starting out intro

ebwhit · July 2012

Hi ladies,

I just had my loss a little over 2 weeks ago but am already burning to start ttc again. I was 8w 4d when we lost the baby and at first I didn't know if I could do it again right away. My DH is still back and forth and I'm wondering how long you all waited before ttc again? I know I wasn't even 9 weeks but I found out super early and it seems like I was pregnant forever and starting over again is so depressing. I can't stop thinking about where we would be if things had gone right....who we would be telling and the plans we'd be making for our cuddly winter baby...it's all too much!

ebwhit · July 2012

wickedsugar:
I am sorry for your loss, what has your Dr said ? Almost everyone here waould say follow your Dr's orders.

The Blog also has a lot of great info, pls take the time to read it thru.

https://www.ttcalblog.blogspot.ca/p/for-newbies_22.html

My doctor says that we can start trying again after I've had a normal cycle. I'm more worried about whether or not I'm ready emotionally and if others chose to wait longer after their losses than they had to because they were so traumatized or for other reasons

ebwhit · July 2012

wickedsugar:
ebwhit:
wickedsugar:

I am sorry for your loss, what has your Dr said ? Almost everyone here waould say follow your Dr's orders.

The Blog also has a lot of great info, pls take the time to read it thru.

https://www.ttcalblog.blogspot.ca/p/for-newbies_22.html

My doctor says that we can start trying again after I've had a normal cycle. I'm more worried about whether or not I'm ready emotionally and if others chose to wait longer after their losses than they had to because they were so traumatized or for other reasons

Just because your Dr says you can start trying then, doesn't mean you have too , you can always take a few extra, until you feek ready. I was personally told 3 cycles due to having a a D&C and to heal emotionally.

Right, I know we dont have to start right away. I just keep going back and forth about whether or not I feel ready. Sometimes I'm all "let's do this!" and other times I'm filled with anxiety and fear. I'm sure a lot of other ladies on this board went through the same thing so I was just curious about what the process of deciding to ttc again was like for other women. I miscarried naturally so I'm not sure if that's why the doctor said one healthy cycle. I should ask about that; I definitely want to make sure my body is ready.

mgh2008 · July 2012

I am very sorry for your loss. I think everything you are feeling is completely normal. I know I go from feeling scared to try again b/c of what may happen, and then desperate to be pg again immediately. It's a personal choice you and your dh have to make. I also know what you mean about those 9 weeks feeling like forever. ((hugs))

larivierek · July 2012

Hi and welcome. I'm so very sorry for your loss. This is pretty new to me too, and I have a lot of the same back and forth going on with my emotions. However, as one previous TTCALer said to me, "you'll know you're ready when the desire to have another baby overcomes your fear."

I know I desire another baby more than I am afraid. Even so, I will never not feel afraid. The m/c has changed me forever, and I know the fear will always linger, even until I hold that rainbow baby in my arms. But I'm willing to take on that fear if it means I might get that privilege.

Of course, as pp's said, it is a very personal decision. Take your time making it.

Smash2009 · July 2012

mgh2008:
I am very sorry for your loss. I think everything you are feeling is completely normal. I know I go from feeling scared to try again b/c of what may happen, and then desperate to be pg again immediately. It's a personal choice you and your dh have to make. I also know what you mean about those 9 weeks feeling like forever. ((hugs))

All of this. I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but welcome to this very supportive board ((hugs))

pinktrojanbride120107 · July 2012

Previous posters have said it best, but I wanted to welcome you to the board. Whether you decide to TTA or TTC, this board is a great place to be. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Rachaeleigh · July 2012

Sorry for your loss. As pp said, always follow drs orders. I know what you mean though, DH and I had to only wait 3 months and it seemed like forever. Welcome to the board.

lindsayanne14 · July 2012

So sorry for your loss and welcome to the board. To echo PP, everyone has their reasons why they move forward TTC or decide to TTA. For me, I am motivated by not only my desire to have a baby but also my age. I am 33 and will be 34 in January, DH and I would love to have more than 1 child so we are trying again right away. Allow yourself the time you need and move forward when both of you are ready! Good luck!

rlajambe · July 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

It's perfectly natural to feel conflicted emotionally about when to TTC again. I think you'll know when you're truly ready. Take all the time you need to heal.

For me, I think it was when I could see a random baby on the street and think "I want one", instead of just feeling pain. There's a tipping point where your desire to get pg again outweighs the fear and the emotional pain.

ravenclaw1 · July 2012

we're in your shoes right now, too. I know both DH and I are good to go ASAP, we've had several conversations about it, and I really feel good about it. I know it won't be easy, but I just know it's the right move for us.

I hope you guys can come to a good decision together that's good for you

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