Address your own thank you card-bleh

kellbell814 · July 2012

How do I politely tell/should I tell my sis that I don't want guests addressing their own invites as they walk through the door of my shower? For those of you who have never heard of this what happens is as guests come in they sign in by writing their name and address on individual envelops that will later be used to mail their thank you note in. The envelops are also used to draw a winner for a door prize during the event. For some reason it's a pretty common practice around here but I think it's tacky. My sis is hosting along with my BFF and she is planning on doing this. Normally I would just tell sis that I find it kinda rude to ask guests to address their own thank you envelops but don't want to hurt her feelings as she let this practice happen at her own shower. I feel like telling her "hey I know you did this at your shower but I think its tacky" would be rude and hurtful. WWYD?

BLuvsE · July 2012

MIL wanted to do this for my wedding shower and I told her I liked the personal touch of addressing my own envelopes. I told her I wanted people to know that I took the time to do it and that I actually enjoyed doing it.

She thought I was weird for enjoying writing tons of addresses, but she went along with it.

hesakeeper · July 2012

Simply tell her that you would personally prefer to hand write all TY notes/envelopes because it'd be more meaningful to you (or something along those lines).

I also do not like this trend - well, I can understand it more at baby showers than bridal showers.

Unknown · July 2012

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SoEnamored · July 2012

I'd tell her that you've already picked up the thank you notes and that you'll bring the envelopes to the shower. Then, on the day of the shower, I'd tell her that you forgot them at home/work, somewhere inconvienient.

If all else fails, just know that tacky showers tend to reflect badly on the host more-so than the mother to be.

ETA: I now see that Bliss made the same recommendation. My bad.

KarmB · July 2012

just flat out tell her

MelissaNY05 · July 2012

I just told my SIL to make sure this is not done at my shower.

chicagobridelibby · July 2012

I would just be honest, and tell her that you like to addresst envelopes yourself. There is no need to tell her you think what she did is "tackey." However, as many posters on this site like to point, it is not you hosting the shower, and aside from telling her you don't mind doing it, you can not tell her how to run the shower she is throwing.

MelleTX · July 2012

Just tell her you will be picking out special stationery for the TY notes and you prefer to hand-address them yourself. No big deal.

I recently went to a shower where the hostess tried to spring this on the guests towards the end of the shower. I could tell the MTB had a horrified look on her face she was trying to hide. The hostess made the comment, "I just want to help you out" and the MTB responded, 'Oh, I have all the addresses already, no big deal."

mollybloom · July 2012

This is pretty common around here. My mother and MIL threw my baby shower and my MIL said that she thought it was such a classy idea to have people address their envelopes. I try not to judge things as classy or classless, and I don't care when I am asked to address me own envelope, but I preferred to not have my guests do it.

I just flat out told her that I preferred to address them myself. I didn't give an explanation.

kellbell814 · July 2012

Bliss+Berry:
Wow, that's a tough one. Obviously you don't want to hurt her feelings. You could tell her that you've already bought your thank you notes and then conveniently forget them the day of the shower!

While not as honest as some suggestion, I do like this one. My sis is crazy oversensitive sometimes and saying the littlest thing can hurt her feelings. Thanks everyone!

Ivana_Stolichnaya · July 2012

Simply tell her that it's BEYOND tacky to ask people to do this at a shower and don't have people do it.

I get annoyed when my eye Dr.'s office wants me to do this for my exam reminder card. I worked behind the front desk in an office, there's no need to ask the patients to address their own cards, it's simply being lazy on the office's part

Ivana_Stolichnaya · July 2012

kellbell814:
Bliss+Berry:
Wow, that's a tough one. Obviously you don't want to hurt her feelings. You could tell her that you've already bought your thank you notes and then conveniently forget them the day of the shower!
While not as honest as some suggestion, I do like this one. My sis is crazy oversensitive sometimes and saying the littlest thing can hurt her feelings. Thanks everyone!

She needs to put on her big-girl panties and learn to deal with some "constructive criticism" when it comes to saying "absolutely not" to guests signing their own cards. If someone asked me to do that I would be so put-off towards the host and even the mom-to-be that she would be willing to go along with that.

honeybee72 · July 2012

chicagobridelibby:
However, as many posters on this site like to point, it is not you hosting the shower, and aside from telling her you don't mind doing it, you can not tell her how to run the shower she is throwing.

Yeah, I think this is one of those times it's ok to butt in and express a strong preference. I know my SILs would want me to let them know if I had my heart set on something (or equally set against something).

I agree there's a way to do this without labeling the practice as tacky or rude. I would go with the posters who suggested just telling her you feel strongly about addressing the notes yourself. I understand the posters who suggested "forgetting" your envelopes on the day of, but unless you really think she's going to be hurt by the whole thing, it feels dishonest to me.

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