Confession - I judged a mom hard today

gblake · July 2012

DH, DS and I went to Big W today (which is like Wal-Mart in the states). There was a little boy about 6 years old crying and looking frantic. I asked DH to approach him and ask him if he was lost. We found out he was and went with him to find someone in the store to page his mom. The store clerk was awesome. She asked his name and his mom's name and then paged her. It didn't take the mom long to get to us but she barely stopped and was on her cell phone the entire time. She didn't acknowledge the store clerk or thank her. She just carried on her conversation with the person on the phone and said 'oh, Cooper was just lost'. We ended up thanking the store clerk for her help.

I judged her so hard. Maybe Cooper (her son) gets lost a lot who knows but to not even say thank you to someone when they paged you because your son is lost is low, low, low. Also on the way out she was still on her cell phone and her son was reaching for her hand and she kept shoo-ing it away. I wanted to kick her in her teeth at that point.

MrsAB1316 · July 2012

Ugh...I would have judged HARD. And, because my filter is broken these days, I'd have said something to her. I'm usually in the camp of not interfering with someone else's parenting/disciplining, but if a child is/could be in danger, I have no problem. Thank God you guys were there to help him and not some random stranger who could have kidnapped him. Or worse. It just makes me sick to think about.

3monkeysmama · July 2012

Wow. That is so sad!! I feel bad for that little guy!

gblake · July 2012

MrsAB1316:
Ugh...I would have judged HARD. And, because my filter is broken these days, I'd have said something to her. I'm usually in the camp of not interfering with someone else's parenting/disciplining, but if a child is/could be in danger, I have no problem. Thank God you guys were there to help him and not some random stranger who could have kidnapped him. Or worse. It just makes me sick to think about.

My heart broke when I saw the little boy crying at first and then it broke all over again when she wouldn't hold his hand. I would have said something if my mouth wasn't on the floor. DH and I were just astonished.

ilovelife · July 2012

That's really sad. Poor kid. I can't stand when people carry on full length phone conversations in a store.

isacdimi10 · July 2012

Poor little boy. I feel bad for him.

Also I probably would have kicked her. Seriously I get that kids wander off but being all like "Whatever" and not even acknowledging the people helping you is just rude. Then she had to go act like a b?tch to the poor kid.

mom2skh · July 2012

I'd have judged her too. There are too many sick, crazy people out there today to act so unimpressed that your child was lost! I am so thankful that you found him and not someone who may have taken him. Ugh. Get off the phone and hold your kid's hand, lady!

Holly_1007 · July 2012

just playing devils advocate a little bit. is it possible the boy had a tendency to wander off and the mom was trying to teach him something?

if thats NOT the case, then I truly feel sorry for the little boy, I would be beside myself in hysterics if DS were lost in a store

mystrana · July 2012

Steph+J:
holly71087:
just playing devils advocate a little bit. is it possible the boy had a tendency to wander off and the mom was trying to teach him something?
You teach your child not to wander off by blatantly ignoring them and refusing attention? By intentionally refusing to hold their hand in a parking lot? And what are you teaching them by not saying thank you to the couple and employee who helped your son?
hmm. I guess I do have a lot to learn as a FTM.

I agree that I don't know what kind of lesson the mom would be teaching. The way the story was told, the way the mom was on the phone the entire time - it sounds much less like teaching and much more like the kid is this horrible inconvenience.

And actually I wonder if he has a tendency to wander off just so he can try to find affection. I do judge that mom.

ajcorbs13 · July 2012

OH WOW mom of the year! If she was trying to teach him a lesson I think she would have been near him just to make sure to CRAZY walks away with her child! When he started crying and was concerned or when you walked up to him she would have been right there knowing where her son is and knowing he was safe to teach him a lesson!

I so would have said something to her... my give a damn broke awhile ago and that just is upsetting!!!

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

I just told H about this. His mouth was hanging open in shock the whole time.

He said next time what you do is you take the phone from her, turn it side ways, and shove it up her @ss. Maybe then she'll have more time to pay attention to her son.

isacdimi10 · July 2012

Steph+J:
She'd probably be the first to sue the store if something happened to her kid while he was lost, too. I hate parents like that- I would have judged too. It's not your child's fault that you feel so inconvenienced by him.
I worked at Target all through HS, and we'd have 'lost' kids every once in awhile. The parents were always frantic and so worried. As sad and scary as it was, it was almost nice in a way? To see that they cared so much. (I hope that makes sense.) FWIW- the kids were almost always hiding in clothes racks.

I was like 4 and I was playing hide'n'seek from my brother. My mom who is normally very level headed started panicking when I didn't respond to the page (BTW trying to page a 4yr old doesn't work often). She actually had an asthma attack. That was the last time I wandered off from her. I was so upset to see how upset I made her it left an impression.

If she was trying to teach a lesson she should have over played her fear. I don't know many (if any) children who enjoy making their mom's scared/upset.

jbBeans · July 2012

I would have judged her, too. She probably lost her kid (or he was able to wander off) BECAUSE she was on her phone and not paying attention to him. I know kids can wander off and be lost even by good parents, but the whole thing just sounds like she frequently doesn't pay much attention. Poor little guy.

Terri--Love YH's reaction!

sugarsnap73 · July 2012

terri_doula2010:

I just told H about this. His mouth was hanging open in shock the whole time.

He said next time what you do is you take the phone from her, turn it side ways, and shove it up her @ss. Maybe then she'll have more time to pay attention to her son.

Yes your DH rocks!

BakerMommy · July 2012

holly71087:
just playing devils advocate a little bit. is it possible the boy had a tendency to wander off and the mom was trying to teach him something?

if thats NOT the case, then I truly feel sorry for the little boy, I would be beside myself in hysterics if DS were lost in a store

She very well may be "trying" to teach him a lesson, but she's pretty much doing it in the most ineffective way possible. It sounds like someone told her "Don't give attention to bad behavior" and she heard "Ignore your child when he misbehaves". It's a recipe for the kid to act out more (and more drastically) just to get mom to pay attention.

Wander away in the store? You have lost the privilege of walking on your own--now you must hold mom's hand or wear a leash or whatever (not to start another leash debate, though Wink ). Then you gradually earn the privilege of being within 3' of mom, not holding her hand.

Or my personal favorite (to be used only if the child has been taught not to wander away and still does--I don't think I'd bring out the big guns for a first offense): "Well, you've shown me you can't be trusted in the store, so I guess I'll have to hire a babysitter when I need to go to the store. Babysitters aren't free, so you'll have to figure out how to pay for one. Do you think you'll use your birthday money, do extra chores, or sell some toys? Let me know what you decide."

Want a personalized experience?

Confession - I judged a mom hard today

Re: Confession - I judged a mom hard today

Choose Another Board

Search Boards