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malcivar
member
Tantrums - and how to help
malcivar
member
Recently, there have been a lot of changes going on around Chris and I think they're affecting him adversely and it's manifesting itself in tantrums - LOTS of them.
First, there's a new baby (three months ago). Then they said he was 'graduating' his current program and instituted one meant to really challenge him since he was blowing through all the easier ones. Then the center changed school bus companies so instead of being on the bus for 1 hr on the way home, he's on for 1.5-2 hours (it's not too bad, he likes riding in cars). So his sleeping schedule is also thrown. He has an ABA therapist that comes to see him in the late afternoon and the sessions have been incredibly frustrating with Chris breaking down in screaming fits regularly. The therapist believes it's too many changes happening at once.
We've noticed that everything and nothing lead to whining and crying and tantrums.
I have no idea how to help him. There's very little we can do about any of these recent changes. We can't really tell his therapists to switch back to his easy program because that's not really helping him; can't get rid of the baby; and can't really do anything about the bus unfortunately.
The tantrums are starting to wear thin on DH who has taken on a lot of the responsibility of caring for him since I have the newborn (and we both work) so I've seen and heard him starting to lose his patience with Chris.
Any recommendations on what we can do to help ease these tantrums?
Thanks.
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Re: Tantrums - and how to help
Thanks so much auntie for the advice!
He gets 2 sessions of ABA a day. One in the morning and from what his therapists say - problem free. Minor frustration but nothing like the afternoon session. Up to now, if he'd had his full nap, he'd be fine but if his nap had been cut short for whatever reason, he'd be very fussy and frustrated during the afternoon session. With the bus ride being what it is now, he sleeps on the way home, but it's not the length of time he's used to (he's a long napper) and then doesn't sleep once he gets home. So by the time the afternoon therapist shows up - BOOM! He's spent and just doesn't want to work.
When DS2 was born, I was very wary of Chris feeling left out so I've always made it a point to have "Christopher time" where I'm focused on him. If something comes up with DS2, then daddy deals with it. I do notice he responds a bit more to me. If I ask him to do something, he's more prone to do it. If his dad asks him, he doesn't and quickly starts fussing and ultimately crying.
I am definitely easier on him that DH is I'll admit, but even when I get stern with him he doesn't have the kind of meltdown he has when his dad does it. I've tried telling DH to maybe be a bit softer in his manner and not yell but it's in one ear and out the other. I don't interfere when he's doing it because I also don't want Chris to think that if he can't get something from his dad, he can come to mom. Know what I mean?
I like the idea of social stories and different ways to prepare him for new things. I think up to now we've been spoiled in that he's pretty cool when it comes to doing new things and transitioning into a new activity but maybe we need to slow down a little and remember that new things aren't always easy for him. We're going to Syracuse next week and that'll be a bunch of ppl he doesn't see all the time and new activities. Maybe I'll pull up some pictures to show him and that way they won't seem like strangers to him. And he loves the zoo (and we're going to the zoo) so maybe I'll start prepping him for that.
Oh, what's an FBA? I'm guessing since I don't know what it is, we probably haven't had one done, but you're right - now that I think on it, there are a few common denominators of when he tantrums. I'll need to pay closer attention to what happens right before the tantrums happen to catch it.
{{hugs}}
thanks so much for helping us all. Seriously, there are times when I'm out and about with Chris that I just think to myself "what would auntie say here?"