kids close together, he MUST have been an accident. DS was planned. If he wasn't a would have considered him a surprise blessing, not an accident.

    People really thought we were crazy. But now that we have an almost 2 year old and an almost 1 year old, I know without a doubt it was the BEST move ever. DH and I say all the time how we love this age gap. No jealousy, smooth transition, similar interests in toys, joint birthday parties, and get the baby stage over with quick. Love it. Exhausting, sure, but I believe having 2 at any age gap is exhausting.

  • Wow thank you for all the comments, support, and great advice I am feeling so much more at ease now.
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  • jani7jani7 member
    I have loved reading all the responses so far!! I am expecting and they will be about 16 1/2 months apart.   I have been and am super nervous so I love reading positive posts.  My first DS is adopted so part of my worry is just how he will deal with having a bio sibling so close in age. 
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  • My #1 and #2 are 16.5 months apart and I am due in the next couple weeks with #3 who will be 20 months after #2. We got mixed feedback from people about both #2 and #3 ... I just came up with a couple short responses and said them repeatedly with a smile. The easiest for me is "my sister and I are 20 months apart and I LOVE it - I am thrilled to be able to give the same thing to our children" ... I also comment on how "blessed we are" (works well if you're religious) and acknowledge that life is crazy but we'll get the hard early years out of the way faster which works for us.

    As far as your ability to manage it, just take lots of deep breaths. My son (and I equally) had a hard time adjusting during the first 4-6 weeks - I won't lie that it was really hard. I had a c/s and couldn't physically care for him for a few weeks and that broke my heart. He was too young to verbalize his frustrations so he was just angry/tantrum-y for awhile. There was a very memorable breakdown of me sobbing in the middle of my pediatrician's office that I'll never forget. Slowly though, things got easier. The kids are 3 and 20 months now and they are BEST FRIENDS. If you separate them for anything, they ask repeatedly for each other. They're just getting to the point where #2 can communicate with words and they've started talking to each other. My heart breaks in the best possible way when they look out for each other, tell me what the other needs and work together as a team and it happens more every day. I actually think adding #3 will be a lot easier as long as they can still have each other and we focus on them as a team while bonding separately with a baby.

    At the end of the day, my short response about being close with a sibling is huge. There are lots of challenges with having kids this close in age and I am pretty overwhelmed (I work full time and we have a puppy, life is BUSY), but I wouldn't trade it. I love that we are giving the kids this lifestyle and I sincerely believe we'll appreciate their closeness as they grow older. Remember the positives in this choice, you'll do just fine. :)

  • I just got a BFP too and they will be 15 months apart!! I am just as nervous!
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  • Mine will be about 15 months apart as well.  Dd is a June baby and ds is due in October.  The main comment I get is "wow you two didnt waste any time" and comments about how hard it will be. I usually just say the dh and I are ready for the.  But I don't think it will be any harder and probably easier than twins.  But when someone is having twins or multiples I wonder if they get negative comments like 2 under 2 gets?  I mean neither are a negative situation so why do people have to make negative comments. 

  • My girls are 15 months apart and it's been wonderful!   I'm sure your mom is just shocked right now... she'll come around!    

     

     

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  • thanks to all the PP for the inspirational comments. i had my first LO last november and am due with my second in april. i'm nervous for the first few months, but very excited for having two so close in age.

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  • DD#1 was 15.5 months old when DD was born. Now DD will be 20 months when DD#2 is born.

    My closest friends and family members knew I wanted children close in age. I don't think they really believed we would go for it so soon, but they weren't exactly shocked since I talked openly about it. 

    Lots of people said / say I'm crazy and similar comments. I just make sure I have a huge smile on my face so that I can nod my head to whatever they say and seem thrilled about it. 

    With DD my boss (who was a close friend) had the worst reaction- like I specifically did it to make her life miserable. With DS#2 MIL had the worst reaction- "well I'm not babysitting anymore"  were her first words and she didn't follow that up with a congratulations.

    Anyway, try not to worry about what people think or say. Having two kids 15.5 months apart has been an amazing experience. I actually wish DD#2 was ready to arrive, because I'm confident about that age gap. DS#1 and DD are best friends. They have actually been sharing a room (short term) and honestly I think they will be sad when they get separated.

     

     

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