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January 2013 Moms
MelissaRae1525
member
S/O Godparents
MelissaRae1525
member
The godparents thread got me thinking. I am Protestant and SO is Catholic. My dad's family is Catholic but he converted to Presbyterian after he divorced his first wife. While discussing christening, SO told me his mom would want the baby christened in the Catholic church. I'm under the impression this means we are promising to raise our child in the Catholic faith, something I'm not ready to commit to.
Also, I thought that only Catholics could get married in a Catholic ceremony, or would a priest marry someone who isn't Catholic? I also heard this meant we'd have to promise to raise our children Catholic. He tells me none of this is true and that isn't a requirement for christening or marriage. SO isn't a regular church attender so I'm not sure how much he really knows. I'm finding it hard to get a definite answer online. If anyone has any experience, could you explain this to me?
Thank you if you finished this novel!
Jacob, 1/14/13
This discussion has been closed.
Re: S/O Godparents
""No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."
"On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered "Life will never be the same." Because there had never been anyone like you... ever in the world." ~ Nancy Tillman
I guess that's why the info from my dad's family in Chicago is different than the info I get here in Florida. Thank you!
ETA I meant to quote SPK926. I feel like a noob.
Exactly this.
In my area, this seems to be the norm: Typically to be married in a Catholic church at least one person needs to be a practicing Catholic. In order for a baby to be baptized in a Catholic church, one or both parents need to be practicing Catholics and it is expected you will raise your child in the Catholic faith. Also, at least one God parent usually has to be Catholic.
Again, this can vary so I would check with the priest at the church you are considering. It is your child though, so it is completely your call if you want your baby baptized Catholic or not.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
That's what I thought. I hope SO's mom doesn't hate me if I don't want to do it. The 1 godparent thing seems to be consistent though. Thanks!
She'll probably get over it. I was raised in a Catholic family but as I got older I explained why that faith was not what I personally believe. I researched different forms of Christianity because I believe all basic core Christian beliefs. DH was raised Lutheran and together we decided that is the religion that lines up most with our beliefs and what we believe the Bible says. We were married in a Lutheran church and our child will be baptized in one as well. At first my mom was incredibly upset, but she got over it.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
When I talk with SO, we believe the same basic things, and even he doesn't agree with some things in Catholicism. I hope we can find a church for us (although it might be hard for me because I compare everything to the church I've been going to my whole life.) I hope that she will just be happy that we would have the baby baptized in a Christian church. It doesn't seem like SO is too intent on raising the baby Catholic but he said his mom might upset. I guess I'll worry about it when we get there.
My friend just got married and her family is Catholic and she is not [she's left church in general] and her family wanted someone from the Catholic church to be at their ceremony and her old priest would not come. He couldn't be a part of their non Catholic wedding. They refused to get married in the Catholic church because they were not willing or able to make the commitment that they would raise their children Catholic.
At their church it was absolutely a requirement for them to go through like a couples counseling event & signing the paperwork that they would go to church & they would take their future children to a Catholic church. I do believe you're making a commitment to "God" if you christen your child in a faith.
I'm not religious but I do think it's important to respect what religion expects from you when you involve yourself with them. I wouldn't have my child christened as a Catholic if I wasn't interested in continuing their religious experience at the church.
That is why I want to know as much about it as possible. I am religious though not Catholic, and I don't know enough about it to promise to raise my kid that way. I would feel terrible making a promise I can't/am not willing to keep.
I'm actually a Christian, but prefer the term Christ Follower. I grew up in a completely Catholic area with most of my friends Catholics. What I've learned from them is to be married in a Catholic church both husband and wife must be Catholic. Same goes for baptisms patents and God parents most all be Catholic.
That being said we plan on doing a baby dedication at our church. Promising to raise our child with a education of God and Christ but allowing them to make the decision on their own when they are old enough. Does that make sense? Or just info overload?
This is what we do at my church. We have infant baptism and believer's baptism. Infant baptism is a promise that you make to God, your child and each other to raise them in a Christian environment, and the church promises to help raise your child in a covenant environment. It's not doing anything to "save" the child, they have to do that themselves. Believer's baptism is optional for someone who has never been baptized and wants to be. They stand up in front of the church and state their beliefs. I really want to do an infant baptism because to me it is more of a promise and not a sacrament.
Thank you everyone for your responses and letting me pick your brains! Sorry if this was too "religious-y", I was just curious.
Check our Catholic Answers forum: https://forums.catholic.com
It is true if your baptize your child you are promising to raise the child in the Catholic faith.
Birth is safe as life gets - Harriette Hartigan
Thank you!
DH and I were married in a Catholic church by a Priest before I had fully converted to becoming Catholic. However, we for have to promise to raise our children Catholic, which I have no issues with because I fully converted in April. But you are correct if you have your baby baptized in a Catholic church you are promising God and the church you will raise your baby in the Catholic church.
This is definitely a topic you and your SO need to do some soul searching on, and really discuss. Its for the two of you to decide not your parents.GL!
I didnt grow up catholic but did grow up in a christian church... What my pastor does is call all the new parents and their babies and those babies special family members up to the stage and each parent will do a little introduction of their families, then the Pastor will pray a prayer over each parent that they would be able to raise their child well and teach them the ways of the Lord so that as an adult they will not depart. He will also pray a prayer of dedication over the babies but ultimately because the child is unable to make a decision for him/herself the prayer is for the parents... Babtism is saved for the individual until they have made a decision for themselves on whom they will serve. This could be at any age, as long as the individual is old enough to understand that they are making a personal decision to follow Jesus.
The way the one person being Catholic rule was explained to me in my church, and we have a pretty liberal diocese, was to avoid people who wanted to get their children baptized or get married in the church because it was pretty and the pictures would be nice.
Our church had allowed people in the past to get married in the building if they weren't Catholic (obviously it wasn't a Catholic ceremony), but they could at least use the building. Then we built a new church in 2002, and it's absolutely beautiful, tons of natural light, amazing wood work, fieldstone, great for ceremonies because decor was already covered. The number of people who wanted to get married and baptized in our church sky rocketed, so they made the rule that at least one of the people getting married had to be Catholic and at least one of the parents or godparents had to be Catholic in order to get baptized.
It's tough that it's so different where ever you go. Two towns away it's a different diocese, and I know their answer would be completely different. We have a priest who supports gay marriage, and the next diocese over sends out videos to all families against same sex marriage.