Sleep training HELP!! Super long but I need advice!

JuneBugsMommy · July 2012

I need to fix the monster we've created!!

DS has never STTN! For the most part, he's always fallen asleep nursing or drinking his bottle. On the nights he doesn't fall asleep drinking his bottle we put him in bed and pat his butt/back until he is asleep. I no longer want him falling asleep drinking his bottle because I want him to go to sleep after we brush his teeth.

So tonight was night one, here's how it went..

Dinner at 6
Bath at 630
Lotion, jammies, read/play in DS's room until 730
Bottle of milk at 730 in the living room with the lights low and tv off
Brush teeth

Then, we turned on his sound machine and I layed him in bed and patted his back. He was squirming all around and then sat up. I let him turn on his mobile and I stood again his dresser about 10 feet from his crib. Once he noticed I wasn't right next to him he started crying while just starring at me. So I layed him back down, told him night night, and patted his back again. He started squirming around but I kept patting until he eventually sat up so I told him night night and I left the room.

I let him cry for one minute before I went back in and I layed him back down, told him night night, and started patting, He squirmed and sat up again so I left for 3 minutes, came back, same thing, left for 5 minutes, came back and patted him for about 7 minutes and he is now asleep.

Am I doing the right thing by patting him or is that the same thing as holding/rocking to sleep? Should I just be laying him back down, telling him night night, and leaving the room until he eventually falls asleep?

I've got to get this kid to STTN!

gymnst1013 · July 2012

You're doing exactly what we did when we sleep trained N. We laid him down at each check, reassured him for a minute or so and then left the room. Night one was hard - 45 minutes total of crying, night 2 was dramatically better - maybe 10 minutes total of crying, night 3 even better - less than 5 minutes I think and then it was maybe 30 seconds or less of crying each night for a few more nights and then none at all.

Stay strong and keep consistent! Good luck

JuneBugsMommy · July 2012

gymnst1013:

You're doing exactly what we did when we sleep trained N. We laid him down at each check, reassured him for a minute or so and then left the room. Night one was hard - 45 minutes total of crying, night 2 was dramatically better - maybe 10 minutes total of crying, night 3 even better - less than 5 minutes I think and then it was maybe 30 seconds or less of crying each night for a few more nights and then none at all.

Stay strong and keep consistent! Good luck

So patting him to sleep is ok? The only reason I'm leaving the room is because he sits up while I'm patting him. Otherwise, I would pat him until he falls asleep.

aztoid2006 · July 2012

You want him to fall asleep on his own. Patting is okay, but don't wait to leave until he falls asleep or that will be what he needs in order to fall asleep. With Caleb, I would rub or pat his back, tell him we love him, then leave the room. Sometimes he would still be crying, and sometimes he would have calmed down, but he was awake. That way he learns to fall asleep without any help from mom or dad. Good luck!

pregarella · July 2012

If he can't fall asleep without either his bottle or you patting him, you have created a sleep association. If you are sleep training, I think the number 1 priority will be to break him of all sleep associations so he can learn to soothe himself to sleep. Let me ask you this, you say he doesn't STTN, so how many times does he wake up per night? And do you need to pat him back to sleep in the middle of the night?

JuneBugsMommy · July 2012

aztoid2006:
You want him to fall asleep on his own. Patting is okay, but don't wait to leave until he falls asleep or that will be what he needs in order to fall asleep. With Caleb, I would rub or pat his back, tell him we love him, then leave the room. Sometimes he would still be crying, and sometimes he would have calmed down, but he was awake. That way he learns to fall asleep without any help from mom or dad. Good luck!

Thanks, tomorrow night I'll go that route!

aztoid2006 · July 2012

JuneBugsMommy:
aztoid2006:
You want him to fall asleep on his own. Patting is okay, but don't wait to leave until he falls asleep or that will be what he needs in order to fall asleep. With Caleb, I would rub or pat his back, tell him we love him, then leave the room. Sometimes he would still be crying, and sometimes he would have calmed down, but he was awake. That way he learns to fall asleep without any help from mom or dad. Good luck!

Thanks, tomorrow night I'll go that route!

Its hard, but totally worth it! You (both) can do it!

JuneBugsMommy · July 2012

pregarella:
If he can't fall asleep without either his bottle or you patting him, you have created a sleep association. If you are sleep training, I think the number 1 priority will be to break him of all sleep associations so he can learn to soothe himself to sleep. Let me ask you this, you say he doesn't STTN, so how many times does he wake up per night? And do you need to pat him back to sleep in the middle of the night?

He usually only wakes up once per night but sometimes it's twice or three times and out of lazyness we bring him into bed with us and give him a bottle.. yikes! Last night was the first night he didn't take a bottle during the night.

JuneBugsMommy · July 2012

aztoid2006:
JuneBugsMommy:

aztoid2006:
You want him to fall asleep on his own. Patting is okay, but don't wait to leave until he falls asleep or that will be what he needs in order to fall asleep. With Caleb, I would rub or pat his back, tell him we love him, then leave the room. Sometimes he would still be crying, and sometimes he would have calmed down, but he was awake. That way he learns to fall asleep without any help from mom or dad. Good luck!

Thanks, tomorrow night I'll go that route!

Its hard, but totally worth it! You (both) can do it!

DH will be out of town Thursday-Sunday so I figured it'll be a good time for me to be consistent with DS and hopefully he'll be STTN when DH gets back!!

pregarella · July 2012

It's going to be a little rough, but you can do it! Just stay consistent. We slept trained at 6 months, but every now and again she has these phases where she will go a week with crying to go down unless I pat her back as well. I am OK patting until she tries to sit up or stand up, and then I tell her it's night night and leave the room. She usually cries for less than 5 min and then puts herself to sleep.

aztoid2006 · July 2012

JuneBugsMommy:

DH will be out of town Thursday-Sunday so I figured it'll be a good time for me to be consistent with DS and hopefully he'll be STTN when DH gets back!!

When we did sleep training, I was the one up. I sat in the hall outside his door with my tablet computer so I could hear how he was doing. I read lots of posts on the Bump about sleep training (it was when lots of people were doing it). Keep us posted!

kimbo1216 · July 2012

Sounds like a good plan to me. I would increase the intervals tonight. Start at 3 instead of 1. Is he still waking at night? If so, do the same thing except try giving him 5 minutes to settle before intervening.

Good luck! Keep it up and stay consistent. Consistency is the key with sleep training.

LowTalker23 · July 2012

I agree with the other pps, you're doing great. Stay strong and consistent and it'll work itself out. Keep us updated!

emilys629 · July 2012

Lots of good advice already but I wanted to re-iterate the "checks" are not to get him to sleep or even to soothe him, they are just to say "I'm still here" really. You shouldn't linger for more than 30 seconds to a minute and when you leave the room, they might still be crying.

Just keep at it. If he's been doing this for a year it will take a little to break him out of it, but just remember how important sleep is for him and that this is the right thing!

JavaVino910 · July 2012

Just wanted to add that if he start calming down do not go in, even if it's time for a check in. Good luck!

JuneBugsMommy · July 2012

Thanks ladies! Tonight I won't pat him to sleep!

kimbo1216 · July 2012

JavaVino910:
Just wanted to add that if he start calming down do not go in, even if it's time for a check in. Good luck!

Yes. This is great advice.

Sleep training HELP!! Super long but I need advice!

Re: Sleep training HELP!! Super long but I need advice!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards