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Natural Birth
Last minute nerves/What makes a birth natural? (long, sorry)
My birth experience with my first child was as far from natural as possible: I was induced with both Cervadil & Pitocin, had an epidural and IV pain meds, had my membranes ruptured by the doctor and then had a vacuum extraction. My recovery and my daughters recovery was long and painful.
My husband and I are both pretty crunchy, we are organic vegans, our daughter is organic vegetarian, the whole family practices yoga and meditation, we are a chemical free household, we co-sleep, extended breastfed, selective vaxed etc etc etc.
So, when I got pregnant this time, I wasn't at all surprised when my husband watched The Business of Being Born and started talking about natural birth being important to him and I readily agreed with him. We've done a lot to prepare, read books, practiced labor positions with the birthing ball and squat bar, done meditation/relaxation scripts etc.
Cut to last week, a friend of ours who has a tendency to brag was going on and on about her "natural birth" and afterwards I told my husband that it annoys me that she says that because she had an epidural. He shocked me by saying that he still considers medicated births natural births. I asked how he would feel about me getting an epi or pain meds & he said he didn't have any opinions on that & didn't feel it was up to him at all but that to him a natural birth is one that is initiated and progresses naturally, as my body and the baby are ready.
Ive surprised myself by how much relief I felt when he said that and how quickly I've lost my resolve to go med-free. I still fully intend to decline all but only totally medically necessary interventions (ie nothing to speed up or initiate labor unless there is good reason, not just its taking a long time or baby is measuring big). I still want to use all the techniques we have practiced before getting pain meds and I hope to go completely but now that I know that my husband doesn't care if I get them, I feel like I might end up medicated.
I am normally not at all that type of woman and I'm kind of angry with myself for feeling like knowing he wouldn't be disappointed in me gives me the go ahead to scrap a huge part of my birth plan. Anyway, thanks if anyone is still reading, I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get from this post, maybe just any of your opinions on what makes a birth natural, how your husband felt about your birth plan and how it affected your resolve, how you stayed strong during a hospital birth knowing an epi was a call button away, etc.
Thanks ladies!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Last minute nerves/What makes a birth natural? (long, sorry)
I'm a FTM, so take this with a grain of salt...
I would not consider a birth that used an epidural a natural birth. I would consider it a vaginal birth, but not natural. I would consider the use of pitocin without an epidural to be a natural birth (although not ideal), so I guess I consider the use of pain medication during labor to be the line for me.
I think that it is great that she delivered vaginally, but saying she had a natural birth is a bit of a stretch. It is like saying you ran a marathon when you actually ran a half marathon. Leaving out the details is kind of a lie.
You should go for a truly natural birth if it is what YOU want. It seems like your husband's opinion is guiding your own- You should really sit down and decide what you want and need out of this birthing experience.
I have completely scrapped the term natural when it comes to giving birth. It's too much of a loaded term at this point. My terms of choice are "vaginal birth", "c-section or surgical birth", "med-free birth", and "limited interventions". Trying to make comparisons of who worked harder/did more etc... just doesn't make sense and adds to the mommy wars. Some women's med free births are easier than others medicated deliveries. Our bodies and experiences are all different and valid. The key is to find the right delivery for you and your family. You can guess at part of that before hand, but it's only when it all comes together that you truly know what the right birth is for you and your baby.
About the marathon comparison, that gets a bit of an eye roll from me! Who cares if she ran a marathon or half a marathon and how the heck could anyone who wasn't there know? I had an epidural with my first after I had been in labor for over 24 hours (of back labor if anyone cares!). I ran the damn marathon and have a toddler now to prove it. It's statements like the marathon one that give med-free birthing mama's a bad name as sanctimonious jerks. I hope to go med free this time if interventions are not required, but can we drop the whole judgement part of it already?
Having had a Pitocin aided birth, I can tell you it is not natural at all. For one, it stifles your body's natural production of oxytocin and completely disrupts your brain's natural chemical processes. I think a lot of women who have never given birth tend to think like you though.
I wasn't comparing labor itself to a marathon. I was stating that someone could purposely give the wrong impression by leaving out details. Maybe you should work on your reading comprehension before you get all up in arms about something that wasn't said.
Nope, 100% understood what you said. I'm saying that it doesn't (or at least shouldn't) matter to anyone if a woman received medication while she's in labor. What "wrong impression" are you thinking of that she's giving? She went into labor, she gave birth, she now has a baby. If she had an epidural or not is not anyone's business but her own. It's the attitude of "Well... you didn't REALLY work as hard as so and so did because YOU had an epidural. Let's be honest here." What I'm saying is, you don't know anything because you weren't there, and it's none of your business. Period. The end. What "impression" she gives is up to her and shouldn't concern you.
BTW... many women consider a "natural" birth to be a vaginal one. If it was augmented with pitocin or they selected medications for pain management doesn't enter the picture. I am a HUGE supporter of med free birth. I think that women's bodies are amazing and designed to be able to deliver babies without intervention the majority of the time. But I'm really fed up with the superior attitude that some people have regarding it. Let's put the mommy wars aside and support each other.
You honestly do come off awfully judgey and sanctimonious for someone who has never given birth at all. And your response to me made it seem like you hadn't read my whole post, which is understandable given the length but...
The point is that she is the one sharing the information freely and is not being clear. I don't really care what anyone does or doesn't do in their labor, but if they want to tell people all about it they should probably be clear about it. I think that that is a fair statement and I don't understand why you find it so controversial. If it isn't anyone's business she shouldn't tell people about it.
It sounds like you have personal issues with this topic and just want to be upset about something. I have no idea how you got any of that from my comparison, but you are truly talented. I never projected a 'superior attitude' about it- so please stop projecting your feelings and stereotypes about NB people onto me.
Wow. I did read your whole post. I was clear that I was a FTM and to take it with a grain of salt, it was only my opinion which you asked for. Apparently I am not allowed to have an opinion on this board. Noted.
"Natural Birth' is sort of a meaningless term in my mind because it can pretty much mean anything. For some it means any birth that doesn't end on an operating table is natural. Although I know some c/s mamas cringe when they hear that term because what does that make their birth? Unnatural? And I think the point is a valid one, which is why I really don't like the term in the first place. Then there's the other end of the spectrum which would say a birth that involves any type of intervention is not natural. For example my MW broke my bag of water right before DD's head was crowning. A hard core natural birth purest could probably argue that I did not have a natural birth because of that single intervention. What I'm trying to get at is that these labels are pointless. Plan for the birth you want, not the label.
My DH was certainly supportive and I think really hoped I would go med-free. His mother had both of her sons like that and I think in his mind that was the way to go. To be quite honest with you, while I value DH's opinion, I was not terribly concerned with what he had in mind for labor and delivery. Maybe this would sound harsh to some, because it is his baby too, but I was the one who was going to have to bring our baby into the world and at the end of the day, it wasn't his decision to make. In fact a couple of weeks before I went into labor I told him, "If I ask for the epi don't try to talk me out of it!" I knew I was going to give it my all, but I would be the one to determine what was best.
I think one of the biggest factors in avoiding any intervention not just an epi is staying home until pretty late in the game. I mean even my MWs told me that if I wanted a med-free birth I shouldn't show up until close to the end. Other important factor would be having a health care provider that is supportive and a partner that has really spent some time researching natural forms of pain relief. You might also look into hiring a doula.
Some woman use natural birth instead of saying vaginal birth. It sounds like that is what your friend means. That is not a historically correct application of the phrase, but yet it happens aplently. The phrase natural birth is an old phrase coined by Grantly D1ck-Read in the early/mid 1900s and means an unmedicated, low-intervention vaginal birth. The book Childbirth Without Fear is the book that explains his orginal definition of natural childbirth.
In today's world, I think it is phrase that is past its time. I prefer things like med-free birth or low-intervention birth. For births that start off as "natural" but end up needing medically beneficial selective interventions, I like the term thoughtful-intervention birth.
More Green For Less Green
Yep, it sounds like your friend was saying "natural" instead of "vaginal" birth.
My DH was onboard with me going med-free, but I would have attempted it no matter what his opinion. I have family members who've gone med-fee, and after researching on my own, it seemed like the best option.
As for laboring while knowing an epidural was available, I dunno. I think I'm pretty freaked out about the idea of an epidural (I know it's safe, and a valid option), and I'm stubborn, so laboring in the hospital without one was okay. But! I spent most of my second labor at home, and it was much more pleasant, and easier to deal with than my first (I got stuck at the hospital in early labor, and spent 12+ hours laboring there.)
ETA: I just wanted to add, it's ok to be a hippie and still get an epidural. Giving birth is hard work, no matter how it happened!
And also, remind yourself that this pregnancy is different, and the labor for it will be different, too (especially if it's not an induced labor). hth
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
1) To me a natural birth means med-free/intervention free. But I agree with pp that it's not a great term because so many people interpret it differently.
2) DH was very pro epidurals until he heard about the risk involved. Then he was anti them. But the whole time he was of the opinion that it's your labour, do what you want.
His opinion didn't really affect me. He's very keen to take pain relief for any ache and pain where as I seldom do. So it's just a different approach we have to pain meds.
3) I worked with a midwife who was very pro med free and supportive of my birth plan. i never really consider the epidural an option. I made use of other pain relief ideas like massage and hot water.
Lastly...I don't think you should worry about how your birth experience is labelled, but rather focus on what you want out of your birth experience and why.
To me knowing WHY I didn't want an epidural made it easy to dismiss it as an option on the day. If I was just avoiding an epi because I thought I SHOULD, or someone else might judge me then maybe I would have opted for it.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I love this! Thanks for sharing it!
DH's friends had a baby a couple months ago and he told me that they had a natural birth. Come to find out, for them, that meant it was a vaginal birth, not a c-section. The mom had pitocin, an epi, other pain meds, etc.
When I share what type of birth we will prepare to have, I call it a pain-med-free, vaginal birth. :: shrug ::
Before giving birth I had planned a "natural" birth. To me this meant no interventions at all, no pain meds, etc. I was going to go to a birth center and have only a midwife (no OB).
What actually happened was I went 2 weeks OD and had to be induced with both Cervadil (didn't work) then pitocin. I was at the hospital, and from the beginning was strapped to monitors and an IV. I have a hard time calling my birth experience "natural birth" despite the fact that I did not have pain medication and did not have suction/assistance or a doctor present. So I usually say "I planned a natural birth (Details), and it didn't work out". If somebody asks if I had an epi/pain relief, I say no.
Also, I think prior to labor I was quite naive. Even if I HAD been in the birth center I doubt it would have been the wonderful experience I expected. That sh!t hurts! Big time! I now fear my next labor quite a bit, lol. I do hope next time to have an actual "natural birth", or at least attempt it as I'm interested in seeing what a normal labor feels like.
oh and I think people maybe say "naturally" instead of "vaginally" because well it's a bit weird to be going around saying VAGINALLY in public, lol.
When I think natural I think med-free vaginal birth, (a c/s although sometimes necessary would indeed be considered un-natural because that is not how babies are naturally born, but I dont think there is any shame in that either) I chose to have both of my children naturally because thats what was in the best interest of me and my babies.
That being said, if a mother chooses either by her own free will or by necessity that, she needs meds and/or a c/s then that is the best possible decision for her. And I support her.
Everyones body is different, everyone reacts to labor differently and everyone has a different pain threshold and at some point during labor YOU WANT RELIEF so I don't blame a woman for saying ok in order to get through this I need an epi because she is doing the best that SHE can.
I agree with others who have said that you should try to figure out what birth you want and then decide how best to get there. Like if your main goal is to avoid the vacuum like you had last time or to avoid tearing badly, I think it would be a good goal to avoid an epidural so you can push in positions that are more effective than the standard "on the back", such as squatting or on hands and knees.
To me, the point of going med-free was not be to make someone else proud, but to reduce the chance that I would need additional interventions like pitocin, vacuum/forceps, or a c-section.
In any case, the relaxation techniques you learned will come in handy because even putting off an epidural means that you are less likely to have your progress stall and need pitocin. So you could decide that you have a goal of being 5 or 7 or ever how many centimeters dilated before getting any pain meds to improve your chances of fewer additional interventions. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
DS, May 2011
I think people need to stop labeling and categorizing births. The terms mean different things to everyone, so it just seems.....pointless.
That said, I will say that I've noticed my mom and grandmother's generation tend to use the term "natural birth" when referring to vaginal birth (vs. c/s). On the other hand, more people in my generation seem to use "natural birth" to refer to a PAIN med free birth.
I'm in this camp.
Whenever this discussion comes up, it's like the tip of the mom-wars. Who went natural? Who had drugs? Who scheduled a c-section. Next up: breastfeeding!
Splitting hairs over the terminology someone uses to describe their own birth experience belittles anyone who engages in it.
Myself, "med-free birth" and "natural birth" aren't quite synonymous. Med-free is just that--free of drugs. Natural, on the other hand, I have a more fluid view on. If my body was allowed to begin the birthing process on its own, and allowed to progress and deliver on its own, then I'd call it a natural birth, even if I took advantage of pain meds. To me, pain meds are simply another form of pain management.
That's why I don't like using the two terms interchangeably.
Eh, not necessarily. I don't. I just prefer things black-and-white as opposed to having a lot of gray area, and fortunately/unfortunately, that preference extends to my verbiage as well. Which is why I usually wind up re-reading a response after posting it, and then feel the need to go back and edit it to clarify my meaning... (yes, I'm very much one of those people who sees god in the details, and not the devil! lol)