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Baby Showers
Faith 21
member
Baby shower after baby???
Faith 21
member
in Baby Showers
I am not opposed to this at all. My due date is September 20. My church wants to throw a shower on the 30th of September. What bothers me is the reason they want to do this is LO will be here and they can love and kiss and pass him around. I was not going to take him out in a public place like that for about 6 weeks and because I have a lot of health problems and get sick easy Iand don't want to get him and I sick , I am not so sure I like the idea of people's hands , that i don't know where they have been, to be all over my child at 10 days old. Am I wrong to feel this way? What should I do?
Colty Bug's Mommy
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Baby shower after baby???
A couple of the ladies at church also offered to throw me a shower in mid to late September. I'm going to push for the last weekend in September (the 29th) or first weekend in October because I'd like Albert to be about a month old before he gets passed around. If you aren't comfortable with allowing your LO to be passed around at a week and a half old, just tell them you'd feel more comfortable if they waited a month or two to allow you time to recover from giving birth.
I also plan on making hand sanitizer available for guests.
Hope that helps.
From personal experience...
I had my baby shower after my daughter was born, also in September. It was nice seeing everyone and catching up but that was about it. I was really worried about passing her around too, luckily she didn't get sick since it's cold and flu season. I also ended up having to have a c section so my shower ended up needing to be postponed as I definitely wasn't up for it on it's original date of only 2 weeks after the birth. Because of this a lot of people couldn't make it:(
Also, a lot of people complained that I already had everything. Of course I had all of the necessary gear, clothes etc. since I needed these things in the few couple of weeks. There were still things on my registry, although no one bought off of it! haha, oh well! It kept my shopping organized!
To sum it up, I would have preferred to have it before as I was tired out and sore and didn't like passing my baby around! Although I was grateful I had a shower and it was nice to catch up I would recommend having one before if offered.
Your baby's health comes before their feelings. Just say no. "I really appreciate your offer, but I'm not going to be comfortable bringing and having my (possibly) 10 day old passed around. Dont' worry- once we feel comfortable bringing LO out, we'll bring LO to church so everyone can see and hold the baby!" - all said w/ a smile and upbeat.
They push the issue? You push back. "I'm not going to be comfortable w/ the baby being passed around. If a shower is thrown that soon, I will not be bringing the baby.". THey can "make it clear" all they want - it's not their child and not their decision.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Okay, so some moms are really relaxed and awesome about this stuff.
Me? I was not. I would get very anxious if other people were holding him for those first few weeks (hell, 2 months) and once DS got pink eye from someone, I lost my *** and became very protective (I had a late fall baby though)
Also, keep in mind that your recovery may not be great. I couldn't sit down straight until about 6 or 8 weeks postpartum. I was also having a horrid bladder recovery and was still self-cathertizing every few hours until week 3. Just saying...some women bounce right back and some don't.
I would accept the shower for maybe 3 weeks after, and wear LO. Do you have a moby wrap or something like that? That is what I would do. And if people ask to hold him, simply say that the pediatrician advised that you wait until his first set of shots are over before passing him around, but that you can't wait until they can hold her in a few more weeks.
Honestly, they can make it clear all they want that they want to hold him and not use santizer, your baby, your rules. I adopted that saying very fast LOL
I never ask to hold people's babies, I always let mom offer. Then I wash my hands and arms up to my elbows.
NO WAY at 10 days old. Unless your delivery is scheduled you may still be in the hospital then. I say wait until baby's born and then schedule it 8 weeks later.
My family wants to do this too - including the passing aroud of baby. I asked the pediatrician and she thought it was an unnecessary risk to have the shower before 8 weeks. So, we're just going to wait.
Hand sanitizer only solves part of the problem - I'd be more worried about their saliva and breathing on baby. And people have different ideas of sick. They might think, oh well I am just getting over a cold I am sure I am fine to go and hold a baby. Ugh. And never mind the whooping cough risk.
Goodness these ladies are selfish. They want you, a brand new, recovery mom to bring a 10 +/-day baby out and then kiss and hold him and not wash their hands? Sheesh.
I like PP idea about wearing baby. Maybe tell the ladies that is too soon, but 4 weeks (or w/e) after would be great, and then wear baby and say you can look but not touch, Pediatrician's orders.
10 days is pretty young. I've hosted 2 showers after the LO's arrived but they were both 3 weeks only. Those mom's didn't want them passed around and I told them to "wear" the baby. That way people could look but not touch. Not too many will actually "reach in" to touch the baby when he/she is right next to your body. It worked for them.
My kids were all 3 weeks when we held our "Welcome Baby BBQ's" and the only people that held him was my mom, DH's mom, and a dear lady we've know for ever and was dying of cancer (she only held my one DS for a minute). It is a picture we will always treasure.
You really don't know when your LO will be born (unless you have a scheduled C-section). I would suggest that they have it maybe in October sometime...and suggest they can use Harvest/Fall decorations (and maybe reuse them for something else if they have a "harvest party" for the kids of the church. Some churches don't "do" Halloween I know (my old church - Baptist - didn't). Plus, you would feel more up for a party if they give you a little more time.