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June 2012 Moms
My husband doesn't want to see our baby ...
I need help! Just a few days ago I left my house with my son because I found out my husband was cheating on me with another woman while he was in Afghanistan and continued to talk to her while he is at home. We tried to work things out and want to start over. I want to work things out because we have a newborn. He promised me he will break ties with her and never talk to her again so we can fix our marriage. Just today, I found out he is still talking to her and missing her with his new "secret" email account. I haven't told him yet that I know about their continued connection. I'm heart broken. I feel more heart broken because he didn't ask about our son nor did he ever ask to see him since I left. He's suppose to go back to Afghanistan in 8 days. What am I suppose to do?
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Re: My husband doesn't want to see our baby ...
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.
His behavior is horrible. Honestly, cheating is a deal breaker for me. But if you want to try to make it work, you should get some counseling yourself while he is away. Then when he comes back you can try going together.
You should still at least try to go for yourself just to talk it out with someone impartial.
This is such a lousy situation for you to be in. Especially after just having a baby.
How long have you guys been married? Has he ever cheated before?
I think you should do some soul searching while he's away. I'm also married 4 years with a newborn. I want to say I would leave him if I were you. But I'm not in your shoes.
The fact that he cheated is horrible by itself. But then he also lied to you and continued talking to her with a secret email account. The secret email seemed so sneaky it's why I questioned whether he cheated before
Regardless of the number of times he has cheated, I think you and your LO deserve better.
What makes me more worried than the actual cheating is how he is responding to the situation now-- he won't attend counseling, is lying to your face, and isn't showing concern for your son. To me, this behavior is not indicative of a person who is remorseful or looking to save his relationship.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Sending strength and hugs your way!
As to what you should do, I have no clue. It's a terrible situation. For your sake though, I would begin documenting what's happening in case you come to divorce. Having proof of infidelity and lack of interest in your new baby could be good to have at your disposal if the situation goes from bad to worse.
This exactly. It seems as if he doesn't even want to try to work out the relationship with you. His priorities seem to be with this secondary relationship instead of with you and your baby. I would seek counseling for your self and stay in close contact with friends and family that support you. You will ultimately have to make a decision for what is best for you and your baby and leave him out of the decision process.