Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
LuckyClover13
member
Re: C-section???
I didn't think you could get both. With a scheduled c/s they will probably just do a spinal. I had one with my c/s and I definitely wasn't numb for 20hrs. I got feeling back from my toes up starting at about 4ish hours later (which is the usual recommended time that you lay down to avoid a headache). I was up and walking the next morning and my cath came out (my c/s was at noon the day before). I also was bf'ing at about the 4hr mark. I remember them wheeling DS in my room saying how hungry he was.
After surgery it's important to get up and walking ASAP to avoid a blood clot. The nurses let me push DS around in his bassinet up and and down the halls to get me going (although I know at the hospital I'm delivering at now they have a policy against that).
I don't understand having an epidural nada spinal block? I just had a spinal block and could feel my legs and move my toes a couple of hrs later. I was up and walking that evening after my daughter was born around 1PM.
My hospital had a room-in policy. The nurses were super supportive of me breast feeding and would lift DD over to me whenever I asked if DH wasn't around.
What you will likely be getting is a spinal w/ meds in it, aka morphine. This will allow you to stay quite comfortable for about a day. I had my c/s at 7:45, was back in my room by 9:45 and Grace was brought in just after 10. We tried BFing then. I was up walking around by 4 and the only reason I waited that long was b/c the nurse was waiting on another nurse to come in so they could disconnect some of my wires. Grace stayed w/ me the entire time and only left to get a few tests done. I was able to get up and do everything right from the start. H was only there during the day.
Get up as soon as you can, it makes for easier recovery. W/ my first, I was in bed for over 24 hours and then it was HELL for several days.
BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
missing my baby everyday
BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d
You'll probably just get the spinal and not both.
FWIW, I've NEVER gotten up before the 24 hour mark and have been just fine. They have the compression things on my legs overnight, and my catheter and IV don't get taken out until the next day. Even with laying in bed for 24 hours after ALL 3 of my c-sections, I'm up, walking around and showering by myself the very next day, and I don't take any pain meds. It is possible to do that.
I agree get up as soon as possible, but the way they do it at my hospital, I would have to get up around 9pm or so, and it would just be too hard with the catheter and IV.
GL!
In this case you will just need to make sure you have someone with you to bring you the baby and help you change diapers, feed, etc. If your SO or H can't be there, I am sure the nurses will help you when you need it.
This is a strange way to do a c-section. The typical way is to use a spinal with Duramorph (a long acting narcotic). This allows the numbness to wear off in 1-2 hours but pain relief to last 12-24 hours. What you are describing is usually used for big cancer surgeries. In these cases the epidural catheter is used for several days to provide long lasting pain relief. Sounds like overkill for a c-section. The other way this is used is for the so called "walking epidurals". This is used early in labor. For these the spinal is dosed with a narcotic only. This enables the patient to have pain relief for a couple of hours without being numb. When the real pain kicks in the epidural is started. There is no benefit to doing this for a c-section.
Even if they keep you numb for 20 hours, you can still breast feed. You will be able to move your arms and upper body. Someone will just have to bring you the baby.
Here is some information on C-Section Anesthesia
I had something similar. They kept in the epidural catheter in for about 36 hours. I had what is called "patient controlled epidural analgesia" with a fentanyl (narcotic like morphine) pump giving a drip and extra doses if I needed to with a button push. However, I was not numb for 20 hours. After the first bag of meds, the numbing meds were removed and I was up walking 12 hours after surgery. Perhaps this is what you will experience too.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
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Of course you're nervous but honestly I thought having a planned C-section was great. I have a high tolerance for pain but I virtually had no pain afterwards and only took my meds for about 2 days. I was up within a few hours but there is no need to worry because the nurses will help with whatever you need and will bring you your baby when you want them to.
I am pregnant with baby #2 and want the experience of a natural birth but won't be upset if I have to have another c-section. My advice is to prepare your house for baby and relax. You have the advantage of knowing exactly when baby will be here.