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March 2013 Moms
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I need him to stop humping my bump! :(

CCBelATCCCBelATC member
in March 2013 Moms

I woke up this AM to brown spotting. It was dried on my panties. Crying I specifically stayed home from the 18 mile bike ride yesterday to avoid any undue harm to my baby.

DH and I had sex again yesterday. I wish I had kept track of each time like I was when we were TTC. Ever since we got our BFP, he can't (and won't) keep his hands off of me. You might remember from another post, I asked him to wait until our 1st appt (8/15) to make sure it's okay to be having this much sex. I told him how concerned I was he could bump my cervix (I'm wicked petite) and injure the plug, and everything in general. Aaahhh! I just want someone to tell me I'm indeed PG, and it's alive & healthy! Anyway, it kept him off me for a few days. Confused

I've talked and talked to him, but I can't figure out why he wants to have sex 24/7. I hate having to snap at him occassionally because he just can't keep it in his head that I'm nervous and would be more willing to have sex if I knew things were in the clear. Part of me thinks it's cuz there's no AF... and my boobs are a little swollen (I'm completely flat chested so some volume is new to us) ... maybe he thinks once I start showing that sex as we know it is over ... or that once the baby comes it'll be over? I don't know but it's getting old, and I'm praying this spotting was from the sex and that it's already over and we didn't hurt our baby.

Anyone else's husbands do nothing but hump you once you got BFP? Or any other ideas as to how I can get through to him and make him cool it? I need help!

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Re: I need him to stop humping my bump! :(

  • leneae10leneae10 member
    Umm he needs to grow the eff up.  If you say no, that means NO.  It's called spousal rape if you want no part of it.  You are not his property.
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  • oliversmom03oliversmom03 member
    I so get what you mean about not wanting to have sex until the first appt. They don't get it. lol Mine is a day before yours, and seems like forever away, but I understand it's important to you bc I feel like I don't want my husband messing up anything down there. Once I go to the doc's and they tell me that there is a heartbeat and everything check out, then he can hump away. hahahaha. As for the brown spotting, I had that with my daughter that I had an April, and like my Doc said, a little bit of brown blood is old blood. As for advice about having him cool it? I just told my husband this is important bc I have MC before, and want to hear from the doc that we are good to go. After all when you spot bigtime, don't they tell you to stop sex? That is what I tell Jeff. I'm just kinda avoiding him right now, and telling him I sick I feel, but he knows I am. I'm in bed all day or running to the rr. Hope this helps.
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  • Devbo18Devbo18 member
    Ahhhhhh, my husband is the same way! I think because THEY aren't the ones pregnant, they don't understand how precious these early days are. I gave in once so far, but don't plan on giving in again until I have an ultrasound.  I feel bad bc I miss being intimate as well, but not so bad that I will hurt the bambino.  Good luck!
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  • ctmom2011ctmom2011
    My DH wanted sex the other day. I helped him out without having sex it seemed to satisfy him.
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  • ToBeJBGToBeJBG

    lol...looks like I'm not the only one that married a fiend. My hubby's sex drive is unquenchable!  We already have sex quite often 3-4 times a week (which is ALOT for me, geez let a girl watch some tv time to time).

    Unfortunately due to me spotting dr put me on pelvic rest. He won't say anything, but I can tell he's dying inside, especially with me having gone up a cup size. ha ha  I told him it's practice for the 6wks after the baby is born.  He's too sweet to complain though, but when his showers take a little longer than usual, I'll know why Wink

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  • CCBelATCCCBelATC member

    I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in this!

    Leneae10--Thank you! I'd never let a man abuse me in that way, but I do agree he was being immature and only thinking about his perspective!

    ctmom2011--I did think of that, but just haven't yet...clearly a good option!

    Oliversmom--I'm so sorry for your previous loss! All of your ideas are great!

    Thank you all so much for sharing! I talked with DH again about the spotting and he didn't know it could be a sign of MC. I have an emotional DH...He is so remorseful it's almost breaking my heart. But if it's old blood though, it must not be from sex yesterday then??? I'm going to call the Dr.'s office tomorrow and see if there's any openings with a nurse.

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  • chicky1231chicky1231

    Yeah tell you DH to grow the frig up...if having sex gives you anxiety now then he has to wait.  I don't care what his sex drive is like.  I spotted during sex with my first pregnancy and when I would call the Dr they would tell me to hold off until I saw them.  This time around I spotted the first time, saw my Dr and all was ok. It took me a few weeks to want to try again and even then DH asked me 10-15 times if I was sure b/c he didn't want to do anything that made me worry.  We did and he took it really easy as to not hit my cervix since we know I have a really sensitve one and it was ok.

    I think it is really imature of your DH to make you do something that leaves him satisfied and you scared and worried.

    ETA: I will add that having sex can not cause a miscarriage but you should not be still doing it if your spotting. What your DH has to realize is he has a long road ahead where sex will not be wanted or ok.  I ended up on pelvic rest from 20 weeks on last time and then the 6 weeks of post partum bleeding. There will be many weeks of no sex so he better get use to it

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  • vegemom302vegemom302 member
    Yeah, you really shouldn't have to tell a grown man that when you say no, you mean no. That's not okay.
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  • aWm2010aWm2010 member
    I have already had one ultrasound and the nurse told me before that when I was getting my betas done to not have sex and even after my ultrasound she told me to hold off again. I think she was worried about the bleeding even though after my second betas came back and everything looked good I took it as a sign we were on the clear so we had had sex a couple times, but was shocked when she told us to keep holding off. Even though I have not bleed after sex. I hope your H listens to you and lays off for awhile.
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  • Beaglechon2012Beaglechon2012 member

    I have to be honest, I am with the other gals on this post that are concerned. What is wrong with your H that he doesn't understand no means no? Is it that you said no and then he forced you to have sex in some way or you said no and he still seduced you? I am not trying to flame you, I am just worried about you if it's the former. If it's the latter then I guess that's an understandable self-control issue on your part as well. ;)

    Edited to fix typo. 



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  • toriwctoriwc member
    My husband has survived 8.5 months of pelvic rest once before and he will again.  OP, I think your husband is absolutely ridiculous.
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  • MamaBird531MamaBird531
    I understand the anxiety around having sex, however, have you called the dr's office and specifically asked if sex would be ok? I don't know your story, but if there are no underlying issues, usually sex is okay. Not that I am taking your husband's side. If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. But, if you would feel better getting an okay from a doc/nurse before your appt, I would imagine they would be able to talk to you about it beofre the appt. Also, if you are afraid you are having issues with the spotting, have you tried to get an earlier appt?
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