Intro

JonesBaby0624 · July 2012

We lost our Vivian Rose Saturday July 21 at exactly 17 weeks. I was planning to update my blog and went to check on my 5 year old when I noticed I was bleeding heavily. I also felt like I was having a lot of fluid (later to find out my amniotic fluid was leaking) and by the time we got to the hospital my water broke. They did an ultrasound and there was a heart beat but they said my placenta was torn and there was no fluid. We chose to deliver vs D & E.

She was beautiful!! My boyfriend held her but I couldn't. I was afraid if I held her I would never let her go.

I am just so mad at myself. It has been so hot in our area that I have been letting the dog in. She got under my feet and I tripped that afternoon. I will always wonder if that is what caused this. I was dx'd with polyhydramnios the week before and I was on pelvic rest. I am just so mad at me!

ETA: Please tell me if I am on the wrong board. I felt a little more comfortable reading this one vs miscarriage.

eroplane · July 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter Vivian. I love her name. You are always welcome to vent and lean on everyone for support. We are here with you. Please take it easy on yourself. Big hugs.

weddedwife · July 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, you are in the right place. We all feel guilt about some aspect of our loss, I can guarantee you that.

I hope you are able to find comfort here.

dandywarhol · July 2012

I'm so sorry for the loss of little Vivian. It is normal to try to figure out what went wrong and the reasons for your loss. I'm not a dr. but I don't think tripping over your dog would cause your loss. (I worried about all the bending and carrying of laundry I did the day we lost our daughter at 21w due to a placental abruption.) Sadly terrible, horrible, unfair things happen for no reason. And it sucks. I'm sorry to have to welcome you here but you are in the right place. I hope the women of this board can help you find some peace and comfort.

karebear57 · July 2012

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet Vivian. The women here have been so wonderful and helpful. We all blame ourselves, it's natural since we were carrying and caring for our babies. Just know it was not your fault. I know it's easier said than done. We are all here for you whenever you need us.

sebailey6 · July 2012

Yes, you are absolutely in the right place. We lost our baby July 19th at 21 weeks. So I know how new and painful it feels right now. I wasn't sure how I would be taken on here, but the women have been so loving and supportive,,,,afterall...we all totally understand what you are going through. You are not alone in this. Write as much or as little as you want. You can even pm me if you like.

sebailey6 · July 2012

And I am extremely sorry for the loss of your little Vivian.

Williamandshawnna · July 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Vivian. You are in the right place for support during this difficult time. As previous posters have mentioned, the what ifs and why this all happened will bombard you daily. Know that what happened is not your fault, it is natural for us to blame ourselves. I wish you and your family peace and comfort through this journey. ~~~HUGS~~~

-Shawnna

jbranden12 · July 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your Vivian Rose. Please don't blame yourself, you loved your daughter. I hope you can find some comfort here.

Mrs Nice · July 2012

I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter, Vivian.

Please be gentle with yourself. There is no way you could have known or prevented what happened. The "what if" question is something a lot of us ask ourselves every day. The pain and guilt are so fresh right now but trust me when I say that it really does get easier to carry. It doesn't go away, but it does get easier.

You are absolutely in the right place tho I wish you didn't have to join us. The ladies here are wonderful. Please don't be shy to post anything you need to.

Big hugs to you!