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December 2012 Moms
nikkimom77
member
Question for 2nd Time Moms
nikkimom77
member
If you are having a baby the same sex as your first, are you happy?
I found out yesterday that I am having another boy. I am super excited (and grateful) that baby is healthy and that my DS will have a brother. However, this is my last pregnancy and it is still sinking in that I will never have a daughter. I'm just trying to accept that. Part of me would have been really happy with a girl since it would be a diferent experience...
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Re: Question for 2nd Time Moms
I'm not a second time mom but wanted to say that it's normal to be disappointed. It's no different than anything else in life that you hope for. When you find out something isnt what you thought or hoped it's ok to be upset. Whata important is how you deal with it. If it causes you abnormal depression that you just can't shake, you'd need to seek out therapy just like any you would for any event in your life.
It doesn't mean you aren't happy about your son or that you don't love him.
DD#1 December '12
DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
Married 07/09
BFP#1 on 02/14/09 BIRTH to Mason 6lb9oz on 10/12/09
BFP#2 on 5/28/11 EDD 2/1/12 Natural M/C on 6/13/11
BFP#3 on 1/20/12 EDD 9/30/12 Natural m/c on 1/27/12
BFP#4 on 4/23/12 BIRTH to Isabella 7lb1oz on 12/19/12
In some ways I feel it will be easier having another boy than having a daughter, because it's familiar territory. I'm more accustomed to baby boys because I had one, and any little boy I've been around has been so much fun. That said, I may try and convince DH for just one more (we'll see if I'm still saying that in a few years!), because I would love a daughter of my own as well, and for SD to get her baby sister.
Overall, I'm just happy to be having a baby, period.
When I got pregnant, both DH and I were hoping for another girl (since they will be close in age). We both agreed that if they were spread out more (this was unplanned) that we would be hoping for a boy, but since they are so close in age, that we thought a girl would be better for DD and also easier since they will be interested in the same things at the same time. We found out LO2 was a girl and DH couldn't have acted happier. I have had a few moments of brief disappointment just because I think this is our last, but mostly I am just trying to be grateful that our wish came true and that LO will have an amazing best friend for life! I wish I would have had a sister so close in age! My sister is 6 years younger than me, so we are in completely different life stages right now.
I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I had dreams before I found out the sex that we were having a boy, and I woke up weeping (don't know why) and realized how much I wanted a girl. Then, I had dreams about having a girl and woke up sad (again, don't know why). Now that we know, I have found a lot of peace in the situation (especially since you don't control it) and couldn't be happier to have "my girls."
As long as this baby is healthy and DH is happy, than I am happy. Besides, just b/c they are the same gender doesn't mean that they will be the same. I am very different from my sister! We don't even look alike!
Congrats on your "boys."
So many blessings for your family! Just remember that you love your son more than yourself, and he will probably benefit more from having a sibling of the same gender (easier to relate to, play with, etc). My brother never had a brother, and he always said he wished that he did. My DH never had a brother either, and always wished that he did. Thankfully, they are both very close now and have their own brother in law.
I would have felt the same way - we were going to find out the sex with #2, but on the way to the u/s, I told DH we couldn't. I was afraid if I found out it was another boy, I would feel a little sad, and I didn't want to be sad! So we waited until delivery and I did get a little girl - but by then, I had been prepared for having another boy, and how great it would have been for DS to have a brother.
I think your reaction is completely normal!!
I think that if I find out I am having another boy, I will feel the same way as you do, at first. Genuinely, I really do just want a take-home baby, but there will be that teeny-tiny piece of me that will "mourn" the loss of that as a possible experience, but I definitely don't think it will last long at all, and I think a little brother would be great for DS and hope that they will be best buddies.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart