Breastfeeding Moms, come in please :)

OUKatie · July 2012

DD is 5 days old. I'm having trouble getting her to nurse every 2-3 hours consistently. Sometimes she will go longer, no matter what we do to get her interested (undressed for skin-to-skin, clean, offering the breast frequently). She has had about 3 stretches where she has gone 4-5 hours between nursing sessions because she refuses to nurse.

Anyway, what do you think? I'm conflicted...on one hand, she isn't likely to starve herself because she has plenty of wet and dirty diapers, a great latch (she can pop herself on and off correctly), and really does love nursing. When she wants it, she wants it and doesn't hesitate to latch on. On the other hand, I'm nervous about her not gaining enough weight because she won't always eat frequently enough.

Our biggest issue is at night. She wants to sleep longer and will refuse to eat if I wake her to eat before she's ready (even though I wait until it's been 3 hours). Last night, DH and I tried for about 30 minutes with her getting more and more upset. We finally decided to just swaddle and shush her, let her sleep another hour, then try again. Sure enough, after an hour, she happily latched right on and did a normal feeding.

I apologize for the rambliness. I feel like we are forcing her and making our nights hard trying to get her to do something she just won't do (and upsetting her) but I know we're not supposed to go too long between feedings.

My plan is to continue offering frequently (every 2ish hours) during the day, then waking her every 3 hours at night to offer the breast. If she refuses, let her go back to sleep and try again an hour later. Does this sound terrible?

RTaylor12 · July 2012

I wouldn't stress so much about it. My pediatrician (and most pediatricians, from what I gather reading other people's comments on the subject) advised that when she reached her birth weight, I could stop waking her at night for feedings. Maybe her tummy is smaller than usual and she can remain satisfied for longer, who knows? As long as she's making plenty of dirty diapers and gaining weight, I would enjoy the extra sleep!

katybug499 · July 2012

I want to say first that you'll know more when you do a weight check at the pediatrician but here's my experience:

Maia does the exact same thing! Right now she's a little over 2 weeks old and wakes herself after about 2-3 hours and I don't have to worry about it. But then (and sometimes still at night) when she was about 5-9 days old she'd go 4-5 hour stretches without eating. I hated it! Waking her was seriously impossible and just made her mad so I stopped trying unless it was getting on to 6 hours (which never actually happened).

She gained almost a full pound in her first week and a half of life...so I don't even check the time between her feedings anymore. I know every baby is different but this just sounds *so* familiar. Just like your DD, she latches great, eats willingly when she does wake up, and has tons of peed and pooped diapers through the day.

I wouldn't worry

APendola · July 2012

I ran into the same problem. She was breastfeeding great the first few days - but around day four or five, she seemed to want to sleep more. My mom and MIL are both here and they encouraged me to take advantage and sleep. But my breasts were used to feeding often and they got engorged. Now she can't latch on and she went so long without a feeding that I was forced to pump and give her bottles. I didn't want to pump so early (she is 8 days old now). I'm not sure if I'll be able to get her back onto to the breast and I'm really frustrated.

So try your best to wake her up and feed her. It helps sometimes if someone else can be in the room to tickle her feet or something. Changing her diaper and holding her skin to skin helps. You don't want to go to long of a stretch without feeding her.

apollonia10 · July 2012

I hate when they won't wake up to eat! It's so unnerving because you have the food, and you just want to feed them, and they are totally unwakeable. It is so frustrating!

Once she makes her birth weight, your pediatrician will probably give you permission to let her sleep at night and just wake her up every 3 hours during the day. DS totally did this same thing at 5 days, and now we go almost exclusively on hunger cues, with the exception of an occasional long nap during the day (we have to rouse him after 3 hours). It's a much less frustrating life. Hang in there!

OUKatie · July 2012

Thank you, everyone. I feel so much better. I think she's going to be okay weight-wise...she hadn't lost much at her pedi appt on Friday morning and we have her 2-week appt this coming Friday (a few days early). I think I'm going to go to the breastfeeding support group meeting tomorrow morning and weigh her on their scale just to see how we're coming along since she hadn't really had any truly successful nursing sessions between the time my milk came in and our appt Friday morning. I want to see how she is doing now that my milk is in. If she has gained some, then I'm not going to worry myself over it. In the end, I can't force her to nurse when she isn't hungry anyway.

robsbride! · July 2012

she'll eat when she is hungry...as long as she has dirty diapers (especially poop) you are ok...you should have an appointment with your dr soon right? if you are worried make an appointment...but if you are getting several dirty diapers a day she is eating plenty!! also remember BF babies poop less than formula feed.

Vive · July 2012

We were told in the hospital that feeds during the day should be every two to three hours, but that at night (especially middle of the night feeds) could/should be spaced 4 hours apart.

Which sounds close to what you are thinking of doing anyway

The other thing the LC/nurses told us was that baby should be fed 8-10 times a day... So every 2 hours on the dot would be more than that anyway.

caralck · July 2012

We were told to make sure she gets in at least 8 feeds per 24 hrs and to follow baby's schedule but ideally, not to go longer than 4 hrs between feeds. Baby typically wakes and feeds every 2-4 hrs. Last night she went almost 6 hrs. She's made up for it today by feeding every 2 hrs consistently. Since she's certainly gaining weight, I'm not worried about it but my boobs were rock hard engorged when she finally did wake to feed at night and since I had no motivation to pump in the middle of the night, by the time morning rolled around, managed to get almost 6 oz pumped after she fed.

trish051003 · July 2012

First off you are doing great!

You can't force her is right. As long as she is gaining you are good. Until they reach their birth weight is when you have to do the waking. Try to get those feedings in other times during the day if she's awake, offer her more.

Definitally go to your BF support group. The LC will give you tips on how to keep her awake (I washed my babies face - when she wasn't gaining and I needed to keep feeding her sleepy little self). But they may stress you need to do more, but don't worry so much as long as she's gained.

I highly doubt they had these rules 20 years ago and you just fed the baby when they asked.

OUKatie · July 2012

Today has been so much better with not stressing over it when she's not interested in eating. I'm just watching her closely for hunger cues and feeding when she gives her cues. She has had nursing sessions 2 hours apart then nursing sessions 3 1/2 hours apart. We're closing in on 3 1/2 hours now and I tried when we changed her diaper but she's not interested right now so she's chillin' in her swing for a bit. Going to try again in 30 minutes. She has PLENTY of wet and dirty diapers. I'm just going to go with her cues because she's a really chill baby and seems to know what she needs.

af2004rn · July 2012

APendola:

But my breasts were used to feeding often and they got engorged. Now she can't latch on and she went so long without a feeding that I was forced to pump and give her bottles. I didn't want to pump so early (she is 8 days old now). I'm not sure if I'll be able to get her back onto to the breast and I'm really frustrated.

Have you tried expressing just enough milk to release the engorgement so she can latch? I think this is a pretty common problem. With my DD, I just used a cloth diaper and hand expressed enough milk so that she could actually nurse. It worked for us.

af2004rn · July 2012

With my DD, I really wanted her to sleep at night. So during the day, I never let her sleep more than 3 hours. Sometimes I'd feed her every 2-3 hours duing the day and then let her sleep as long as she wanted at night. It was AWESOME.

Yes, I did get engorged, but to be honest, that probably would have happened anyway. Since I had to go back to work, I either hand expressed enough to relieve the pressure so I could go back to sleep or pumped and froze it. Pumping, will not help the engorgement problem though, because it tells your body the baby still needs that much milk.

As long as you don't have a weight issue with a preterm baby, it should be fine to let them sleep 4-5 hours at night. I wouldn't stress about it.

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