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August 2011 Moms
melissa0726
member
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Weird situation re: monetary gifts for LO
melissa0726
member
I'll try not to let this get too long....but no promises!
Since DD was born, my ILs have asked several times if we are opening a savings or investment account for DD. DH and I are still looking into our options and have yet to decide what we want to set up. A couple weeks ago, my ILs gave DD a fairly generous check as an early birthday present. Since we don't have an account set up for her, DH and I agreed to deposit it into my personal savings account that I have had since I was a child. It is not linked to any of our debit cards nor is it linked to our joint account, so we thought that was a good place to "hold" the money until we get situated with her own account.
MIL asked what we did with the money and I told her. She then asked me if she could have the account number so she could deposit money into the account whenever she feels like it. I don't know why, but I felt really uncomfortable with the request. Maybe it's because it was drilled into my head from such a young age not to give out my savings account number. I don't know. My ILs have more honesty and integrity than any two people I have ever met in my life, so it's not that I have any concern about their intentions. And, FTR, they are DH's employers, so they direct deposit his paycheck into our joint checking account, and (obviously) they have a very clear picture of our financial situation.
So, I guess my question is, am I the one being weird here? Is this normal? Do any of your families handle monetary gifts in this way?
Here's the other weird thing. MIL then went on to tell me that she went to the bank on her own and tried to set up an account in DD's name. She was basically told that this was not possible, only a child's parents or legal guardian has the ability to set up an account on behalf of the child. So in lieu of that, this is why they wrote us the check.
I don't want to sound ungrateful. We're thrilled that DH's parents want to help contribute towards DD's future. I just thought it was a really strange way to handle everything. If my parents ever wanted to give DD a monetary gift, they would write her a check and give it to us. DH and I have zero history of acting irresponsibly with money, so it's not like there is any question of us misusing the funds or anything crazy like that.
Am I the only one that finds all of this to be really strange??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Weird situation re: monetary gifts for LO
My parents have opened a custodial account for DD in her name with them as the custodans of the account, so I find it strange that your ILs couldn't open an account for her. All my parents needed was her social security number. That said, we opened an account in our names but have it labeled as DD's account and that is where we put any gift money DD receives.
I would probably not give out the account number either, or at least would have reservations about it if it were in my name. But I agree with PP that opening an account with them would be a good idea.
Thanks for all the feedback! I feel much better that this is not totally unheard of. My ILs tend to do things a little differently than me and my family, so sometimes their approach to things - while their intentions are wonderful - can throw me for a loop. Crash, you are totally right about the account number not being a secret. I think I was just caught off guard by the whole conversation. I think DH and I are going to go ahead and set up an account for DD in our names as the sole people who have access to the account funds, but provide the grandparents with the account number in the event that they want to make deposits. Again, appreciate the feedback!
Ask them to set up a 529 in your LOs name. MY parents set one up for each of mine when they were baptized. They also put in money monthly directly from their account and more money on major holidays/events. That way they are in control, and when time comes it will be transferred to them.
AVOID the Gerber Life Plan. It is a a glorified savings account and the only money for college they get is EXACTLY what you put in NOTHING more. So you would be better off with a savings account then for interest.
Thanks for the confirmation, I appreciate the insight since this is YH's area of expertise. I will mention the record-keeping to my MIL, she is pretty fanatical about dotting her i's when it comes to banking, but better to be safe than sorry.