I need encouragement not to quit pumping please.

eMiLee920 · July 2012

Hi ladies,

My LO arrived at 27w2d and I've had a very rough time getting any sort of supply established. I'm just about 7 weeks pp and over the last 4 days my supply has been decreasing. I never made much to begin with - I don't even make enough for 2 full 36cc feeds. So to see it decreasing even a little is really depressing. I wanted to pump until he comes home from the NICU so we could try breastfeeding, but now I'm thinking I won't even be able to make it that long.

I'm not looking for advice on ways to increase as I've tried almost everything. Just looking for some support or encouragement, something to keep me going.

katie4253 · July 2012

Do you happen to have PCOS? If so, that may be part of the struggle.

How many times a day are you currently pumping? What have you tried? I don't mean to grill you, but I dealt with really low supply in the beginning and don't want to suggest a bunch of stuff you've already tried.

You are doing great pumping for 7 weeks. Pumping is SO hard.

jennbent · July 2012

I'm sitting here pumping for my DS in the NICU as I write this. He too is about 7 weeks old. I have been battling thrush for probably half that time. That, combined with exhaustion has made me want to throw in the towel so many times as well, but I won't. It is the best thing you can do for your little one right now, no matter how small your supply. You can do it Mama! Just take it one day at a time. Sending positive vibes your way!!!

eMiLee920 · July 2012

katie4253:
Do you happen to have PCOS? If so, that may be part of the struggle.
How many times a day are you currently pumping? What have you tried? I don't mean to grill you, but I dealt with really low supply in the beginning and don't want to suggest a bunch of stuff you've already tried.
You are doing great pumping for 7 weeks. Pumping is SO hard.

I haven't been diagnosed with PCOS, but I did just get bloodwork done to check my thyroid. Waiting for those results before I really quit. But I've always had super regular periods and had no trouble getting pregnant.

I've talked to 2 lactation consultants and had one of them check flange fit. I pump 9-10 day for 15-20 min a session on a hospital grade pump. I take More Milk Plus Special Blend and have a lactation cookie everyday. I've tried warm compresses and breast massage. I've tried listening to a recording of my baby crying, smelling his blanket, looking at his picture. I've tried pumping right after a kangaroo session (which I do every other day). We have kind of stopped kangaroo'ing in the last week or two because he's been wearing clothes. He gets so stimulated during an assessment that unless he's been stripped for a bath, we don't push it by undressing him - seems to lead to fewer desats on his part. I *try* to drink plenty of water - have a least a glass every time I pump. I don't get as much sleep as I'd like at night, but try to supplement with a nap or two during the day between pumps. I've got pumping pals and a hands free bra so I can relax during sessions. I power pump every morning but even that output has decreased.

I'm pretty sure I've tried everything but Reglan or domperidone. I've looked into them but I've decided they're not for me. So short of those, I think I've tried everything. Everyday when I drop off the tiny amount I've pumped I get grilled by the nurse/s.

MrsPookaLuv · July 2012

I am so sorry that you're struggling with pumping and supply. Every little bit you can provide to your baby will help though! Keep it up!

urbanflowerpot · July 2012

I'm really sorry you're struggling - you're obviously doing everything you can! Pumping is hard business, but you've specifically asked for encouragement not to stop. When they're really little in NICU, every drop counts. Keep at it if it's what you want - but preemie moms have a hard time with BM. Don't beat yourself up if you wind up needing to take a different route. You can always supplement BM with F.

SweetPeaKate · July 2012

My son was born at 30 weeks and was in the NICU for 54 days. During his NICU stay I probably wanted to quit every other pumping session. Some days were better than others, but mostly I hated it. I can't say I had a low supply, but pumping is not for the faint of heart--especially when trying to balance the life of a preemie at the same time.

Kudos to you for getting 7 weeks (especially when you aren't seeing as much product from all your efforts).

The only thing that got me through the months of pumping was knowing how badly I wanted to just try breastfeeding. My pregnancy and his delivery was not at all what I had ever dreamt of could happen and breastfeeding was something I wanted to at least try. I didn't want to end it before it even had a chance to begin.

Keep going...if only until you get the chance to breastfeed with your babe. You can do it and months down the road, your time pumping will be a distant memory (at least mine is) because everything else about your baby will take over.

katie4253 · July 2012

eMiLee920:
katie4253:
Do you happen to have PCOS? If so, that may be part of the struggle.
How many times a day are you currently pumping? What have you tried? I don't mean to grill you, but I dealt with really low supply in the beginning and don't want to suggest a bunch of stuff you've already tried.
You are doing great pumping for 7 weeks. Pumping is SO hard.
I haven't been diagnosed with PCOS, but I did just get bloodwork done to check my thyroid. Waiting for those results before I really quit. But I've always had super regular periods and had no trouble getting pregnant.

I've talked to 2 lactation consultants and had one of them check flange fit. I pump 9-10 day for 15-20 min a session on a hospital grade pump. I take More Milk Plus Special Blend and have a lactation cookie everyday. I've tried warm compresses and breast massage. I've tried listening to a recording of my baby crying, smelling his blanket, looking at his picture. I've tried pumping right after a kangaroo session (which I do every other day). We have kind of stopped kangaroo'ing in the last week or two because he's been wearing clothes. He gets so stimulated during an assessment that unless he's been stripped for a bath, we don't push it by undressing him - seems to lead to fewer desats on his part. I *try* to drink plenty of water - have a least a glass every time I pump. I don't get as much sleep as I'd like at night, but try to supplement with a nap or two during the day between pumps. I've got pumping pals and a hands free bra so I can relax during sessions. I power pump every morning but even that output has decreased.

I'm pretty sure I've tried everything but Reglan or domperidone. I've looked into them but I've decided they're not for me. So short of those, I think I've tried everything. Everyday when I drop off the tiny amount I've pumped I get grilled by the nurse/s.

10 times a day seems like a AWFUL LOT for being 7 weeks pp. Do you get a sleep stretch of at least 5hrs a night? That made a huge difference to me.

Also, my LCs basically told me the tea is not strong enough (I am not sure if that is what you are taking). They told me you'd have to drink gallons to see the effects. If you are taking the tea, go to a natural foods store and get fenugreek and blessed thistle caps and try those instead. Take enough fenugreek that you smell like maple (for me that was 4 caps 3x a day). Start with 2 3x a day and work your way up. Also, try eating a bowl of oatmeal in the morning.

1 lactation cookie a day won't do much. I'd probably eat 2-3 if I didn't have oatmeal for b-fast, especially.

Are you eating enough calories? I found I had to eat quite a bit to get a decent amount. Especially protein. So eat meat, beans, etc and eat a good amount.

Other things you can try: Yellow Gatorade (no idea why it works, but some women swear by it). Not the G2 stuff. Regular yellow gatorade. Raw Almonds and almond milk.

I'm not sure if any of this helps. One thing I think may help you is hearing from a mom who decided to stop pumping. I know people mean well when they say "every little bit helps". But, it sometimes isn't best. I will encourage you to pump until the cows come home, if that is what you want. But, you also need to know that there is no shame in stopping. Pumping is so f-ing hard. I did it for a long time and I feel as though I am still a little traumatized by it. It was a total mind screw and it was hard as heck. I am glad I did it, but I am also glad I quit when I did.

There's a mama on here who contributed this post to the blog, though. I think it is really great and may help you see that there are two sides.

katie4253 · July 2012

Out of curiosity, how many ounces are you pumping a day. I just want to see if you are being too hard on yourself. You might be more in line with the "expected amount" than you think.

thishappyhouse · July 2012

Take it day by day. It sounds like you aren't ready to be done today so don't quit today. You will know when you are ready to stop and it will likely be for a number of reasons not just because of the amount that you are or aren't producing. For what it's worth I was dying to stop pumping while in the NICU after 12 or so weeks and felt like I was so ready to be done. My daughter was having tons of bottle feeding issues and one nurse suggested that I try to nurse her. She took to breast feeding like a champ so obviously that was what I needed to keep going. I still have supply issues but at 9 months my daughter is breast feeding 2 times a day, I am pumping 2 times a day (to make 1.5 bottle feedings) and I am supplementing with 2 bottles of formula a day. It is so hard to know what your body or your LO is going to do, which is why I suggest you keep going 1 day at a time until you know you are done.

thishappyhouse · July 2012

Posted too soon. I wanted to add ... You are obviously doing everything you can and an amazing job for your little one. Be kind to yourself... This is tough stuff. The first time I let myself sleep for a 5 hour stretch a at night made me a whole new person. Sure, I may not have been optimizing my pumping by going that 5 hour stretch, but it was what I needed. Big hugs, you are doing a great job

eMiLee920 · July 2012

I know a few days ago, I was just short of 2 whole feeds. So it was 70 mL for 1 day. They just increased his feed to 38 mL and the nurse needed almost all of it just for one feed.there was maybe around 15 mL left. I almost never make even half an ounce per session from both breasts combined.

I'd love to drop a session and get more sleep but I don't want my supply to drop any further! That's the only reason I've been making sure to get in at least 9 sessions a day. I also have a recurring plugged duct. Lecithan is the supplement that's supposed to help with that right? I'm getting some tomorrow because I can't deal with that on top of the low supply!

katie4253 · July 2012

eMiLee920:
I know a few days ago, I was just short of 2 whole feeds. So it was 70 mL for 1 day. They just increased his feed to 38 mL and the nurse needed almost all of it just for one feed.there was maybe around 15 mL left. I almost never make even half an ounce per session from both breasts combined.

I'd love to drop a session and get more sleep but I don't want my supply to drop any further! That's the only reason I've been making sure to get in at least 9 sessions a day. I also have a recurring plugged duct. Lecithan is the supplement that's supposed to help with that right? I'm getting some tomorrow because I can't deal with that on top of the low supply!

That is so hard. The reason I asked about sleep is that the neos actually told me to sleep and it increased my supply. A few other people eluded to this in this post too. I got clogged ducts in the NICU. Oh, man, it was so uncomfy. Lecithan is the supplement.

It sounds like you are doing everything you can. I know you said you don't want to try reglan or the other. But, it might be worth talking with your doctor about.

The only thing I can say is don't quit on a bad day. Let that day pass and see if you feel better the next. Good luck!!!

eMiLee920 · July 2012

And thank you all for your encouragement and advice. Like some of you said, I'm not quite ready to give up - I would really love to try and bf my son. But it's nice to hear from others that I'm doing everything, esp from those who've had the same struggle. Sometimes getting "permission" to stop is encouraging too. I'll probably bookmark this page so I can re-read it on bad days.

I think I will try to get some extra sleep tonight, even if it means dropping a session. I'm way more exhausted than usual. Hopefully it's just been a bad few days and I can keep going.

Thanks again!

kathyn21 · July 2012

i highly encourage you to try to get smoe extra sleep. i only pumped for 8weeks and was producing just a little more than you are each session, but i noticed when i didn't get one good stretch of sleep at night (3-4 hrs) my output was even less. it's so hard to get sleep though, i understand!! good luck! t&p's to you and your family

Cst2CstBride · July 2012

I just wanted to say what an amazing job you are doing. My daughter, also born at 27 weeks, has been in the NICU for 3 weeks so that is how long I've been pumping. Some days I feel like pumping, washing pumping parts,visiting my daughter, eating and sleeping are the only things I do. And, most of the day is spent pumping. It is a huge commitment.

It does seem like you've tried everything and given a Herculean effort. If you are open to suggestions, I do think that getting more sleep, oatmeal, and high dose (at least 3 pills x3 a day) of Fenugreek are worth trying. I was pretty sick my first week pp and didn't pump enough so I'm still trying to catch up my supply. I think I'm seeing a difference after a week of eating oatmeal and just started the Fenugreek at my LC's suggestion.

Whatever you end up deciding to do, know that you've put in the effort to give your son all the benefits of BM. Even if he isn't getting full feeds of BM, whatever you are able to give him passes on the antibodies and helps build his immune system.

Sending good thoughts.

DoingItRight · July 2012

It is awesome that you are pumping for him. It is so hard pumping while dealing with the NICU. My babies were never able to breast feed so is am still pumping. I have never gotten a ton so they get breast milk for what I can provide and then Neosure for the rest. It is awful that the nurses are giving you a hard time. Our nurses were always great no matter how much I was able to bring in.

Good luck. I hope that your supply picks up and you are able to try breast feeding.

angelfire02 · July 2012

You are doing awesome!!! Lecithin is what will help with clogged ducts, I started it 10 days ago and I think it's helping. I have been pumping every 2-3 hours every day for 9 1/2 weeks so I know what you are going through! I have had breast infections chronically since starting and there have been days where I am so ready to quit, but every time I am able to give my babies breast milk and not formula, it makes me feel good enough to say "ok one more time". And there are days where I go pumping by pumping because I'm so sick of it I think I'm going to lose my mind, but it is so worth it in the long run. Don't quit when you are frustrated, if you are ready to quit take enough time to think about it and really process it before you make a decision. You are giving your baby SUCH a gift!!!

Good luck!!!

IncogNeato · July 2012

I'd second the pp's advice: fenugreek pills, more than one cookie, oatmeal for breakfast, and try to get at least one stretch of sleep that's a little longer.

You're my hero. You're doing amazingly. I struggled with supply when DD was older and that was hard enough. I can't imagine how exhausting it must be for the long-term NICU mamas.

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