Cute or tacky?

earthmama2011 · July 2012

Here is the email that was sent to myself and a few other close friends of the mommy to be...

"As many of you probably know,* names" are expecting a baby boy in August! Even though they now live afar, please help us shower them with happy wishes and love during this special time.
Please send a card with a special memory and happy thought for the new Mommy and Daddy. For those who wish, a gift or a gift card can be sent along as well."

The person "hosting" this will be delivering our cards to the new mommy in 3 weeks. She is making up a gift basket with pamper presents for the mommy to be, snacks (chocolates, baked goods, teas etc.) and of course some baby gifts. The expectant parents recently moved for work and now live 8 hours away. She has had a difficult time getting pregnant (almost 5 years trying so we are all really excited) and is now also having a difficult pregnancy and can not travel.

What does everyone think of this "shower from afar" I thought it was a cute idea.

danieliza1127 · July 2012

Some people will find it tacky but since you know the couple and love them and know their struggle with getting pregnant, you won't find it tacky. It's all perception. For me, it would just depend on how well I knew the couple or how close to them I was.

EastCoastBride · July 2012

The key words here are "a few other close friends". For a close friend, I'd have no problem w/ this.

LilBlkDress1 · July 2012

I think it's really nice of this girl to do for the expectant mom. I see no tackiness. especially since she really asks that you give a card with happy wishes and just adds on "for those who wish, a gift or gift card can be sent as well". I approve 100%. If the mother herself was doing this it would be completely different.

earthmama2011 · July 2012

Thank you so much ladies. This is only the second baby in our group of friends.

And yes it really was only a few of us that received the invite. I think only 7 in total, myself included.

CharlieMomma · July 2012

I think it's super cute and sweet. I'm sure the momma-to-be is already sad being away from all her friends as it is, so to shower her this way seems very thoughtful.

If I received this email, I wouldn't think twice about it. (and kind of glad someone is organizing it for me )

Cranang · July 2012

Perfect execution! Just as it should be!

Ladiebug710 · July 2012

For a close friend I would have already sent a gift on my own.

MelleTX · July 2012

I think this is the perfect way to do this. It's not a shower, it's one friend putting together a care package for another friend. She sent a note asking if anyone would like to contribute - that's all. It's a nice gesture, one the MTB will appreciate, and a sweet thing to do.

bklynbmp · July 2012

Its not a shower - just a friend trying to get people to do something sweet for the mother to be. Very sweet.

gnomemom · July 2012

I think your friend is handling it just right. Definitely cute and as PP mentioned, perfectly executed.

sowingseasons · July 2012

I think it is great. I am sure the mother and father to be will love reading the cards from close friends after a move!

pamiva1 · July 2012

Very cute

jvdavisbaby · July 2012

I dont see a single thing wrong with this e-mail

I dont know that cute is the right word lol but its definately not tacky.... but then again I wear the tacky crown with SmileyGirl18 so my opinion may not be worth much

blush64 · July 2012

I don't like the idea. I am an adult and I don't really someone to prompt me to send a gift to someone. I woud find it rude that someone is asking me for a gift. I like attending showers but this is not a shower, it's a request for gifts. The person is "hosting" nothing. EDIT I know they say "a card or if gift if you want" but to me that implies gift.

I love showers and I love baby shopping, I don't love requests for gifts.

EDIT Sorry, I just don't like it. If this was done over the phone and only to family I would think differently. I don't like this in an email. I wouldn't like it in a sent invitation. To be honest even as a phone conversation it would have to be worded well as in "let's plan this together" not as in I'm doing this and you can contribute.

I am pretty easy going but I just don't like this idea too much.

RachellMcK · July 2012

If it didn't say "baby boy" this could possibly be an email sent from one of my family members. My husband is military and we are due to have our baby in just a few weeks but we had to move when I was almost 6 months pregnant. I come from a large family and have lots of Aunts, Cousins, and other relatives that are always super involved in babies and weddings.

I was actually super sad when we had to move because there wasn't time to do a shower (not so much for the gifts because I know my baby would never want for anything while my family had any say, but for the tradition and celebration of it all).

kelle017 · July 2012

I don't see a problem with it.

HoneyBee973 · July 2012

I like this .

Jillwithani · July 2012

I think this is a really sweet idea and like you said you're all aware of their struggles and it would make her feel special that you guys are celebrating her journey to motherhood even though she can't be there. I believe it was done as tastefully as possible too. Kudos to the organizer.

chicagobridelibby · July 2012

Perfection.

tobysnuggles · July 2012

Not tacky, I think it's the same as people going in on a gift together with one person coordinating it saying you can feel free to give something else too that she will deliver at the same time.

MelleTX · July 2012

blush64:
I don't like the idea. I am an adult and I don't really someone to prompt me to send a gift to someone. I woud find it rude that someone is asking me for a gift. I like attending showers but this is not a shower, it's a request for gifts. The person is "hosting" nothing. EDIT I know they say "a card or if gift if you want" but to me that implies gift.

I love showers and I love baby shopping, I don't love requests for gifts.

EDIT Sorry, I just don't like it. If this was done over the phone and only to family I would think differently. I don't like this in an email. I wouldn't like it in a sent invitation. To be honest even as a phone conversation it would have to be worded well as in "let's plan this together" not as in I'm doing this and you can contribute.

I am pretty easy going but I just don't like this idea too much.

That's an interesting perspective. Would it have come across different to you if she didn't use the word "shower" and instead asked if anyone wanted to contribute to a care package (or something similar)?

I like the idea - because it went to only about 7 close friends. Had she sent it to her entire contact list, that would be different.

But, my core group of girlfriends is a group of 7. We email back and forth all the time about birthdays, babies, weddings etc as people go through different stages of life. To me, this is the same as when one of my 7 emailed the others about getting together to host a baby shower for me. I hear it went something like "Hey, Amy and I were talking about Melle and thought we would want to host a shower for her. Let us know if you want to participate."

Jazzym12 · July 2012

very cute

blush64 · July 2012

MelleTX:
blush64:

That's an interesting perspective. Would it have come across different to you if she didn't use the word "shower" and instead asked if anyone wanted to contribute to a care package (or something similar)?

I like the idea - because it went to only about 7 close friends. Had she sent it to her entire contact list, that would be different.

But, my core group of girlfriends is a group of 7. We email back and forth all the time about birthdays, babies, weddings etc as people go through different stages of life. To me, this is the same as when one of my 7 emailed the others about getting together to host a baby shower for me. I hear it went something like "Hey, Amy and I were talking about Melle and thought we would want to host a shower for her. Let us know if you want to participate."

Actually this would have been very different to me. I know it's only a matter of wording and phone vs. email but it makes a huge difference in how I would perceive the intent. If I got a call saying "I'm sending a care package since we can't have a shower and I was wondering if you wanted to go in on it with me" I would be fine with it vs getting an email suggesting it would be a nice idea to send a card to our friend and it would be great if I could do that or maybe get a gift if I want as part of a "shower" idea that someone thought of.

Small differences to some people but to me it would make all the difference.

Faith 21 · July 2012

I think your friend has someone that truly cares. This is adorable. I think it's perfect for the MTB. I bet it will mean a whole lot to her.

EricsTrueLove2 · July 2012

blush64:

I don't like the idea. I am an adult and I don't really someone to prompt me to send a gift to someone. I woud find it rude that someone is asking me for a gift. I like attending showers but this is not a shower, it's a request for gifts. The person is "hosting" nothing. EDIT I know they say "a card or if gift if you want" but to me that implies gift.

I love showers and I love baby shopping, I don't love requests for gifts.

EDIT Sorry, I just don't like it. If this was done over the phone and only to family I would think differently. I don't like this in an email. I wouldn't like it in a sent invitation. To be honest even as a phone conversation it would have to be worded well as in "let's plan this together" not as in I'm doing this and you can contribute.

I am pretty easy going but I just don't like this idea too much.

Hmm pretty easy going? You edited your post twice after you posted it.

EricsTrueLove2 · July 2012

I like it. I think it's very nice of you to think of the MTB and try to include some friends because you know it would mean a lot to the receiver. It's not a mandatory request but something nice to offer because sometimes people don't think of these things on their own.

sesigs · July 2012

What I don't understand with these "showers from afar" is why couldn't the "hostess" just give a gift basket on her own and allow everyone else to decide if they want to send a gift? I think people get really nervous that the MTB will end up with NO presents for baby at all but I think this is unlikely for many cases.

misspunky · July 2012

I don't think this is tacky at all. The way she worded it, I wouldn't have felt like I had to buy anything or send a gift card. The way it sounds is that they simply want the MTB to have some support since she's been down a hard road and has recently moved. I think it's cute.

BallSox · July 2012

Meh, it's a care package not a shower. However, if this was cc'd to 100 people with a link to their registry, I'd be a little more judgey.

jlh2716 · July 2012

I think this is really sweet. I don't find it tacky at all with the way it was done, and if I was a person in this close-knit circle receiving this, I'd gladly hop on it with a thoughtful card and a gift. Now, if I was just an acquaintance getting this email, I'd side-eye it and only send a cheap little old card.

rhubarb123 · July 2012

I'd send a gift if I was friends or a relative to the MTB...but I would have done so anyway without being prompted to do so.

Aleja0918 · July 2012

EricsTrueLove2:
blush64:

I don't like the idea. I am an adult and I don't really someone to prompt me to send a gift to someone. I woud find it rude that someone is asking me for a gift. I like attending showers but this is not a shower, it's a request for gifts. The person is "hosting" nothing. EDIT I know they say "a card or if gift if you want" but to me that implies gift.

I love showers and I love baby shopping, I don't love requests for gifts.

EDIT Sorry, I just don't like it. If this was done over the phone and only to family I would think differently. I don't like this in an email. I wouldn't like it in a sent invitation. To be honest even as a phone conversation it would have to be worded well as in "let's plan this together" not as in I'm doing this and you can contribute.

I am pretty easy going but I just don't like this idea too much.

pretty easy going? You edited your post twice after you posted it.

Because further editing a post or clarifying her words totally means she's not easy going.

To the OP, since it's an email sent to a few of your closest friends, I don't see a problem. As others have already mentioned, had it gone out to more than just your circle of friends, then I'd consider it rude.

Cranang · July 2012

Good grief folks. Honestly, I'm not even sure why this required a post on the baby showers board to begin with, since it's not even close to a baby shower. But it did get posted, so...

I'm guess I'm one of the "hardcore" people on here, and even I didn't have an issue with this. Like everyone said, if it had gone out to 100 people, SUPER TACKY. But emailing among 7 girlfriends? A NICE GESTURE.

As far as the wording of "a card or a gift if you want", it DOESN'T imply a gift. Let's say one of my girlfriends said she was doing this. I already had my gift picked out and was excited about sending it. I would contribute a card to the care package and tell my girlfriend "I've got a gift for her in process." That would be the end of it--no pressure. This is why it's ok to do for a tight knit group of friends, but not everyone on a contact list.

earthmama2011 · July 2012

Thank you everyone for all of your responses. I didn`t know it would be such a ``hot topic``

blush64 · July 2012

EricsTrueLove2:
blush64:

I don't like the idea. I am an adult and I don't really someone to prompt me to send a gift to someone. I woud find it rude that someone is asking me for a gift. I like attending showers but this is not a shower, it's a request for gifts. The person is "hosting" nothing. EDIT I know they say "a card or if gift if you want" but to me that implies gift.

I love showers and I love baby shopping, I don't love requests for gifts.

EDIT Sorry, I just don't like it. If this was done over the phone and only to family I would think differently. I don't like this in an email. I wouldn't like it in a sent invitation. To be honest even as a phone conversation it would have to be worded well as in "let's plan this together" not as in I'm doing this and you can contribute.

I am pretty easy going but I just don't like this idea too much.

pretty easy going? You edited your post twice after you posted it.

Editing is about wanting to be clear with what I am saying or wanting to add something without making a new post. I am pretty easy going when it comes to showers as long as they are properly hosted.

EDIT Sorry, I just read someone already wrote what I just wrote. (It's my first time on since the other day)

ChevyFam717 · July 2012

for a few close friends or family - not tacky. But instead of saying: For those who wish, a gift or a gift card can be sent along as well.

I would say... "If you wish to participate by giving a gift in addition to your card, please contact so and so"

Rather than just saying. you can gift a gift or gift card it lets people reach out if they want to and ignore it if they dont want to.

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