Not getting an epidural is selfish

bandwife · July 2012

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67485725.aspx

Lovely comment at the end of page one that not getting an epidural is selfish. From someone in the medical field no less.

No wonder so many women feel unsupported trying to go med free...

judahsmommy1 · July 2012

Ummm.... I will be in the middle of delivering a BABY! I'm okay with being selfish right about then. Everyone else can just deal with it. I'm a little bewildered by the comment though. How exactly is it selfish?

vintagejjane · July 2012

How in the world is not getting an epidural selfish?

::sigh:: & ::eye roll::

kincaid44 · July 2012

Wow...that is ridiculous.

phq2011 · July 2012

Never mind that other members of the medical community encourage against it due to side-effects on the baby and mother. Plus the risks of having a NEEDLE IN YOUR SPINE! I can respect people who choose to have an epidural, but don't call someone selfish for not getting one.

Tash13 · July 2012

You'd think somebody would say the opposite. That getting pain medication so you don't have to feel something is selfish. I don't think it's selfish either way, just personal beliefs and preference, but who am I forcing to suffer by doing things med-free?

clariknittist · July 2012

Whaaaaaa? I know epidurals are considered safe, but I personally just don't want ANYthing like that getting into my little baby's system. I'm willing to go through any amount of pain for that, but that is my personal choice. I'm sort of a weird one about things like that - I don't like taking any kind of medication if I can help it. I don't think moms who go in with a plan of natural birth are doing it out of pride, although I would imagine one of the cool side benefits afterwards is realizing how much strength you actually have and there's probably no other feeling like it.

I really try not to judge anyone who's made an early decision about their birth plan one way or another, because it's not my business, just like my plan is not their business - so that kind of non-diplomatic comment is especially irksome...good for you for saying something (in a very diplomatic way, too)!

kfrasier624 · July 2012

I saw this and was shocked and replied on that thread too! Probably one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Our bodies were built to do this, it's not a medical emergency, it's natural!

BransonsBecca · July 2012

I'm just trying to figure out at what point do we consider giving birth to be in the same realm as "suffering?"

I was under the impression that I was a woman and that my body was built for the intensity of natural childbirth? Maybe its just me....

overtonhayes · July 2012

Not trying to defend her, just trying to make sense of it: maybe she meant "focusing more on what you want rather than what is medically necessary is selfish" ? Granted, epidurals are not medically necessary, but maybe that's what she was trying to say? Or is confusing them with something else?

Also baffled.

Maybe it's a "you're making the focus on you and how tough you are, not the baby" thing? In which case, boooooooooooo.

Tash13 · July 2012

overtonhayes:
Not trying to defend her, just trying to make sense of it: maybe she meant "focusing more on what you want rather than what is medically necessary is selfish" ? Granted, epidurals are not medically necessary, but maybe that's what she was trying to say? Or is confusing them with something else?
Also baffled.
Maybe it's a "you're making the focus on you and how tough you are, not the baby" thing? In which case, boooooooooooo.

Psh, it is about me. The baby just had to be born, I had to get it here!

overtonhayes · July 2012

Tash13:
overtonhayes:
Not trying to defend her, just trying to make sense of it: maybe she meant "focusing more on what you want rather than what is medically necessary is selfish" ? Granted, epidurals are not medically necessary, but maybe that's what she was trying to say? Or is confusing them with something else?
Also baffled.
Maybe it's a "you're making the focus on you and how tough you are, not the baby" thing? In which case, boooooooooooo.
Psh, it is about me. The baby just had to be born, I had to get it here!

*chuckles*

I sent you a PM, by the way.

caralck · July 2012

Very odd discussion over there. My choice to try to do it pain med free maybe was selfish in the sense that I wanted to know that I could do it. And knowing that my baby would be better for it if I had succeeded. It felt more selfish when I gave in and got the epidural.

bornmommy · July 2012

Selfishly choosing pain... Hmmmm... Sign me up!

nosoup4u · July 2012

LULZ. She sounds like a peach.

StefandTodd · July 2012

The ignorance in that post makes me twitchy. Similar one on my BMB having the same effect. No gold ribbon, no need to suffer, blah blah blah...the equally offensive opposite phrases are neeeeeever okay, but somehow these things remain okay to say in the presence of women who make a different choice. It's pretty difficult to understand, to say the least.

nosoup4u · July 2012

StefandTodd:
The ignorance in that post makes me twitchy. Similar one on my BMB having the same effect. No gold ribbon, no need to suffer, blah blah blah...the equally offensive opposite phrases are neeeeeever okay, but somehow these things remain okay to say in the presence of women who make a different choice. It's pretty difficult to understand, to say the least.

You didn't get a gold ribbon?!?! Hee.

MommyMelRN · July 2012

ICarriedAWatermelon:
PS - I'm glad you said something. Can't believe you were the first!

My thoughts exactly! She reminds me of the young female OB in BOBB who was so confused at the idea of not having continuous fetal monitoring...ugh.

SpruceGrouse · July 2012

Strange. So I guess I am selfish because I am not allowed to get one for medical reasons. It is selfish for me to stay alive for my baby?

mystrana · July 2012

My guess is it's "selfish" to let others see you in pain when they don't have to? I am unsure.

I think that it's great that we have choices in labor and it's not selfish to research and choose what will work best for you.

overtonhayes · July 2012

On an only slightly-related note, I think that more people should prepare for a natural birth, even if they are dead-set on the epidural. DH used to come home from work and 'warn me' that today another woman told him that I shouldn't go natural becayse they couldn't get the epidural and it was hell. I think that there's a big difference between wanting an epidural and not being able to have one, and being prepared to not have one. Sure, you may have completely made up your mind that you want the epidural, and that's your decision and fine by me. But since sometimes they can't be administered, or don't work, surely it makes sense to prepare yourself for not getting one, no?

Just my unrelated two cents.
I talk too much.

choppinbroccoli22 · July 2012

That's completely ridiculous. She's ignorant of the risks, obviously. What's the matter with having a natural labor?

rxredhead · July 2012

This is why it's difficult in many places to go med fee with a traditional provider. Because her attitude is completely normal for many medical professionals. They don't educate themselves properly and pass on bad information to their patients that are expecting their provider to be the expert