Announcing to parents?

laujam31 · July 2012

So my husband and I have been discussing when to tell our parents about our bfp. We found out Tuesday, went to the dr Wednesday. It's too early to see anything on the us yet. We are about 4 weeks. My husband wants to wait until second trimester to tell anyone. I think that as soon as we have a heartbeat we should tell our parents ONLY and make a public announcement after 12 weeks. I'm just really anxious to tell my mom and his! I feel like they deserve to know earlier than everyone else. Opinions?

nallsl · July 2012

If you read enough posts on here, you will see that many people have told family only and have asked them to keep quiet only to be disappointed. I would wait until you are ready for everyone to find out just so that someone doesn't spill the beans before you're ready.

breathlife · July 2012

Yep . agree with PP ... We told ILs last week and told them specifically NOT TO TELL ! .. that lasted about a day .. I found out last night that MANY people know and I wasnt ready to tell .... I would just say, If you absolutely 100% cant trust them , dont do it ..........

AmieV3 · July 2012

I am 11 weeks and just told my immediate family.

DanandVan · July 2012

Jumping in, I agree with pp. I think its kind of unfair to tell parents such great news and then ask them not to share it. DH and I are planning to tell our family/friends once we hear a heartbeat, but I won't make a facebook announcement until further along (with the understanding, of course, that someone will probably beat us to it on fb, but we don't care).

laujam31 · July 2012

I know that our parents would respect our wishes and not repeat the news. I just feel like it would be a bit of a slap in the face to tell them right around the time we told everyone else. And just to be clear I am only talking about my mom and dad and his mom and dad. No siblings yet.

betheny · July 2012

i totally agree with PP. i wanted to tell our immediate families only after our first ultrasound but my husband made an excellent point that people always tell someone simply from excitement and then they tell someone and it snowballs. so he said if i wasn't ready for everyone to know then we shouldn't tell anyone. we will still tell our families first but we are waiting until 12 weeks and that way when they spill the beans we won't be mad. i have also seen tons of posts about one person (usually a MIL) telling her best friends and then everyone knows and drama ensues.

magel050485 · July 2012

We told our parents right away because if we were to miscarry we would need them. If (heaven forbid) you were to miscarry would you need their support? If so I would tell them now.

Living The Good Life · July 2012

I am waiting until the second trimester because by then you will have done all your blood work and test and I will have done the initial downs syndrome test as well. You will also have a sonogram picture that doesn't look like a blob but an actual baby to give your parents too. And, you will have heard the heartbeat. I will feel much better telling my Mom that I've gone through all that and everything is going well.

I live out of state and I am waiting until I see her to tell her and I will be almost 16 weeks at that point, but it will be worth seeing her face when I tell her. I also bought her a t-shirt that says grandma to bee(with a little bee on the shirt), it's so cute and I'm going to tell her by giving her that as a little gift and watch her expression as it all sets in...can't wait.

laujam31 · July 2012

Thanks for all the insight ladies. I appreciate it. You all bring up great points.

hesakeeper · July 2012

We plan to wait until a family gathering (i.e. holiday party) and meeting with my parents before said party to tell them (maybe day-of, or a couple days before). I have a big extended family and I just feel like if my mom knew and told one person in the family, then everyone would know and I'd be disappointed that I couldn't share it.

We plan to do the same with DH's family too.

bella89014 · July 2012

We just found out we are pregnant a couple days ago and really wanted to share the news but also were scared to share to soon. I am only a little more then 4 weeks along. We dont live in the same state as most of our immediate family and my brother, and sister in law will be here next week. We decided to wait until they are here in person to surprise them, and after we tell them we will tell my parents. I know they will keep it a secret as we all did when my sister in law was pregnant. We will tell my husbands parents a few weeks later when we see them. I def understand about keeping things quiet but I am very close to my family so it is hard not to share such big news and as someone previously said in this thread if something bad did happen I would want and need their support. Good luck to everyone!!

shandorfml2 · July 2012

I'm telling my parents today. I need their support, and cannot keep this secret from them anymore! And like a PP said, if something did happen I would need their support. We will tell IL's within the next few weeks, and hoping to wait until 10 weeks to tell work, and fb

Cherry1111 · July 2012

We told our immediate families after seeing the heartbeat at 7 weeks. This was pregnancy #4, and we never made it far enough to see a heartbeat before. We knew if anything were to happen again we would need all of their support. They did respect our wishes to not share the information until we decided to around 14 weeks.

spring_time · July 2012

We told my immediate family (parents, sisters) as soon as we got the positive pregnancy test. My reasoning for this is because if anything were to happen (heaven forbid), they would be my support network. We asked them to not tell other people until 12 weeks. They were able to keep it in the last time around, so I trust they can do it again.

We have not told the in-laws yet. This is mainly because we have a wedding this weekend, and my FIL would not be able to keep it in, or at least some himself from make allusions to the fact. We will probably wait a few more weeks for them just because I do not have as much faith in their ability to keep a secret, and we are not especially close.

laujam31 · July 2012

Just an update. I told my DH this am that I posted to the board to ask for opinions about this. I told him that there were a lot of different opinions and that because he felt more strongly about waiting until 12 weeks (to tell ONLY parents) than I did that we would ultimately do what he was more comfortable with. He said that his reason for wanting to wait to tell the parents is because he thinks his mom would blab. And he thinks it is unfair to tell mine and not his. We agreed that if we see the heartbeat we will tell parents at about 10 weeks. This way if anyone blabs it won't be too far off from 12. Thanks again for all your help!

krissywave · July 2012

For us last time we didnt tell them until 2nd trimester. But when we told them we asked them to give us a little bit of time so all the important people would hear it from us. This time I have no clue when we will tell people.

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