March 2013 Moms

Need your advice/ T&P

Hi ladies, I need your advice for a tragic situation involving my best friend. She gave birth on Monday to her 2nd child via c-section. On Tuesday, she lost her husband to a tragic car accident, he was on the way to the hospital and lost control of his car. She is still in the hospital recovering from her surgery. I just don't even know where to start, and what I could possibly say/do to help her. I know some of you have been through extremely difficult situations before, and I'm hoping I could glean some advice. I live in California and she is in Pennsylvania. Thank you so much for your help.
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Re: Need your advice/ T&P

  • Oh, what a hard situation.  I don't know what to tell you.  But my T&Ps go out to the family.

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  • I would mail her a hand written note that she can read in her own time, and when she gets home, I would order a meal or groceries or something to be delivered to her house.  When people are in the midst of a horrible tragedy like this, the basic functions like preparing meals kind of go out the window.  This would be a gesture that will not only comfort her but also be of a lot of help.  Another option would be to get in touch with her family or friends that are closer geographically and ask what you can do to help her out.  If they are seeing her often, they will know best what she needs at the moment.
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  • I should add that I'm terribly sorry to hear about your friend's loss, and I hope that with your help she makes it through this incredibly difficult time.
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  • What an awful situation. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's loss. I agree with PP about meals/groceries being delivered. I guess if it were me I'd just try to be there for my friend as much as possible. T&P to everyone involved!
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  • Oh. My. God. I don't even know what to say about this. My heart goes out to your friend. If I lived closer to Pennsylvania I would make a trip to visit her myself. Please call her or write to her and let her know that she has a bunch of friends here. If she needs anything you can relay to us and I'm sure some of us would send her things that she needs - I certainly will!!!!
  • I don't even know where to begin with how sorry I am that your friend is going through such a tremendous tragedy.  I agree that you should try to get food delivered to her.  Eating is probably the last thing on her mind, but she'll need to be sure she's doing it.  Hopefully she has friends and family near her that will be able to help her with the baby while she takes time to grieve.
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  • Thank you so much, everyone. I especially appreciate all your thoughts and well wishes. Her husband was a good friend of mine as well and I am grieving for him as well as agonizing over how to help my best friend. I will be looking into some food delivery services/gift cards, etc. What a great idea! And I am hoping in the next couple weeks, after the dust settles, I can go and be with her in person to take care of her and her children. I have learned that it will be a private, family-only service, and I am respecting her need for space right now.
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  • ElocinElocin member
    How awful. I am so sorry for your loss and of course, the loss your friend is enduring. Many thoughts with her & you. I hope you are able to get out to see her in the next few months. And I do hope her local network of friends and family is very strong.
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  • Forgot to ask earlier, what part of PA is she in?
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  • She lives in Troy, about 45 min north of Williamsport, near the NY line.
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  • image~pennstatebride~:
    She lives in Troy, about 45 min north of Williamsport, near the NY line.

     

    Ah.  If I lived closer, I'd offer to help you get stuff to her.

     

    (Edit: I live in Pittsburgh, to clarify.  Which feels like a million miles from anything, ugh.)

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