New York Babies
Long commutes and child care
We live in the city but may not be able to afford more space and are considering fairly close towns in Westchester. With that said, I'm nervous about the idea of putting baby in day care close to home, driving to Metro North, changing to the subway, etc. If he gets sick or something happens in the middle of the day, it could easily take an hour - an hour and a half to get to him. How do you long commuters deal with this? I can imagine bringing the baby just on the subway if I had to, but in and out of the car, two trains, and GCC at rush hour is too much twice a day.
TTC since 8/10.Hypothyroidism, put on Synthroid. Clomid 50 mg + IUI Oct '11 = BFN. HSG found blocked tube Nov '11. Lap + Hysteroscopy to remove tube and fix septum Dec '11. Cancelled following cycle due to lack of response to Clomid. Jan/Feb '12 Clomid 100mg + Folllitism + HSG + Vivelle Dot + IUI #2 = BFN. 3/30/12: Natural Cycle BFP - beta 59 @ 12dpo, beta 286 @ 16dpo
Baby boy arrived 12/8/12!
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Re: Long commutes and child care
I lived in the city and commuted with my son from the time he was 6 months until he was 4. My daughter was born when he was almost 3 so for a year, I commuted with both on the subway. Then we moved to Westchester. I debated whether or not to move them to Westchester for daycare. I opted to keep them in the city and commute with them. We tried the car but it got really expensive (gas) and really ridiculous with traffic (2 hours each way). For the last 1 1/2 months, we've been commuting by Metro North and then I switch to the subway with them. So exactly what you're contemplating- I've been doing. I'll tell you the pros and cons.
Pro- I love the extra time with them. For a working mom, getting 3 extra hours a day with them is priceless and I will miss it next year (my son is starting kindgergarten so they'll both stay in Westchester).
Con- I don't know any other moms in my town. My friends who have their kids in daycare near their home get to know the other moms. That's crucial when you need someone to help in an emergency - or want your kids to have a playdate on a weekend (my kids friends are all in the city). Honestly, if I had to do it over again, I would keep them in Westchester depsite the extra time with them. I really feel awful when my son asks for a playdate and I don't know anyone. We go to the playground and he tries to make friends but the kids are usually playing with their friends and it's hard for him.
The other con is the amount of time we commute. My kids are pros - they're used to it but they're also 4 and 2. They definitely have their moments. We've had more meltdowns than I can remember. Commuters are fairly nice on the train and we usually get a seat - but not always. We adjusted our schedule to get on a train that we can always get a seat (it's starts in our town). Getting the kids out the door in the morning is by far the biggest challenge - we HAVE to make the train or it gets crazy crowded. Also, there is very little leg room - have you been on the train? It doesn't fit a stroller. So I usually go to the center area, put the bags down (leaving my daughter in the stroller, and then unloading my daughter and folding the stroller (to put it above us). It's definitely a juggling act - when you have to wash sheets/blankets and transport wipes/diapers, I end up with 27 bags!
The last con are the elevators and the platform. Grand Central has them and luckily, my work stop has one. My metro north doesn't have one on the parking side - don't get me started! We have to walk in the street through a tunnel (no way) or carry the stroller up a huge flight of stairs. Make sure your metro north station has one- we looked but checked the street side- not the side where the commuters park. Then there is the subway- a big problem is that the subway elevators are always broken- always! There isn't a week that goes by that I don't have to carry it up or down at some point. I'm so used to it that it hardly bothers me- but it can be ridiculous at times (it's always on the days I'm carrying those 27 bags). They also smell terrible 90 % of the time. Also, the platforms are very narrow and at rush hour, very crowded. People think they can walk in front of a stroller and you'll be able to stop. It's more frustrating to me than carrying the stroller up the stairs when the elevator is broken! The elevators are usually at one end or the other so you have to walk a lot on the platform - there's no way to avoid it.
Ok- I've gone on waaaaay too long. People think I'm crazy to do it but I really do love the time with my kids. I think I am ready to have them stay at home (we're getting an au pair next month) and I can finally enjoy some quiet time on the train!
Good luck on whatever you choose - if you want to chat more about it, just email me jhoexter 24 at aol dot com. - Jill
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
We are in the same boat...moved to Westerchester a little over a year ago, right before my son was born. I work in midtown and my husband downtown. I do work from home one day a week and do have the flexibilitly to change that if I need to, which helps. I am prepared to take a care service home to get there quickly if needed to, but have never had to. Daycare knows we are both in the city and are quick to call - I've asked them to....What advise I will give you on deciding where to live and granted, I know daycare years are not forever....we live a little north of White Plains and our Metro North commute is about 15 min longer than if we were to live in a town 1-2 stops into Westchester BUT we can walk to the train and daycare, which actually makes up for the time we'd have spent driving to daycare when we got off the train, plus we only need one car. I am able to take the train that arrives in the station 10 min before daycare (which is across the street from daycare) closes. We looked in the Bronxville/Eastchester/Scarsdale area at first...even if we lived walking distance to the train we'd have had to drive to a daycare (except Scarsdale). You also need to make sure you are comfortable w/a daycare before you choose a town based on the proximity...so much to consider.
I have talked to other parents with older kids and who work in the city. They have told me they have stay at home mom neigbors/parents of kids friends, who they have called in a jam...its Westchester..no matter what town you are in, there will be lots of stay at home moms...so building friendships w/them may be important to your sanity.
As far as meeting other parents....I have only really met 2 families through daycare and one has changed their schedule and I don't run into them at daycare anymore - and they are not from our town..many parents work in Westchester and pick up their kids earlier or daycare is on the way to work. We can walk to a park in our neigborhood and I have met lots of families there...people are so friendly and when you go to the park, its like hey I'm here to get my kid and myself out of the house and so are you, so let's talk...the same people are at the park all the time..I do admit I feel like we landed in a movie and were almost taken off guard by how nice people are.
If you haven't cked this out, do...might be good to post your question here..maybe specifically to the town or daycares you will look into.
https://www.city-data.com/forum/westchester-county/
I hope this helps!
one more thing to add...at some point I will look for a job in Westchester outside of my industry. I don't love what I do, but i love the industry I am in, which makes me like what I do...if that makes sense. Anyway, there are lots of companies in Westchster and not all in White Plains....Pepsi has a few locations - I think all north of White Plains, IBM, a bunch around the airport...not sure the town, maybe Harrison...if you were willing to leave the city for work, too. There are tons of hopsitals. From what I can see, the majority of families have one parent working in Westchester, which takes off a lot of stress. And from my observation of neighbors working in Westchester and my first job out of school in NJ.....suburban jobs just dont come w/the hrs city ones do...now that is completely observation....or maybe a mama hoping its the case, when I make the move...
I know its a very big decision to make....we rented for a few months before finding a house, but didn't rent too close to where we ended up living. I know this is tougher to make several moves w/kids...but I have friends who have done it...spend a yr in a community and see if you can see yourself there for 20 yrs...either way its a huge decison/adjustment.
Good luck!
We live in Westchester and I commute with my daugther every day into the city for daycare. We had a nanny since she was born and one day the nanny told us she has a medical problem and can no longer take care of her so she gave us one week to figure it out. We had her registered for pre-k in westchester already for september. During that one week, i was only able to find daycare that had openings in the city. The ones closer to me were only had half days or nothing available. We found a daycare in the city that we loved. it is more expensive than we were willing to pay but to see that smile on my daughter's face everyday makes it worth it.
It is a pain to have to get her up in the morning and dressed but i love the extra time i have with her before and after work.