I need to vent. Everyone is asking me about #2

NJMom050911 · July 2012

I swear this wasn't happening as often before our loss. Now every single day someone asks me if we're ready for number 2. I work in corporate so there are lots of people here. Usually it's something like "how is the baby" , "are you ready for another". I say yes and move on. This morning it was "how is Logan" , "are you ready for another one" I said yes. She says "oh will you be trying soon", I told her "well actually we were pregnant but lost the baby, hopefully it will happen soon". I wanted her to know not to ask people such things, I know people don't mean harm and they don't know what happened but why press the issue and ASK if we will be trying soon. It's like Um so you're having unprotected sex?

Ana0927 · July 2012

I am sorry I know this sucks. I get asked all the time by co workers and even family (who don't know about my loss). I used to say "I don't know yet" and I always got the "don't wait too long, you know its harder as you get older" or "hurry up and have another baby you don't want too big of an age difference". I just change the subject quickly and move one.

LLPtobe · July 2012

You're right, people don't mean harm when they ask or say things like that, but they should also recognize that they DON'T know what has or hasn't happened in your life and frankly it's rude and presumptuous to ask such questions. After DH and I got married we started getting the kids question a lot, so we just started saying, "No, we're not ready yet. But don't worry, we're doing LOTS of practicing." ) That shut a lot of people up.

kj07 · July 2012

Ugh, I'm with you on this. It sucks!

amy7111 · July 2012

Ugh I'm so sorry! It is very stressful when people ask, I totally understand. About a week after my 1st m/c a co-worker asked me if my DH and I were ready to have a baby and I said yes we are trying (with a smile on my face) and her response was "oh are you pregnant now, because your belly is growing!" I wanted to smack her! Who says that to someone, ugh people just don't think before they speak!

((hugs))

NJMom050911 · July 2012

amy7111:

Ugh I'm so sorry! It is very stressful when people ask, I totally understand. About a week after my 1st m/c a co-worker asked me if my DH and I were ready to have a baby and I said yes we are trying (with a smile on my face) and her response was "oh are you pregnant now, because your belly is growing!" I wanted to smack her! Who says that to someone, ugh people just don't think before they speak!

((hugs))

Oh wow that is RUDE! I'm so sorry.

Fuzzy21 · July 2012

Oh gosh, I complained about this yesterday on the miscarriage/preg loss board. This is so frustrating! I had SIX different people ask me at work yesterday or make some comment about the fact that I bettter get started on #2. DS just turns one tomorrow. Seriously people. I used to just smile and say, "hopefully soon," but now I just flat out say that I already got on that and had a m/c so who knows what is in store for me. If they are going to open themselves to the question, I'm going to be blunt and shut them up. Maybe next time they will think twice. I know they mean well, but seriously, it's none of their business, especially at work

jkmbean · July 2012

I am so sorry and I completely understand. I just recently started getting this question at work. People assume that since you have already had 1 child that it is a piece of cake to have another. I know that they do not mean anything by asking but it ends up being really hurtful-especially when your day seems to be going well.

Albah · July 2012

It's so frustrating and I really really hate getting these type of comments. I always get the "when's the little girl coming?" Most of the time I just say "not yet" to shut them up quick. I'm so sorry you have to go through this too.

Adam2010 · July 2012

i do believe you have read my mind and stole my post! So sorry you have to go through this- I was just going to write a post about this because people at my job ask me this ALL the time! I have told a few people like you have just to make sure they don't ask again and leave me alone!

Sending you lots of hugs and hoping that everyone stops asking questions... sometimes it really hurts