weight comment vent

lindseypraino · July 2012

Wow I can tell you how pissed I am at my mom. She always trys to stir the pot and ask provoking questions. So what is the number one provoking question to ask a women after she had a baby...her weight... Let preface...My mom has lost a lot of weight in the last several years and looks great. She often focuses conversations on food and exercise. There have been times in my life where I was in tip top shape but I never picked on other people or asked the questions about their weight. Maybe it is mother daughter thing IDK...she always asks about my weight..So today she says "have you lost anymore of your baby fat?" I was thinking are you freaking serious. What a piece of *** thing to say. I am still breastfeeding so I am careful to eat enough calories otherwise my milk tends to tank. I do try to get to the gym a couple of times a week but no I am not back to prebaby weight yet. I was 115lbs before going off my Nuva right to get pregnant. I gained 15lbs before getting pregnant and going off the ring. My pregnancy weight started at about 130. I topped my pregnancy weight at 170. I ate well during pregnancy and birthed and almost 9lb healthy baby naturally. So I am at 140lbs now. Clearly not my ideal weight but you can't really diet hard and breastfeed. I get outside to walk and to the gym when I can. I am not sure what to do about my mom. She is such is pisser and just loves the drama. I just try to ignore her but she thrives on controversy. Any thoughts???

laura.noel · July 2012

Ignore her- or tell her honestly that it's because your breast feeding her grandchild, and that's more important to you than what size clothes you're wearing. I obviously don't know your mom, but that would make me feel guilty for asking.

ssimon621 · July 2012

I understand your frustration, my Mom used to do this to me when I first got pregnant and I had to tell her how it made me feel. I have always been thin and she just kept telling me how fat I was going to be and calling me roly poly when I was still in my first trimester and hadn't really gained anything. I was already self conscious about gaining weight and she was making it worse. Once I told her how horrible she was making me feel she promised to never bring it up again. Just tell her that your weight is NOT up for discussion!

runrinserepeat · July 2012

My first thought is please, take a deep breath.

After that, I think you need to calmly explain to your mom that you'd rather not discuss your weight with her. Tell her that although her intentions may be good, she's adding more pressure to an already difficult situation. If you have questions or you want to talk about it, you'll bring it up.

And then stick to that. If she brings it up, just calmly explain that you don't discuss your weight with her and move on. If you get all riled up, you're just giving her what you think she wants (if she's indeed just trying to stir the pot). If you concede and talk about it just this once to appease her, she won't stop bringing it up. Stick to it, and she'll stop bringing it up.

Good luck.

Vii Lii · July 2012

My mom's made some offhanded comments too since the birth. I've had to flat out tell her to stop it, that it makes me feel bad. She quit after that.

MeganSony · July 2012

I think I'd just tell my mom to quit it and that she was making me feel like crap. I would explain the BFing. Plus you have done amazing so far... from 170 - 140 that is 30lbs. Yes not where you were pre baby, but seriously not too far from it. I'd say you are doing awesome and you should remind yourself and your mom of your tremendous weight loss already.

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