- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Natural Birth
If you didn't get an epidural..
I'm 34 weeks today and really starting to think about labor. I haven't wanted to get an epidural since i found out i was pregnant. My sister continues telling me I won't be able to handle it and I'll be begging for an epidural though.
My questions are..
What did you do to help you get through the pain?
Are pain medications through IV (like Demerol) worth it instead of an epidural?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: If you didn't get an epidural..
I am a FTM who is due Sept. 9th so cannot speak from personal experience. But there are many natural ways to deal with the pain and having some kind of birth coach or someone trained (like your hubby) in a natural birth method could really help. Some ways to lesson or eliminate pain:
1. Massage
2. Warm bath/shower or heat therapy
3. Relaxation techniques (like those taught by hypnobabies or Bradley, etc)
4. Changing positions/walking around instead of lying on your back
5. Distracting yourself (or having a loved one or doula help distract you)
One of my sisters just had her baby a few weeks ago and said that an IV drug they gave her to help relax her simply did nothing. The epi is typically far stronger although every woman reacts differently to meds.
I think one of the main things is being educated about the whole process of childbirth. In transition when things were the absolute worse, part of my brain wanted an epidural, but I knew that transition was going to be over quickly and I was very close to pushing. It would have been like quitting a marathon within a mile of the finish line. If I hadn't been aware that that's a common reaction during transition, I might have ended up with the epidural.
Other things that were important: being out of bed, walking around, trying different positions, having my husband run interference with nurses and generally supporting me, and honestly, ignoring early labor- just continuing on with what I was doing instead of stopping and timing the contractions.
Honestly, I was just confident that I wouldn't need one. I was realistic - I knew that there would be pain, but it would be temporary. I just knew that I could do it. I was also giving birth at a birth center, and an epi was not an option unless I wanted to transfer to the hospital they deliver at.
That being said, I had a normal birth that lasted about 10 hours. Transition was the worst, but I was progressing, so that was good. During labor I never even thought of asking for pain meds. It hurt, and I had some back labor, but the CNM and the NP were great at massaging my back and putting pressure on it. I was so focused and DH was great and supportive throughout.
Hip squeezes and back counterpressure helped me a lot (DH and my doula did that).
I did some conscious relaxation between contractions, to rest.
I moved around as I wanted and found the best position for me.
I did not take IV meds, as they more make you drunk than take away the pain. That was never appealing. I might have tried nitrous oxide if I'd been at the hospital earlier, but I arrived ready to push so it was never offered.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
This. And I think all the exercise I got in the weeks before I gave birth helped the pain/birth go easier...I walked a LOT...like a mile a day.
With my first pregnancy, I spent the last 6 months of my pregnancy reading and researching about natural labor and basically changing my mindset.
Also, I put together a list of things to think about/focus on when I was having hard contractions and in transition (I think I got this idea from books, maybe Birthing From Within).
- Focusing on your favorite color (for me, purple)
- Imagining yourself doing your favorite relaxing activity (I thought of tubing down a river)
- Remembering you are one of the millions of women throughout history that have done this and that is how humanity has gotten here and that our bodies are made to do this.
I don't recall how much of this I actually did, but I can tell you that it was an amazing experience for me and I am very much looking forward to doing it again in November!
Taking it one contraction at a time. Just keep thinking (and have someone remind you), it will end, you will get a break. Don't worry about the next one until it comes.
-Warm bath with DH pouring water over my stomach during contractions.
-Sitting on a birthing ball and swirling my hips with each contraction
-Hands and knees position while rocking back and forth
-DH applying tennis balls to my lower back as counter pressure
-Warm rice sock on my back
-Breathing slowly and humming during my exhale (don't be afraid to make noise).
-Listening to my Hypnobirthing music
-Visualization (I imagined myself at my Aunt's Peach orchard). Pick a relaxing place and imagine yourself there. It really helped me during early labor when you could really psych yourself out by worrying about what's around the corner. It helped me to just stay in the moment and not worry about the next contraction until it came.
-This one isn't for everyone, but I asked not to be told how dilated I was. I figured I would be done when my baby was lying in my arms and the numbers didn't matter.
Question 2: I honestly don't know. I know my SIL (she's a doctor) was offered them as a way to feel more comfortable until she could get her epi (she wasn't at 3 yet). But my SIL turned them down because she said she didn't like the way it made her feel. A girl in my Hypnobirthing class had them as a way of trying to rest to avoid a c/s (she had a really long, hard labor), she said it wasn't that effective and wished she hadn't done it.
I had a home birth, no epi obviously, as a FTM. We didn't take any classes but I read a lot and we hired a doula.
Things that worked for me:
- labouring at home in the dark with music that I liked and very little distraction
- counter pressure on my back
- putting a stack of pillows on the table and leaning over onto it and swaying during contractions
Good luck! Try and remember that MOST women don't get epidurals.
with my first son.. i got to the hospital at 3 cm as soon as i was admitted i received an epidural.. so i was in glory with no pain.
with my second i was 4 cm dilated.. at 5am. felt no contractions until i was about 6 1/2 centimeters and started getting worse at about 830.. i wanted epidural.. got it... didnt take.. had him at 9:30am( yes in just 4 hours) it was painfulll.. but i think if you have the support you need around you and just try to remain calm.. you will get through it..
now with my third im thinking i want to go through natural labor again.. although the pain is temporary the reward is PRICELESS!
best of luck!
We took Bradley classes. I practiced various exercises and relaxation techniques.
I also ordered a birth tub and was allowed to set it up at the hospital. Being in the tub was helpful for pain relief. I would have been allowed to deliver in the tub, but I felt I was more effective at pushing out of the tub.
I also hired a doula.
My other sister (not the one saying i can't handle it) got an epidural and it only worked on her left side. I always hear horror stories about problems with epidurals which is one of the top reasons I don't want one. lol
I think I'll be able to get through the contractions, I'm mostly worried about pushing the baby out... I feel like I'll panic once that point comes.. and won't know what to do..
If you can make it through the contractions, you can make it through the pushing! A lot of women find pushing to be a relief since you're actively doing something instead of just riding through the pain- I found this to be true with my first, not so much the second time. Both times I got a rush of energy that carried me through pushing, just knowing that I was so close to meeting my baby!
I highly recommend the books "Easing Labor Pain" and "Active Labor" for you-- I found the first one to help me focus and even meditate on/visualize the labor process. It gave me courage and confidence. "Active Labor" was a skim read, but the pictures were really helpful. I knew just what to tell my husband to do for me when the time came, and what positions to try.
I found it was TRUE what I read in Easing Labor Pain, about the pushing experience. It was NOT painful, just enormous pressure. You can take that, and gladly, after the pain of labor contractions has yielded to the pushing phase. At this point you have something to DO, and it's a "rush" as PP said because that in itself is empowering. No matter how tired you are, your adrenaline takes over and you are strong. It's hard work. But I can honestly say that pushing didn't really hurt. I yelled because of the effort, not pain! You will read about a "ring of fire" when the baby's head crowns, and cringe about that probably. Yeah, I felt some heat. It wasn't really a burning heat though, and I didn't feel like I was tearing. It was not bad.
I don't plan to have any ind of pain medication (we're about to see if I can do it!) but we're I to want something, it would be an epi. My doula described the IV meds as you still being in pain, but you're out of it so the birth team doesn't know you're still in pain. She said an epi actually takes away the pain, and you remain coherent throughout.
Best of luck to you!
Pushing was the easiest, most natural part for me. Just dealing with pain that feels out of your control was hard, but I could control pushing and when pushing with contractions, I could actually feel progress being made. It was a welcome relief and a complete rush.
I didn't need any pain meds, but if I were to get any, it would be an epidural. The IV meds don't just make you drowsy - they also make baby drowsy. You can't get them as you get closer to delivery because they can cause issues with your LO's breathing when they're born, so it's not an option if you want help with the pushing phase.
Not to hijack the post, but as a FTM, this is exactly my mindset going into the experience. 100% confidence and realistic about the pain. Also, as PP's have said, being knowledgeable about what is causing the pain helps to manage it without drugs. GL OP, you can totally do it, we all can!
Everyone reacts to labor differently, it's hard work but I found it was only painful when I was fighting the contractions.
I did at one point say to my H that I didn't think I'd be able to do it. He just reassured me that I could and reminded me all the reasons why I wanted to go med-free. A big part of the problem wasn't that the pain was unbearable, it was that I didn't know how long labor would last. Mentally I needed an endpoint. So I told myself I'd try for one more hour and then decide. Giving myself a timeline, instead of feeling like I'd be enduring labor forever helped me.
In terms of actually dealing with contractions, I found sitting was best for me. Moving around actually made me lose focus on my breathing and made pain worse. I had the TV on as background noise and used a focus point and relaxation breathing (slow and methodical like you would for meditation) and dimmed lights. Early in labor I wanted to be in the shower, but towards the end I just wanted to be left alone to sit and breath. At one point I was so zoned out I was barely aware of anything. Transition snapped me out of the zone because the pain actually radiated into my thighs. It confused me more than anything else because it felt like I was running even though I was sitting still. At that point it all went so fast it's sort of a blur and I was pushing, which didn't hurt at all.
I would talk with your OB about the different pain medication options and the pros/cons of each. Things like Demerol do effect the baby so they can only give those at certain points in labor. It's better to be educated about all your options, including pain medications, before labor.
If anyone can't handle a natural birth it would be me. I have the lowest pain tolerance in the world but I managed to avoid drugs.
I did Hypnobirthing with DD but it was completely ineffective for me. I wasn't able to let go of my body and let it do it's thing so I lost control. This time I'm taking a different approach--instead of focusing solely on relaxation I'm going to focus on working with my body through each contraction and making it to the "finish line" aka the end of the contraction. I'm skipping the classical/relaxing music and listening to the music when I work out--more upbeat songs. I figure this is what I do when I'm pushing myself when I run. Pregnancy is like a marathon so I'm going to see how this method works for me.
I had pitocin with DS #1. Walking made me sick to my stomach, so I rocked in a rocking chair through most of the labor with DH helping me breathe while I detached from reality and was concentrating on the image of bunny I left sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery.
If you do not have any drugs, odds are your primitive part of brain will take over for the pushing and your body will just do it. Last appointment my MW said that pushing with epi is like trying to poop when you cannot feel your butt. LOL
You will do great, just believe in yourself !
P.S. Your body is smart and it has its own defences without dugs. I felt drunk from the pain and completely lost track of time. Poor DH did not get to go potty for all those hours even though it felt like a short time for me. Keep in mind, when you start feeling like you cannot go on any longer, you are most likely at the finish line. After reading what I read this time, I laugh because I gave classic "check me, because I do not think I can do it any longer" to my nurse (who is now my midwife). I was about 8 at that point. She told me to get on the bed and we will try rocking. One rocking movement and my body started pushing. Remember that it is not necessarily 1 cm an hour, it can go slow and then really fast. A lot of women loose faith because they do not realize how close to the finish line they are.
My best advice to help you is to STAY HOME! Stay home for as long as possible so you can labor in the privacy of your own home, with your shower/bath/bed, dim lights, mood music, and with supportive family (your sister may not be the best person to have there). Walk around as much as you can as walking helps ease the pain of the contractions and helps you dilate. Practice relaxation techniques and think of your contractions as helping to bring your baby in to the world. Wait until your contractions are at 4-1-1 (4 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for one hour) before going to the hospital.
You may want to see if there is a Bradley or Hypnobirthing instructor in your area that can help you out. Also, check the DONA website to see if you can find a student doula who will take you on for free. If not, feel free to PM me and I can send you some materials.
There is no doubt that labor is hard, but no woman has ever died from the pain of labor. The women on this board who had natural births are not super women, they are not stronger or better or more capable than you are. Our bodies were made to do this so there is no reason for anyone to tell you you can't. Stop listening to the nay-sayers.
I'm going to make a huge assumption that you've already read up on natural pain management and if not that you've looked at many of the other comments.
That said.... The thing that helped me get through labor was acceptance.
Accepting that other women had given birth and that it was possible, natural, and normal. Accepting that my body could do it so long as my mind didn't stand in the way. Acceptance was the biggest thing for me and because of that I was able to view labor/contractions/pain in a new light. It meant that my baby was going to be born and the discomfort was endurable because of that.
You'll find that there will be one thing that helps you at the right moment and for all of us that things differs to a slight degree. My mental help was acceptance and my physical help was the bathtub.