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December 2012 Moms
peacelove&mama
member
Moms of 2 or more
peacelove&mama
member
When pregnant with number 3 (or 4, or 5, or whatever), did you ever just feel totally overwhelmed, like why am I doing this, I can't handle this? That's how I'm feeling lately and I just feel like such a bad mom for it. I'm sure a lot of it is just my hormones, but I'm so stressed out, I feel like a broken record, and some days I honestly just want to lock myself in my room and lay in bed all day because I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Im not sure what the deal with the kids is (unless it's just me?)... We have a day to day routine that barely ever changes, and a chore board in the kitchen, but suddenly they can't even seem to remember basic tasks like brushing their teeth after breakfast or feeding the dogs. Things that are done twice a day, every day. I have to tell them what to do every step of the way now, I feel like a drill sergeant. Could it have something to do with me being pregnant?
DH just keeps telling me to stop stressing about it, which just makes me feel worse. If he were the one staying home, he'd be in worse shape than me. I guess I just need to vent, I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm sure things will get better, but right now I'm just having a really hard time coping.
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Re: Moms of 2 or more
I am on #4, but my other three are a bit older from my previous relationship. I think your feelings are completely normal, I too get overwhelmed and think "really? what were you thinking having more?? you were finally past the potty training and sleepless nights etc...." But I try to just tell myself it will feel worth it when I'm holding my new LO.
I do think your kids may be forgetting stuff because you are preggo... almost a subconscious thing, all the attention right now is on your pregnancy whether on purpose or not, so when you have to stop and remind them to do things, they get your attention for a moment. Plus summer breaks are hard any ways. Kids love it and parents get tired of it really fast! lol. Don't get me wrong, I love having my kids home, but this generation is so used to constant stimulation, even at school (ie computers, friends, activities) that when they have nothing to do they get restless and it falls on the mom to "keep them entertained".
I was blessed with very obedient and thoughtful children so if I'm feeling drained or need some space, I just ask them to find a quiet activity (even if it's video games or tv) and keep it down for a while so I can shut myself in my room for 20 minutes or so to regather myself! My kids are also old enough to help with cooking (with supervision) or other chores that I have been to tired to get to, like laundry or vacuuming. They love to help and often make comments like "are you tired because of the baby?" or "want me to rub your shoulders?"
With that being said.... I also get a lot of "there's nothing to do" or "can we can we can we" ... we have SO much going on in our household right now that sometimes I do flip out on everyone... which is rare so when it happens, my house becomes miraculously quiet for at least an hour because no one wants to "set mom off"... my oldest even reminds the younger ones in a whisper "shhhh! Mom needs it quiet right now!" or "stop fighting, you're going to get in trouble!"
And ya, DH saying "not to stress" doesn't help at ALL! It would probably be more helpful if they said "I understand, how about I take the kids for a walk or to the park for a little bit!"... somethin. My DH even said this morning (we both had a hard time waking up b/c the night before we were at L&D Triage until 3am...) that he was just wiped cuz HE has been going non-stop for days! ... I was thinkin how much I wished I had a nice ice cold glass of water to pour on him! haha!
Let me just say, I can relate. The only one who seems to remember the expectations around here is my 22 mo!! He has been putting one toy away before he gets another one out, and today, went and brought the kitchen trash to the front door & yelled "out!"
Everyone else, however, acts like this is "Mom's Bed and Breakfast - boarding for free" We have chore charts, daily clean up times, set expectations, set consequences, etc too. But you'd think we've never asked them to do a stinkin' thing in their lives. Tooth-brushing time is the bane of my existence - MH isn't consistent at all with it, so if I'm not on my game, they could go days without brushing. SHouldn't an almost 14yo KNOW that his teeth need clean - ugh.
Anyway - all that to say, yes, I think in a way it is because you (and I) are pregnant. I think that they take advantage of mama's lack of energy & baby-brain not attending to the details. Also, they are reacting to the impending change too. I don't remember it being quite this bad last time, but Dh says it was.
Plus, I also think it's partly due to summer - our schedule isn't as rigid, so I think they slack a lot more. (I know I have been - shampooed the carpets yesterday, let's just say, NOT a pretty job)
I can't help but agree. Summer is to blame IMHO. Routine is out the window, and things are just a little more lax.
As for being freaked about kid 3, I don't think it's sunk it yet that we're having our third. I guess I also feel like it will all just work out somehow.
You all made me feel so much better! I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who has ever temporarily doubted their decision to have MORE kids and that there are people I can talk to without being judged. I felt like a volcano waiting to erupt this morning and it was good to get it off my chest.
DH had a nice chat with the kids on his lunch break about how they really need to be listening and helping me out a little more than usual now that I'm pregnant. They're normally so good with doing their chores and whatnot, I guess pregnancy brain is contagious. He also arranged for MIL to come over so we could get out without the kids for a couple hours... Hallelujah!
1 month left of summer break. 1 more month... Lol
I am only a mother of 1, but I have felt those feelings before as well. I think it's normal to feel overwhelmed (heck, I even felt overwhelmed sometimes when I was pregnant with #1!).
My mom told me that after she found out she was expecting #3, she thought, "oh crap! what have I done?!" Ha. I think all parents feel that way. I'm sure it will all work itself out once the kids go back to school! GL
This is the same for us exactly. we were away on vacation last week, and this week has been miserable - I have to ask at least 6 times every day for the kids to get in their chairs to eat breakfast/lunch/dinner, whatever. I feel like no one listens to me any more!
And there are days where I think if I can't handle the 2 I have (see above - it occasionally leads to me yelling), how am I going to add another? I am already tired thinking about it.