Military Families
Does the army frown upon a man not taking care of his child?
I became pregnant by a guy who says he is in the army. He has no desire to take care of our baby. We were never together, as in a relationship an I really don't know a lot about him. I understand how this all sounds, but I'm genuinely a good person who just wants to do the right thing.
He is telling me he has a couple more years of service left, so really, the only help he can be at this point is financially, but he doesn't even want to do that. Is there anything the army can do to make him "man up"?
Oh and I may delete this later.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does the army frown upon a man not taking care of his child?
I'd like to know what exactly the nature of his job is. Every secret squirrel I know has FB.
I have a feeling this guy has fed you a line of BS.
+1 I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't enlisted at all. I think you need to forget about the military aspect and work on trying to find out exactly who this guy is. It sounds like for all you know he may not have even given you his real name. It definitely sounds like he is hiding something huge from you and I'm guessing he has a wife/kids. Get an attorney ASAP and track the real him down.
I totally agree with this. If you know what base he is stationed at, you could try calling there. If you look up the bases Inspector General Office, they won't handle your issue for child support but they will be able to look at a list of personnel on the base and put you in contact with his unit.
CJ 05/29/2013
IMO you need a tough dose of reality. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you need to hear it.
You need to get your priorities in order. You had unprotected sex with a stranger and got knocked up. This isn't Hollywood. Katherine Heigle isn't playing you. This isn't going to have the happy ever after that it does in movie magic. You wanted advise, here goes...
1. Stop stalking this guy. It seems to me his phone number is the only way you have of getting in touch with him. Stop hounding him before he shuts his phone off and you're further up s#*t creek without a paddle. Hire an attorney...ASAP...and turn over to him any info you have on this guy. Let him handle it fom there.
2. I commend you for keeping your baby in light of the fact that the father refuses to be a part. You need to start focusing on you and your baby. First, have you been tested?? You had unprotected sex with a stranger. Let's hope the baby is the only present he gave you. You need to get to a dr and get proper care for your health and the baby's safety!
3. Assuming for a minute that the guy told you the truth and he is in fact in the army. That's good news for you...in the long run. However, right now the military will do nothing for you. You two are not married so in the eyes of the army, you are not recognized. Once the baby is born, immediately get a court ordered DNA test done. Provided he is in fact the father, the court will issue you child support. The army will take the money out of his paycheck before he even sees his check. Also, I believe that the baby will then be covered under his medical ins, but I can't be for sure on that. Something to discuss with your attorney at any rate. Finally, there's a saying in the military. The government didn't issue you a family. In layman's terms. The army is WAY to busy fighting wars and attempting to keep world peace to bother itself with two grown adults who made a series if bad decisions. They will force him to pay, but that's it. They cannot and won't enforce any type of visitation. If he doesn't want anything to do with your baby, that is sad and tragic, but that is the end of the story.
Again, sorry if this is harsh, but you need to reprioratize and start taking care of yourself and your baby. Stop fixating on this d-bag and get an attorney. Good luck!
I think she deleted her response posts in the thread that gave more info.
She did. I can't blame her.