If cervical exam is that bad, can I handle natural childbirth?!?!

Toni79 · July 2012

Yesterday I had a MW appointment (40w1D). This is the 3rd week I've had a cervical exam. And HOLY COW are they uncomfortable! I was only 1 cm yesterday, and my cervix is starting to get soft. But she also commented on how "high up" it was. And I believe her, because she really had to reach!

I told myself to relax, but I seriously could not help tensing up. Literally, my whole body tensed up so much that my butt was lifted off the table. My MW told me that this would be a good time to practice my breathing techniques. That reminder helped me relax enough for my butt to drop back onto the table. But I'm pretty sure I was still pretty tense.

All I can think about is if I have that kind of reaction to a cervical exam, am I going to be able to handle a natural child birth?

DH keeps reminding me that having someone "un-naturally" shove thier fingers up IN you is completely differant that the baby naturally coming OUT.

I've done my readings, taken Bradley Classes, praticed, prepaired, etc. But now that I'm this close, I'm getting nervious. Espchally after that horrible cervical exam yesterday!!!

lauriedupuis · July 2012

Why are you having cervical exams?

bandwife · July 2012

You can handle it. When you're in labour there are hormones and chemicals helping you manage the pain.

If there isn't a strong reason for cervical checks don't get them. I never had a cervical exam in my last pregnancy until I was fully dilated. Had DS an hour later. I plan on not getting cervical exams unless medically necessary with this pregnancy.

That is one thing that continues to annoy me on TB - all the posts about cervical exams and dilation at X weeks and what does it mean. It means NOTHING. You can go from 0 to having a baby in a few hours.

The only reason I would get a cervical exam while not in labor is if I had to be induced.

Try and relax and get your mind off of 'when will I go into labor' thoughts.

Toni79 · July 2012

lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

My MW gives me the option. I know there are pros and cons. I decided I wanted one to know where I stand. Not just how much I've dialated, but also if its hard/soft or effaced at all.

We've reviwed my birth plan and I do want "minimal cervical exams". She said she likes to do one when I'm admitted (hospital birth) and maybe 1-2 others (depending). So 2-3 cervical exams total might seem like a lot to those who don't plan on having any. But it is far far better than before I switched to a MF - my old OB wanted to give me them ever 2 hours that I was in the hospital. So depending on how long I'm in the hospital, that could have been 10+ exams.

I can't be the only one whose had a cervical exam before labor???

judahsmommy1 · July 2012

Toni79:
lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

My MW gives me the option. I know there are pros and cons. I decided I wanted one to know where I stand. Not just how much I've dialated, but also if its hard/soft or effaced at all.

We've reviwed my birth plan and I do want "minimal cervical exams". She said she likes to do one when I'm admitted (hospital birth) and maybe 1-2 others (depending). So 2-3 cervical exams total might seem like a lot to those who don't plan on having any. But it is far far better than before I switched to a MF - my old OB wanted to give me them ever 2 hours that I was in the hospital. So depending on how long I'm in the hospital, that could have been 10+ exams.

I can't be the only one whose had a cervical exam before labor???

No you're not the only one. I had my first one last week at 36 weeks. My OB gave me the option and I decided to have her check. We're looking at the possibility of induction over the next several weeks because of high blood pressure (no pre-e yet, but I'm kind of expecting it). I wanted to know how serious to get with nipple stimulation, sex, and EPO.

There are a lot of people who are down on cervical exams and they have every right not to get them if they don't want them. You make the decision that you're comfortable with. I seriously rolled my eyes at the person who only asked you why you were getting the exams. Why does she care and why does it matter? You'd think you were talking about getting drunk on a nightly basis.

As for your original question, your husband is absolutely right. Also, there's a lot more build up when it comes to a labor contraction. With a cervical exam her finger is there putting pressure on your cervix all at once and it's a sharp pain. With a labor contraction you have warning and a gradual build in intensity where you can intentionally breathe and relax your body. It's hard work, but it's doable.

Klikina · July 2012

With my first, I had one at 38 weeks, didn't have one at 39, and was planning to have one at 40 except that I'd had him the day before. If they are really hurting you, don't get them again until you go into labor. They are not the most pleasant thing and pp's are right, they don't tell you anything. Labor hurts in a different way than cervical exams do, but your DH is right. Another tip: when you are in labor, make sure you pee before you have an exam so it hurts less. I learned that really quick!

robyn2201 · July 2012

Toni79:

I can't be the only one whose had a cervical exam before labor???

No you aren't.

I swore up and down I wasn't going to get any before I was in labor and then when my OB offered, my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed. I knew they meant nothing but still I went ahead with it.

I had one at 37 weeks and another at 38. Both times I was closed up tight and super high. My OB said, you will definitely be pregnant next week. Even though I knew it meant nothing, I was still very disappointed that I hadn't made any "progress". Little did I know that 2 days after my 38 week appointment, my water would break and DD would arrive 9 1/2 hours later!

I won't be getting any this time around! Don't want the disappointment again.

HeiferBaby · July 2012

lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

Why do you care why she is getting checked? Her body her choice. Im a control freak and can not stand not knowing something. If an exam is offered Im ripping off my pants, period.

OP I'm right there with you. Sometimes I have horrible cramps because of gas or needing to poop and I think how in the world can I have a baby med free??? Im really at a loss as to wth I'm going to do too.

ridesbuttons · July 2012

bandwife:

That is one thing that continues to annoy me on TB - all the posts about cervical exams and dilation at X weeks and what does it mean. It means NOTHING. You can go from 0 to having a baby in a few hours.

The irony of this statement of course is that the only way we 'know' this is through getting cervical checks.

To the OP: it is totally different getting a cervical check and having a baby. Apples and oranges. You'll manage.

I remember my first post-baby pap going in thinking that it would be a walk in the park. It was at least as uncomfortable as before I had kids, maybe even more so.

*shrug*

tokenhoser · July 2012

I think asking why you've done something 3 times when it hurt the first one is a valid question. Yes, it's up to you to decide if it's something you want done... but if you know you've got a MW that's rough you're kind of crazy to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. Exams and pap smears are an art, and frankly, some people aren't very good at it.

Your husband is right: it's totally different. Not at all related.

Try to have confidence in your preparations and your body. You can do this.

ncjulia12 · July 2012

You'll be fine. I was too curious to review my cervical exams even though they hurt like he!! every time. During my natural labor, I whined and told my ob when he checked me, "you're hurting me worse than the contractions!" Surprisingly, when I was fully dilated and it felt like he had his entire hand up there, it didn't hurt at all. You'll do great! Good luck!

ncjulia12 · July 2012

ncjulia12:
You'll be fine. I was too curious to review my cervical exams even though they hurt like he!! every time. During my natural labor, I whined and told my ob when he checked me, "you're hurting me worse than the contractions!" Surprisingly, when I was fully dilated and it felt like he had his entire hand up there, it didn't hurt at all. You'll do great! Good luck!

Tefuse, not review, lol- couldn't edit on iPhone.

nosoup4u · July 2012

lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

Ha. So true.

Listen to your DH -labor is totally different than a cervical exam, no question. Seriously consider refusing them from here on out if they hurt that mucb. I hate pap smears when I'm not pg, but cervical exams during my labors weren't too bad, in all honesty.

oliversmommy32912 · July 2012

It's totally different. The cervical checks I had in the hospital hurt way worse than the contractions.

BakerMommy · July 2012

Cervical exams are done TO you; labor is something your body DOES. Totally different scenarios--you can do it!

Jcrab · July 2012

With both my pregnancies I had a total of one cervical exam and that was pre labor because I was contracting a lot at 32 weeks. I breathed through it, relaxed my muscles and told myself it wouldn't be bad and it really wasn't. My NBAC wasn't truly painful either, thanks to hypnobirthing / trusting my body / and a safe environment (home). Reading Ina May Gaskin's books may help. You can do it! The natural endorphins help so much, it was intense but not really painful. GL!

cwm11985 · July 2012

You CAN do it! Don't let the pain of an internal sway your feelings about going med-free... the pain is totally different and think of it this way: at the end of an internal check you get nothing...at the end of labor you get a BABY!!!

lauriedupuis · July 2012

HeiferBaby:
lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

Why do you care why she is getting checked? Her body her choice. Im a control freak and can not stand not knowing something. If an exam is offered Im ripping off my pants, period.

OP I'm right there with you. Sometimes I have horrible cramps because of gas or needing to poop and I think how in the world can I have a baby med free??? Im really at a loss as to wth I'm going to do too.

It was a simple question. If they are that uncomfortable and there is good evidence that shows they really don't tell you much and have a huge variance of accuracy, why continue to do it? I'm not providing an opinion on whether she should or not, that's none of my business. It simply was meant to provoke a little thought.

It's also a questions since the OP mentioned studying the Bradley Method which highly discourages cervical checks.

RMama2012 · July 2012

I thought the same exact thing when I had a check at 4cm. So 0-4cm (approx 15 hrs) seemed easier than the 60 second cervical check! Your DH is 100% correct. D on't stress that part of it!

Toni79 · July 2012

Thanks ladies for all your kind words. I know in my heart that they are completly differant. I know my DH was right, I just needed to hear it from some ladies who have gone through it (because really what does he know - lol).

I know I can have the birth I want! And I have a super supportive DH who is going to remind me of this throughout L&D! I'm just starting to get a little anxious while I wait. But I'm staying busy and resting alot, which is helping me keep my mind off things.

Toni79 · July 2012

lauriedupuis:
HeiferBaby:

lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

Why do you care why she is getting checked? Her body her choice. Im a control freak and can not stand not knowing something. If an exam is offered Im ripping off my pants, period.

OP I'm right there with you. Sometimes I have horrible cramps because of gas or needing to poop and I think how in the world can I have a baby med free??? Im really at a loss as to wth I'm going to do too.

It was a simple question. If they are that uncomfortable and there is good evidence that shows they really don't tell you much and have a huge variance of accuracy, why continue to do it? I'm not providing an opinion on whether she should or not, that's none of my business. It simply was meant to provoke a little thought.

It's also a questions since the OP mentioned studying the Bradley Method which highly discourages cervical checks.

No worries lauriedupuis. It is a good thought provoking question. And I have put alot of thought into it before agreeing to have them done. I know they are not 100% accurate and don't really give you a 100% assesment of when you'll go into labor. But they do give me a "snap shot" of where I am at that moment. And I take that with a grain of salt. I know it could be another week before I go into labor or I could go into labor later that day. I don't let the results of the exam stress me. I just want to know where I stand at that moment in time. Maybe I'm a control freak too like the PP!

I know that the Bradley Method says to limit cervical exams. But the Bradley Method also pushes Home Births (something I am not comfortable with at this time). I think with any birthing technique, you have to take from it what works for you and what you are comfortable with. Bradley, Lamaze, Hypnobirthing . . . none of them are the "Bible of Natural Childbirth" that must be followed word for word. But they all bring sometihng to the table. And it is up to us to determine what works for us.

RayRay007 · July 2012

Toni79:

DH keeps reminding me that having someone "un-naturally" shove thier fingers up IN you is completely differant that the baby naturally coming OUT.

This.

judahsmommy1 · July 2012

Toni79:
lauriedupuis:
HeiferBaby:

lauriedupuis:
Why are you having cervical exams?

Why do you care why she is getting checked? Her body her choice. Im a control freak and can not stand not knowing something. If an exam is offered Im ripping off my pants, period.

OP I'm right there with you. Sometimes I have horrible cramps because of gas or needing to poop and I think how in the world can I have a baby med free??? Im really at a loss as to wth I'm going to do too.

It was a simple question. If they are that uncomfortable and there is good evidence that shows they really don't tell you much and have a huge variance of accuracy, why continue to do it? I'm not providing an opinion on whether she should or not, that's none of my business. It simply was meant to provoke a little thought.

It's also a questions since the OP mentioned studying the Bradley Method which highly discourages cervical checks.

No worries lauriedupuis. It is a good thought provoking question. And I have put alot of thought into it before agreeing to have them done. I know they are not 100% accurate and don't really give you a 100% assesment of when you'll go into labor. But they do give me a "snap shot" of where I am at that moment. And I take that with a grain of salt. I know it could be another week before I go into labor or I could go into labor later that day. I don't let the results of the exam stress me. I just want to know where I stand at that moment in time. Maybe I'm a control freak too like the PP!

I know that the Bradley Method says to limit cervical exams. But the Bradley Method also pushes Home Births (something I am not comfortable with at this time). I think with any birthing technique, you have to take from it what works for you and what you are comfortable with. Bradley, Lamaze, Hypnobirthing . . . none of them are the "Bible of Natural Childbirth" that must be followed word for word. But they all bring sometihng to the table. And it is up to us to determine what works for us.