Community› The Bump Message Boards› Pre-School and Daycare
Pre-School and Daycare
New Discussion

How do you handle "fresh" talk?

ling79ling79 member
in Pre-School and Daycare

DS will be 4 next month and he seems to have developed an "arsenal" of words that he likes to throw out.  Such as "shutup, idiot, damnit, a$$, I hate you, etc"  These are not words that I approve of and are not said in my house not sure where he picked them up.  The more I tell him not to say them the more the does.  I have tried ignoring, and then I have tried time outs but nothing seems to stick.  Today he called my 87 year old grandma an idiot.

Help!

Report Reply to Post

Re: How do you handle "fresh" talk?

  • salesmomsalesmom member
    My daughter loves charlie brown and called me a blockhead the other day (I did go in the other room and giggle while she was in time out.  It got me mad but it was funny!).  I get really firm with her and sit her in timeout.  After timeout, I always have her repeat to me the reason why she is in it in the first place.  That always seems to help!  Good luck :)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member

    where's he picking it up if not from you - TV?

    DD used those words pretty rarely and we normally tell her not to use them, they aren't nice.  I will also just walk away w/o a word when she does that.  I think if she did that to my grandmother, etc. I'd just pick her up w/o word and leave the room and then we'd haver a very quiet discussion about how mean that was and get her to apologize immediately or we'd leave.

    She called somebody/something "stupid" the other day and I sort of freaked out and was like where did that come from - and DH pointed out that I regularly call some inanimate objects/activities "stupid" and DD was using it the exact same way with the same tone as me.  Yay!! 

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • PeskyPesky member
    Wow.  Yeah, DD tried I hate you and stupidhead and I cracked down on that like she'd dropped the f-bomb.  Big "NO" and timeout and that if she wanted to talk like that, she could sit by herself because I don't like being with people who are ugly in the way they talk.  Few times of that with a consistent response and she got the message.  Also, if DD called my parents or grandmother an idiot, same as above plus an apology to the offended party.


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

    Report Reply
  • KatFCoKatFCo member

    DD started with stuff like that around the same age. She had never heard curse words before, but she liked to say "I hate you" and "stupid." Sometimes it's because they're mimicking what they've heard, so find out where he heard them and let him know they're not acceptable words.

    Other times, they're playing and trying to see what they can get away with, or they're truly upset and trying to express that. With DD, we try not to fly off the handle and instead let her know saying things like that is not acceptable. If she won't stop, we send her to her room until she's ready to be polite. At that point, it's up to her to decide when she's ready to come out.

    If you think he's doing it to get a reaction, I'd suggest, once he knows it's unacceptable, ignoring it to defuse the situation. For "I hate you," my mom used to always respond, "I'm sorry to hear that. I still love you." Worked like a charm.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • flyingsaucerflyingsaucer member

    We do time outs at our house.  You have to be very consistent.  Have you tried the book 123 Magic? I don't agree with the whole book, but the premise is pretty good and works well. 

     

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • byrne15byrne15 member
    The only thing ds has ever said was "stupid".  When he said it, I just told him it wasn't nice to say.  Then he tried telling me, "well ________ says it".  I again just explained that it is not nice and I don't like to hear that.  Now he is the word police and will tell my mom, sister, etc. not to say "stupid".

    ~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
    My IF blog
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Report Reply
  • AVioletVAVioletV member

    imagebyrne15:
    The only thing ds has ever said was "stupid".  When he said it, I just told him it wasn't nice to say.  Then he tried telling me, "well ________ says it".  I again just explained that it is not nice and I don't like to hear that.  Now he is the word police and will tell my mom, sister, etc. not to say "stupid".

    I now have a "nice word cop" in my house, too. I noticed that when she picked up my saying "stupid" (or worse) :/ , I started using funny replacements, like "oh that's phoney baloney" and "Oh, SNICKERS!". They seem much more interesting to her, and always makes me laugh when she uses them herself. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • MKDeeMKDee member

    We told DS that the only time he was allowed to use the word idiot was when he was talking to bugs (he was going through a phase in which he was terrified of bugs). If he used it any other time, he went to time out. It worked really well- it gave him some power over something that scared him, gave him an excuse to use a "forbidden" word in a safe way, and it took away the novelty of using it with people. Now if he overhears DH or I call someone an idiot, he reminds us "that word is only for bugs!". 

    I wouldn't recommend it for the really bad words, but for the tamer ones, it worked for us. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"