Natural Birth

Tearing & repairing.

Two quick-and-dirty questions.

First of all, what is a 'skid mark' in terms of labour & delivery/tearing? I've heard the term used quite a bit but never known what it means.

Second... Please be nice...

The 'husband stitch'. I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about. How exactly do you... Get one of those? Just ask the doctor "hey, can you add in a few extra stitches for me"? Do they just do it anyway, discreetly? I've heard people talking about their doctor putting in an extra stitch to tighten things back up, but they've never said how they went about doing that.

Re: Tearing & repairing.

  • Yup, skid marks are minor tears that don't meed stitches. As for #2, pretty sure it's not really real, just another way to keep women fearful of childbirth and their vaginas, in all honesty...  

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • imageovertonhayes:

    The 'husband stitch'. I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about. How exactly do you... Get one of those? Just ask the doctor "hey, can you add in a few extra stitches for me"? Do they just do it anyway, discreetly? I've heard people talking about their doctor putting in an extra stitch to tighten things back up, but they've never said how they went about doing that.

    Please tell me you're joking... I don't even want to think about how painful the first few times would be if you did this. 

    Pass the sheet cake.

    BabyGaga
  • There's no such thing as a "husband stitch." Also, the vagina is a muscle that can be strengthened and "tightened" with exercise (like kegels). Most women don't tear their vaginas (except maybe the outside tissue) -- they tear the perineum which has little to with how "tight" your husband thinks you are.
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  • imageNechie122:
    There's no such thing as a "husband stitch." Also, the vagina is a muscle that can be strengthened and "tightened" with exercise (like kegels). Most women don't tear their vaginas (except maybe the outside tissue) -- they tear the perineum which has little to with how "tight" your husband thinks you are.

    Exactly this. 

     

  • True that MOST women do not tear their vaginas, but it is possible to do. I did it and it's not an enjoyable experience to heal from.

    It's a tearing of the muscles on either side of the vagina (either where the bladder is or the rectum) and causes a prolapse of the walls. I have a pronounced prolapse on the side of the rectum and a minor one on the bladder side. Despite this, I retained enough control of the muscles that it's starting to heal and rebuild even though there is still significantly less control and bathroom matters aren't as easy as they were before. Through it all my husband claims he can't tell the difference when we have sex. Apparently the inward fall of the tissue created an alternate structure that is just as enjoyable though mostly out of my personal control.

    A Husband Stitch is a horrible idea even if you can find a doctor silly enough to over stitch the exterior of the vaginal opening. The pain that this would cause during intercourse would outweigh the desired result and there's a good chance you would shy away from sex as a whole in an effort to avoid the pain.

    I had a second degree perineal tear and even the proper stitching felt overly tight and uncomfortable for a few months after birth. I strongly recommend that if you do have major tearing, even to the muscular level, that you pursue physical therapy options and then appropriate reconstruction instead of a Husband Stitch.

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  • Thanks ladies!

    I honestly thought the husband stitch was a real thing... I can't remember which book I read about it in. Admittedly it was one of those light-hearted "here's the sh*t they never tell you about" kind of books (as opposed to, say, WTEWYE or another more 'serious' book) but they talked about it for a good bit... I bet if I were to dig the book out again it would turn out they were joking. Still, good to know it's not necessary!

  • throw out the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.

    Sex hurt like a b*tch the first few times we did it. I didn't need any help being tight down there. PP sex was worse than virgin sex.

  • imagetokenhoser:

    throw out the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.

    Holy crapnuggets, that's the book!

  • imageovertonhayes:
    imagetokenhoser:

    throw out the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.

    Holy crapnuggets, that's the book!

    LOL, I was 100% positive when you said you read it in a book that it had to be that book.  Piece of garbage.
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  • imageStefandTodd:
    imageovertonhayes:
    imagetokenhoser:

    throw out the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.

    Holy crapnuggets, that's the book!

    LOL, I was 100% positive when you said you read it in a book that it had to be that book.  Piece of garbage.

    I liked a lot of it, to be honest. There were some bits that I gave the side-eye - I think that was the one that encouraged you to stick your baby in the nursery with the nurses as much as possible because, you know, you need to sleep; and 'the whole rooming in thing' is just for those who are 'doing all that natural birth stuff' -  but I really enjoyed the light-hearted-ness.

    Belly Laughs, now that was an aggravating book. Maybe it's because DH and I aren't exactly rolling in money, but the whole "ANYWAY, so I was out doing this incredibly costly and frivolous luxury thing, and this embarrassing pregnancy thing happened to me! Do you know how humiliating it is when the pool boy sees your boobs?" feel really bugged me.

  • Side note on the skidmark thing. I had a skidmark with my first and a 2nd degree tear with my second. The recovery from my 2nd was much better. With the skidmark they don't stitch so the irritated skin is just there, and it hurts when you pee. With an actual tear they stitch it up (that part admittedly sucks) so peeing didn't hurt nearly as much, if at all. I'm not sure if you can request stitching for a skidmark, but it would be worth looking into I think.
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  • I agree with OP about their responses to question number 1! As for question #2 I wouldnt worry about that. I just had a natural med free birth a few days ago and had a second degree tear.  I can tell you that the last thing on my mind when I was being stitched up was getting a few extra for my DH!!
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