People who assisted with shower, but didn't host - gifts?

cutebride73 · July 2012

Technically, my mom threw my shower. She paid for the venue/food, etc... Her name was on the invites as who to rsvp to. My DD (b/c she is 21 years old - big age difference - lol!) made the favors with DH's cousin (cake pops). DH's aunt offered to help as well, so she ended up making the centerpieces because she is super crafty and my mom isn't. My MIL made a fruit tray and a friend brought some cookies (all other food was made by the venue). All of this was offered/arranged after the invites went out.

I already sent my thank you notes and sincerely thanked everyone who did anything to contribute to my shower (as well as for any gift they may have given me). I did not buy hostess gifts for them though, as they didn't actually host. Should I have? I could still do something, it just really didn't occur to me. I did not buy a hostess gift for my mom either though, as she would think it was a ridiculous waste of money (and be mad at me). She is super practical and this whole hostess gift thing is a newer trend, not something she would consider.

I just don't want to be rude and I know that the people who offered to help did so b/c they are truly excited/happy for DH and I and not because they expected something in return. Oh and I also stood up and thanked everyone for what they did or made at the shower itself - I mentioned each person by name and said what they made.

EastCoastBride · July 2012

You're fine. While I gave hostess gifts and they are common - it's not a given that you MUST do this. Plus, I dont' feel that "just helping" means you need to give them a gift. I don't mean to downplay their help - but some showers could have a long list of "helpers" and the help could be "I brought some cups".

Your mom is the one who organized everything and put the time and effort and money into this. She's the hostess.

Faith 21 · July 2012

I think you did great. Don't worry about it. I think everyone who helped out felt thier service was appreciated.

RedInLove · July 2012

EastCoastBride:
You're fine. While I gave hostess gifts and they are common - it's not a given that you MUST do this. Plus, I dont' feel that "just helping" means you need to give them a gift. I don't mean to downplay their help - but some showers could have a long list of "helpers" and the help could be "I brought some cups".

Your mom is the one who organized everything and put the time and effort and money into this. She's the hostess.

This. They helped your mom out, I'm sure she thanked them profusely for their assistance. If you wanted to give your own thanks, a special mention if their contribution by you in your TY note would be more than enough, something like "The cake pops were so adorable,and everyone loved them! Thank you so much for making them, they were perfect." should be fine.

My younger sister and I helped our older sister out with her DH's surprised 40th by bringing chips and pretzels, and arriving early to set them out on the tables before the guests arrived. Her thanking us in person, and an unexpected quick mention during the party when she thanked some individuals that helped her out, was more than enough for us.

cutebride73 · July 2012

Thanks for your input ladies. That's basically what I thought, but I didn't want to be rude. I thanked them at the shower (aloud to the room, as well as individually) and again in their thank you notes. Just wanted to be sure that was enough/okay.

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People who assisted with shower, but didn't host - gifts?

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