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I hate myself. New to this. UPDATED

ImThisBabysMomImThisBabysMom member
in Postpartum Depression
Can PPD start after 3 months? I'm so depressed and angry. I'm ashamed. I yelled in her face and threw a table (not anywhere in her direction). It was like I watched someone else do it. Then I felt horrible and ctied and held her and just kept saying sorry. It's been hard to admit it to H but I talked to him today. I need to call my Dr Monday. I haven't researched ppd to see if it fits my feelings. I'm hoping opening up about it will help me deal with it.

Talked to my Dr today. It was difficult but i was open and honest. She believes its PPD and not the bcp I'm on. She gave me suggestions like making sure I get 'me time.' She prescribed me Lexapro to try. So hopefully everything is downhill from here.
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Re: I hate myself. New to this. UPDATED

  • Amanda2011Amanda2011 member
    I am pretty sure that it can.  Calling your dr is the right move. Mine started around two months but has gotten much worse at three. Talking to my husband has helped me a lot. I tried to hide how I was feeling and it made everything worse. 
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  • ImThisBabysMomImThisBabysMom member
    I just started birth control pills. My nurse friend said it might be that. Either way I need to go to the Dr to find out.
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  • katieh1017katieh1017 member

    imageAmanda2011:
    I am pretty sure that it can.  Calling your dr is the right move. Mine started around two months but has gotten much worse at three. Talking to my husband has helped me a lot. I tried to hide how I was feeling and it made everything worse. 

    This was for me too with the timing. I've been taking meds for about 5 weeks. I got the dosage increased 2 weeks ago. I'm still crying a lot, sad and I also have had anger. Right before I went to the doc I threw a bunch of her bottles because I was pissed about switching to Dr Browns from drop ins.

    Just call the doctor and go in. My OB said if the increase in dosage didn't work I might need a different med and go to a psychiatrist. So I'm doing that Wed. I'm fine with it, I just want to feel better and enjoy my baby more. But part of me felt dismissed like, we can't help you if this med doesn't work, idk. I talk to DH about it. He's been doing everything lately because I'm just not myself. I feel a lot of the time like you said after you threw the table. Its not a good feeling.

    One last thing... I had good days and bad days so I just waited to call the doctor hoping it would go away. Then I hit a brick wall and it was bad. I should have known better.  Good luck! 

    Lillian April 17, 2012
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  • winter-shockwinter-shock member
    PPD can come up anytime in the first year. It doesn't always happen right away. I think it's great you are going to contact your doctor. I hop eyou start feeling better soon!
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  • cbmp06cbmp06 member
    Yes, it can start after three months.  I had PPD bad the first few weeks after birth and then it came back again when DD was about three months.  Good for you for opening up and dealing with it, and especially for admitting things to your husband, that couldn't have been easy but it is the first step.  Even if you are feeling better, call the dr. on Monday.  I tend to put off calling the dr, or admitting how bad things are when I am feeling better and then I get in a bad way and have to wait to see the dr, etc.  Don't put it off.  Do it for yourself and your baby.  You should be enjoying this time and your baby girl right now.  Good luck, mama. 
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  • CozfijibrideCozfijibride member
    I went on BCP after DS was born. I was a raging lunatic. Went off them and I was fine. I'll never go back on those things !
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  • ImThisBabysMomImThisBabysMom member
    Thank you all for your comments. I'm doing ok today. But I worry how tomorrow will go. I think it helps to understand that I have a problem. So if i start to feel like I can't handle it....I KNOW I need to walk away from her and call my H or someone. Nervous to call the Dr. Admitting how I feel is difficult. I feel like I will be judged. I know that's not the case with the Dr....I just feel nervous to talk about it. But I also know its for the best so I will do it. Either its PPD or the pill I'm on. I know going to the Dr is the only way to fix it.
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