Success after IF

*Sharing News*

Hi everyone!  

My husband and I just started our first round of IVF (2 injections last night) and we are trying to remain hopeful that it will be successful.  We both struggle back and forth about finally being able to share good news.  Our immediate family and closest friends know, but that's it.

 I have a couple questions about how you went about sharing your news.

1. For the people who knew you were doing IVF, did you tell them right away?

2. For those that didn't know, did you share the news right away or did you wait until after the first trimester before sharing the news?

3.  Are you open to sharing that you struggled with infertility and did IVF to get your miracle with those who did not know you were doing IVF?

Looking forward to reading your posts! 

 

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Re: *Sharing News*

  • (aside from my one BFF who is also a bumpie)

    1.  Close friends and my family knew we were doing IVF, but I still waited until 6 weeks to tell my parents, 8 weeks for my sisters, and then the standard 12-13ish weeks for everyone else.  We did have 2 couples that were also IVFers that knew right away because they'd been there/were about to be there.

    2.  DH's parents found out at 10 weeks when I had a bleeding scare and needed to go to L&D/ER.   Co-workers and others found out after 1st tri.

    3.  I am very open about it now.  DH does not want our son to know he was an IVF baby (at least not as part of the how babies are made talk, I'm not hiding that from him as an adult if he asks).   I was very selective about who I shared IF with while going through it because there are judgemental a$$hats everywhere and I preferred keeping the "just relax" (thank MIL!) or "adoption is always an option" (co-irker on my FB page) comments to a minimum.


    imageimage
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
    Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14

    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929

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  • DrRxDrRx member

    1. I'm a very open person, and so all those who knew that we were doing IVF (close family, friends, and close coworkers) knew about the positive beta.

    2. We shared the news that we were pregnant with everyone when we were discharged from the RE to the OB. 

    3.  I'm very open to sharing that our daughter is an IVF baby.  Our daughter is also a NICU baby--she's a 26-weeker! I just think that it is such an important part of her history, and it is something that sets her apart.  She will definitely know how she came to be, especially since I've included a pic of her as a blastocyst in her baby book (1st official baby pic). Smile  I'm a big science nerd and find the entire process absolutely amazing.  

    However, you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with.  There is no right or wrong answer.  I will say that when we didn't share our IF struggles until we decided to do IVF, and I wished that we had started sharing sooner.  I felt so much better talking about it with everyone.  In my life, people were very supportive, and any talk of "just relax" I answered with "Um, no.  We had tests done and the only real way we can have a baby is through IVF. I wish it were that easy."  So many people, actually, liked learning about it, and found the process interesting.  

    TTC Since July 2008.
    Me: PCOS DH: Low everything (MFI)
    Clomid with TI x 3 2010 BFN
    Clomid+IUI+Ovidrel 2010 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 2011
    9/8/11 Beta #1: 2082!! 9/19/11 Beta#2 34,689!! U/S 9/22/11 HR 127! 11/8/11 HR 150! 12/6/11 HR 136! 12/14/11 HR 139! Born at 26w2d on 2/4/2012! After 83 days in the NICU, Adalyn came home on 4/26/12!
    FET 1 3/2013 BFN
    FET 2 5/2013 BFN
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • We're also very open with our IVF journey, and like PP said, we view this as an important part of my son's history.  He's one special miracle and you can see he's a figher in his little personality.  we also want to help take away misconceptions and stigmas.  IF can strike anyone and it frustrated us when people said they were surprised that we were IF b/c we were very fit, healthy, or any other crazy adjective!

     1.  Our families, my BFF, and DH BFF knew within 10 minutes of the RE beta call.  Everyone knew we cycled and was praying for us.  We knew they were sitting on pins and needles, like the rest of us.

    2.  Work found out at 8 weeks.  My preference would have been to wait until 15-20 weeks or I started showing, but we were doing some project planning and I didn't feel right signing up for something I knew I wouldn't see to completion.

    3.  All of our other friends found out at 15 weeks.  We called those closest and then announced on FB.  At that time, I came out about IF to the masses and then began using FB as a way to educate others.  Sicne that time, I've had so many people reach out to ask questions about situations they or their freinds were in!

     Good luck!  Hope you'll be sharing big news very soon!

    TTC since April 2009 dx = PCOS; TTC History for DS - A FET miracle after 7 IUIs; 2 fresh transfers, and 1 other FET resulted in BFNs. Hoping and Praying for baby #2: Cycle 1 - FET; November 2012 BFN Next Steps - who knows? Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • 1. For the people who knew you were doing IVF, did you tell them right away? Yes, after my first beta (my DH and I kept our positive HPTs to ourselves and didn't share with anyone, including our parents, until after my first beta). My parents, DH's parents, our siblings, and 2 of my best friends knew we were going through IVF, as well as my boss.

    2. For those that didn't know, did you share the news right away or did you wait until after the first trimester before sharing the news? We waited to tell everyone that didn't know that we were going through IVF until I was 13 weeks.

    3. Are you open to sharing that you struggled with infertility and did IVF to get your miracle with those who did not know you were doing IVF? I am very open about it now, but we do still have family and friends that don't know about our journey, simply because they never asked. I would like to share his IVF beginnings with DS (and any future LOs) when he/they are old enough to understand. DH doesn't necessarily agree, or think there is any reason to, but I believe in being very honest with my children. If nothing more, it may give them a glimpse into just how very much he/they were wanted :-)

    Good luck!

     

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   

     

    S&B born via induction 5.8.13

     

    imageimage

     

     

     

  • 1. Yes we told everyone when I got my ffirst beta for my son when I did iui. This time we told all that knew about our positive hpt and everyone is eager for my beta Tom!

    2. I won't announce it to the world till after I'm 12weeks....but all my friends and family know, so I don't really care if anyone else finds out or not...the most important people in our lives know.... 

    3. I'm so open about my infertility struggles. My kids will know how they were made....I hope my story's and success help someone else out there with there's.... 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers After years of struggling with infertility issues (PCOS since I was 16) and 15 medicated cycles we finally got blessed with our son. We got lucky with our 7th IUI using stims...Now we are back on the roller coaster to try for another miracle..IVF cycle in May resulted in a chemical pregnancy. 2 snowbabies FET 7/16-transferred 2 blastocyst...Faint bfp 4dp5dt! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • 1.  The people who knew we did IVF - we told them within a day of us finding out.

    2.  I told my immediate family but not co-workers and extended family.  However, I had bad morning sickness starting at 6 weeks and everyone saw me puking in the office so it was one of those things that is the worst kept secret!   For my 2nd child, I told everyone immediately - it avoided the awkwardness of the 1st time.

    3.  I'm beyond open - like the pp, I'm a science nerd and think it's an amazing thing.  Now I'm the person everyone comes to for advice on what they should do - go to RE, try acupunture, their IVF protocols, etc.  I found the minute I was open about IVF, people had so many questions and so many people opened up to me that they were going through it too.  I became a therapist in some ways.  I didn't mind it - I found strength in numbers - but just know that some people will say things that are ignorant because they don't understand it (i.e. what if you get pregnant with 6 babies..they don't know IVF vs. IUI).  The only time I had a hard time with being so open is when people would ask me a ton of questions about IUI, tell me how long they were trying on their own and then a week later say "never mind, I just found out I'm pregnant".  That happened twice and that was painful.

    Good luck!  It's a rollercoaster ride - a lot of ups and downs - but keep your eye on the prize- a take home baby!

    3 IUI's and 2 IVF's later- Brady arrived. Born at 36 weeks after PUPPS and pre-e/HELLP.
    IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image


  • 1. For the people who knew you were doing IVF, did you tell them right away?

    My mom and sis in law knew all the details about every cycle and in addition knew as soon as we did when we got pregnant. I knew 2 days before we told them but only because I wanted to wait until my beta to confirm.

    2. For those that didn't know, did you share the news right away or did you wait until after the first trimester before sharing the news?

    we told 2 family members and I had to tell my bosses because I had complications early on. We actually waited until I was almost 20 weeks before we really told everyone.

    3.  Are you open to sharing that you struggled with infertility and did IVF to get your miracle with those who did not know you were doing IVF?

    we are very very open with IVF and with what we went through. You never know who is having trouble and we actually have a few friends who have been through similar treatment.  Some people know we used donor egg but we don't really talk about that with anyone. That is too personal tio just chat about . I would never not be honest but now that my daughter is here I would never want someone to discuss that with her or think different of her. While most people are understanding of what goes on and what people struggle with some people (like my MIL) are just jerks and don't think before they speak.

  • imagehugzenkisses982:

    Hi everyone!  

    My husband and I just started our first round of IVF (2 injections last night) and we are trying to remain hopeful that it will be successful.  We both struggle back and forth about finally being able to share good news.  Our immediate family and closest friends know, but that's it.

     I have a couple questions about how you went about sharing your news.

    1. For the people who knew you were doing IVF, did you tell them right away? - We told the people (parents, siblings, very close friends) who knew we were doing IVF the day we received a positive beta from the RE. They knew which day we were having the test and were just as anxious as we were. 

    2. For those that didn't know, did you share the news right away or did you wait until after the first trimester before sharing the news? - For everyone else we waited until after the first trimester.

    3.  Are you open to sharing that you struggled with infertility and did IVF to get your miracle with those who did not know you were doing IVF? - It all depends on the person and the situation.

    Looking forward to reading your posts! 

     

    TTC since 10/06 - Went to RE after 6 months of TTC due to AMA -Diagnosed with MIF 5/07, only option IVF with ICSI - IVF #1 cancelled due to cyst, never got to ER - IVF #1.5 10/07, BFP - Robert Andrew born 7/30/08 Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
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