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Natural Birth
jennakg
member
Does this bother anyone else?
jennakg
member
I have a friend who just had a baby on the 19th. I emailed her last night to ask her how everything went and see how everything's going. She said that it went great, except she had an episiotomy because she "was too small for him to come out."
Seriously? That's what the female body was made for. She is a small person, but not that small. And he wasn't a huge baby. I think her DR was just too impatient to let the baby come out more slowly.
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Re: Does this bother anyone else?
I would never say anything like that to her. I'm thrilled for her and that she's overall happy with how everything went, and now has a super cute baby to look at. And you're right that I don't have tons of info. I just hope that it was truly necessary for her, and not just a convenience thing because I hear recovery sucks.
And now I'm hoping that I won't be putting my foot in my mouth in a couple of months.
Yeah I don't know that I would be sharing that, except possibly with my close friends who have recently had babies. My cousin's wife had a baby on 7/7, and my sister's wedding shower was the same day. I probably heard three or four times throughout the day "Did you hear that she tore really bad?" Yes I did, and no I did not need to know that.
When people asked why I was on bedrest after I had DS and I tell them I had stitches from tearing I assumed they could deduce what I meant without me elaborating on my, er, dimensions.
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In several years on this board, I don't recall every seeing that assertion. What I have seen (and said myself) is that ROUTINE episiotimies are no longer common. If you read Bradley books, for example, they make it sound like they are done left and right and that just no longer is true. (I am a Bradley mom and believe in the method, but their materials desperately need some updates.)
More Green For Less Green
It's hard to hear a birth story with something you want to avoid and not try to make an assumption (like an impatient doctor) to give a reason it won't happen to you.
It's a natural defence. Keep it in your head. Read lots of happy birth stories and stay as positive as you can.
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I agree! My DD dropped her heart rate very low just before birth (at home) and my MW had to stretch my tissues with her hands to allow for baby's passage in a more appropriate time frame to our situation. She has performed almost 200 home births and I would have been her first episiotomy but luckily we avoided it. She has only bad to stretch tissues manually like she did with me one other time so far. I ended up with six stitches total (in three different areas) and a super quick recovery. Way better than the episiotomy or emergency C-section I would have gotten in the hospital. Baby was born pink and crying, apgar scores 9 and 10.
This is a really good point to keep in mind.
I agree with the others - without having been there, you can't know what was going on for sure.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
My in-laws have the horrible habit of telling DH and I what his sisters are dilated to when they are in labor. Soooo much TMI! A simple "she's about to start pushing" or whatever works just as well...
OP -yeah, it's hard to hear info that seems like BS, but keeping it to yourself is ways a good plan.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I nearly cried with joy when my MW said she was considering an epis as the next step, but first wanted to have me try a few other positions again. I have been pushing over 2.5 hours and not tearing at all. DS's head is on the large-size (way to go DH's family genes!), and without me tearing, it just wasn't happening. My contractions were slowing down, I was exhausted, and it was like DS's head was hitting a wall over and over. 2 contractions later he was born. I was thrilled to have it work for me. If she isn't hung up on it, you shouldn't be.
Yeah I worked with a MW for DD1. She got "stuck" in that she'd start to crown and then slip back up, and it seemed I couldn't get her out.
MW went to get the consultant OB to see if an episiotomy was necessary. OB watched me work through a contraction and said, "no two good pushes and she can do it." Then the OB hung around to cheer me on and catch the baby.
In my opinion (because hindsight is everything) my MW was absolutely right to seek another medical opinion when it seemed LO was stuck. The OB was right to hang fire and see what I could do. Really I just needed to push harder because I was holding back from the ring of fire in fear of tearing badly. LO came out with no intervention needed, and me needing 2 stitches.
Different medical professionals may have made a different call, but I would not have argued with the person who had been staring at my vag for the last hr and a half, and who could see my baby wasn't coming out. They would have cut me open and I would never have known if the outcome could have been different.
OP Your friend does not know if things could have been different and nor do you.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
My OB did this too. I tore and he didn't bother to tell me how many stitches, just to rest a lot. Not all OB's are going to grab a scalpel if the baby needs help coming out.