If you bed-share at what age did you/do you intend to stop

KateLouise · July 2012

My 2 1 /2 yr old starts off in her own bed and at some point in the night gets into my bed.

I love the snuggles, and I only notice that she's in my bed when I wake to attend to the baby. She just slips in as quiet as anything, and is very still and quiet in her sleep.

So we all get good sleep with her in our bed. But I feel like I should put an end to it so I don't end up with a 10 yr old in my bed. Even though I don't really think that's what will happen and even if I made her stay in own bed generally speaking, it would never be a total ban. In that if she was sick/ frightened etc that I would absolutely expect her to come get into our bed.

So just curious at what age you stopped or plan to stop. What your reasons were, and if it was your choice or if your LO just stopped bedsharing on their own.

CalinsBride · July 2012

We moved DS to his big boy bed when he was around 2. We were in a double bed at the time and there was just not enough room for all of us. He was having a hard time getting comfortable, and we could tell he needed more space. Moving him to his own bed was no problem at all. We put him to sleep, gave him a new elmo stuffed animal and a sippy of water, and he slept through the night and that was it.

mkflower3000 · July 2012

I think I'd like to let DD have her own room by the time that she's about 1, but that might just be me talking now! My parents still bedshare with my 9 year old brother, so I definitely don't want it to get too far :-/ He only JUST started sleeping on his own without them (as in, before he wouldn't go to sleep unless someone went with him, so they would never get normal adult time in the evenings).

nosoup4u · July 2012

DS1 moved into his own bed around 24 months, and never looked back. He has slept with us a few times since (when we're traveling, or if he's sick), but he prefers sleeping in his own bed, and has since he moved out. DS2 has his own bed in our room, but he seems to sleep better near us after about halfway through the night, so I suspect he'll want to co-sleep a lot longer (he's 21 months right now, and I'm *still* trying to night wean him, ugh).

Anyhoo, I wouldn't worry too much about it. 2.5 is still really little, and I'm sure she'll become a more independent sleeper the older she gets. If it really bothers you, maybe you could make her a little floor bed/nest right next to the big bed, so she can still be near you, but not in bed with you.

cecilyandgautam · July 2012

We mostly stopped when my daughter started sleeping worse in our bed than on her own, which meant all of us got less sleep together than apart. For us, that meant around 5 months. It's not strict - she starts out in her crib and most nights stays there, but a couple times a week, she wakes up in our bed because I didn't put her back after nursing. No biggy IMO.

If you don't mind her occasionally slipping in, I'd probably let it go on. For me, it's about how to get the best sleep possible. I'd be fine with my daughter still in our bed if she didn't kick me so often - with another baby, may cosleeping will go on longer, maybe shorter, just depends on how well they sleep with us vs on their own.

00jennifer00 · July 2012

We've kept LO in our bed until 2 1/2 for our first, 2 (on her bday, she was SO excited) with our second, 3 for our third, and probably 2-2 1/2 for our fourth. We'll see how she does. My third still gets in bed almost every night, and I've been putting him back in his bed. My second got in bed for a while too, but she's fine now at almost 6. We kept the oldest two in the room with us until they were 8 and 5. Now they share a room, and I think when my 3yo turns 4, we'll move him in with them so it's just my 1yo (she'll be 2 then) with us and the new baby. I really liked the security of having everyone sleeping in the same room (for burglary, fire, etc).

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2012

We transitioned DS to his own bed at 20 months. It was kind of DH's call--he wanted it to end since at that point we had two kids in bed with us. Luckily DS was open to the transition. We talked it up that he was a big boy now, let him pick out his own bedding/new toy for his big boy bed and he ate it up. There were no tears involved with the transition. He had a period where he went through separation anxiety for a few months around his second birthday where he slept with us again and he does sleep with us on occasion when he's not feeling well, but otherwise he's in his own bed.

DD only slept with us until 12 months. She slept better on her own vs bedsharing so we made the switch.

Rdautenhahn · July 2012

I am so glad you posted this! My son is 10 months and I love the time together SO much, I just am trying to have a second so I worry about the day when I have to start moving him out

CountryMile · July 2012

DS is now 3 years old and we haven't given it much thought. I think if we decide to have another child we would start the transition early in my pregnancy, but for now we do not mind him in our bed.

Meg&Jesse · July 2012

We coslept full time until DS was about a year and then he went to a crib. He slept with us when he was sick or we were travelling. Then we moved him to a toddler bed around 3 maybe. There were times he would ask to sleep with us and we would let him. About 6 months ago we started allowing him to sleep with us on Friday nights as a special night. Sometimes it is more than that, but he generally does well with the Friday nights. I know things will change quite a bit when we have this baby, but we will somehow make the transition smooth...assuming we will have DH sleep with him in his bed or somehow make it work with all of us. Somedays I am very sad that these cosleeping days are coming to an end!

TiffanyBerry · July 2012

Eh, I'm not sure I'd worry about a 10yr old if it was just coming into bed at 6am for an hour before getting up for the day.

At 2yrs, we're still cosleeping, but she has her own matress on the floor next to our bed. I'm often down there with her after she first wakes MOTN. I don't know when we'll switch to her own room. I'd like to say around 3yrs old, but I'm not sure. Right now, when she wakes up, she doesn't automatically pop up and get out of bed looking for me (she did for a couple months when she was 18mo or so, and I really encouraged it, but she wakes from sleep slowly and not gracefully at all). I feel like we need to get to a point where she can wake up, understand where she is and what's going on and can get to our room (not far away, but she has to walk through the "living room") if she needs to. I'd hope that'd be at 3, but I just don't know.

I imagine that, in the fullness of time, much like partial night nursing, I'll have a rule that says "you have to stay in your room until Xam (unless it's an emergency)". So, she could come in for snuggles after, say, 6am, but not before. (Might even have a "and you must be out of our room by Xpm" sort of rule, so we're guaranteed some length of time without a child in our room.)

pepomntpat · July 2012

We stopped around 6 months because no one was sleeping anymore. I had no idea how much I would miss my little girl, but once she was in her crib she wouldn't sleep anywhere else. Now she will sometimes sleep in our bed after her early morning nursing session and other times she prefers to go back to her own bed. I like the flexibility and I don't see that changing much. I think you will find your child will want her own privacy at some point and that you will be able to explain your need for privacy at some point and it won't be a big deal that you have to plan for way in advance.

ByGrace22 · July 2012

Our 26 month old sleeps in our bed 100% still...he refuses to touch the mattress on the floor or the extra bed in DS1 room. He's justNot ready. Our 4yo jumps in bed with us 2-3 nights a week. It works for us. I will put more effort into some sort of transition for ds2in a few months as it gets closer to new baby time.

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