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Late Term and Child Loss
JonesBaby0624
member
EDD: 06/25/2006 M/C: 11/03/2005
EDD: 04/08/2012 M/C: 09/03/2011
EDD: 12/27/2012 Born Sleeping: 07/19/2012
EDD: 12/07/2013 M/C 05/30/2013 & 05/31/2013
EDD: 07/01/2016 Born sleeping: 03/02/2016
Where are my friends? small vent
JonesBaby0624
member
I'm not really sure what I expected from my friends but I guess it wasn't, being left at home alone with my 6 year old, with no calls or visitors. One friend stopped by yesterday and stayed about 30 minutes. I haven't heard from my best friend at all, since I told her I am home. We are not talking about a young woman who doesn't know how to deal with the situation. I am an older mom and my friend is in her 50's. My ex husband has been more concerned and helpful than my friends. He has called to check on me and came to take our son bowling last night to get him out of the house. I guess this is when you learn who your true friends are.
I'm sorry if I am being unreasonable but I just feel so angry and alone.
EDD: 06/25/2006 M/C: 11/03/2005
EDD: 04/08/2012 M/C: 09/03/2011
EDD: 12/27/2012 Born Sleeping: 07/19/2012
EDD: 12/07/2013 M/C 05/30/2013 & 05/31/2013
EDD: 07/01/2016 Born sleeping: 03/02/2016
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Where are my friends? small vent
EDD: 06/25/2006 M/C: 11/03/2005
EDD: 04/08/2012 M/C: 09/03/2011
EDD: 12/27/2012 Born Sleeping: 07/19/2012
EDD: 12/07/2013 M/C 05/30/2013 & 05/31/2013
EDD: 07/01/2016 Born sleeping: 03/02/2016
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
We have friends who sent a card a few weeks after our loss, then silence ever since. Not a single phone call, text, nothing. Another couple couldn't be bothered to send a sympathy card but were more than happy to send a birth announcement for their healthy son who was born 6 days before we lost ours, along w/ a Xmas letter (squee! We had the best year ever!). Yet another friend, who was my bridesmaid, sent me a text a few months ago acknowledging she had heard about my loss, but hadn't bothered to contact me until then (6 mos. later).
It's true that people don't know what to do or say but doing nothing is inexcusable in my book. Yes, unfortunately this is an experience that defines who your friends really are. This is one of the reasons I found so much support on this board! Please know that you're not alone; seems we all go through some degree of this. It does add insult to injury.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am still hurt by the fact that some people I was very close with, have still not said a word to me, no card, no text, nothing. Their lives are just going on. The silence really is worse because it does make me angry sometimes, but then other times I do understand that the death of our daughter makes some people very uncomfortable. And that isn't really right because we area the one that are suffering, and it's not just going to go away.
Like you, I just don't have the strength to keep reaching out to people who can't respond. But what I have done is gone to support groups, met some parents who understand, and we can kind of help each other.
I hope the people that mean the most to you will be there and support you, and just hold on to the ones who keep reaching out, they aren't going anywhere.