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November 2011 Moms
mama&baby
member
The Tiger Mom debate
mama&baby
member
So for those of you who aren't familiar with the concept, here is a video from youtube...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LWeBjFXaSg
So what's your take? Anyone grow up in this type of environment? If so, how do you think it has affected the way you have grown up and the way you parent?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The Tiger Mom debate
Ohh...Good post, Mama&Baby!
So, I have a kid whose army-crawled to my feet and is now whining, so I only got 3 min into it.
But, so far, before having specific opinions on this interview, I'm still of the opinion that different styles of parenting work for each individual kid, including kids in the same family.
However, I did have one quick note that I will need to follow up with actually seeing the whole video to be fair: my eyebrows peaked when I heard the boy say "because my mom is always guiding me on what to do, I don't have to do that much on my own". Now, this isn't fair for me to judge just yet, because that is only one thing he said and I haven't followed up with what he said afterwards, which could have been "because my mom guided me, I didn't have pressure which allowed me to take my time making my own decisions when the time came". Guidance is something that I want to provide for my kid, but only so that they CAN make their own decisions and mistakes, as mistakes are important lessons to be learned as well.
Like I said, I'll have to actually finish watching the video. I'm sure I'll have good and bad things to say, and agree and disagree with a little bit of all sides. I do have to say that the Tiger case is really extreme and while the girl seems to be great, I can't help but be a little sad that she might have missed out on some things, but maybe that's my view only, and not hers.
What is unschooling?
Some Tiger Moms come from different cultures. My mom is Korean and was super strict with me. I was grounded if I didn't have straight A's, I was required to play the piano for an hour everyday. I ended up going to college on full scholarship and even got my graduate degree covered financially. But, she was not strict with my brother who is almost 21, and has flunked out of school and while he has a job, it is a low paying job, so he still leaches off of my parents.
I think there is a happy medium somewhere. Will I encourage my son to do his best? Absolutely. Will he be in trouble if he doesn't get straight A's? No. I will enroll him in different activities to see what he likes, but I won't force him to do anything. I just want my sone to be the best that he can be.
It's not having structured lessons or books, from what I understand. Basically, children learn through life experiences. I personally don't agree with this learning style, but maybe it is best for some people. IMO, if a child can't learn to work in a structured environment as a child, it will be harder for them to learn to work under authority and structure as an adult.
I can't watch the video on my work computer, but it sounds like this is another one of the extremes of parenting. I always think there is a happy medium between strict and lazy parenting.
BFP #2 March 2011, Baby Girl born November 2011!!!
I was watching an episode of Pregnant In Heels (yes, this is my point of reference!) and one of the moms wanted to be a tiger mom. Her DH disagreed with that style, so Rosie set up a debate between a woman who was tiger-parented, and another very hippie-flowy person. The woman who had a tiger mom said that she had a grad degree, worked on Wall Street and defined her life by her achievements. A few years ago she lost her job with the financial crisis and had a complete meltdown of her life b/c she didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't have any personal relationships with others b/c she was so driven and didn't have any passions outside work b/c she never had the chance to figure that out on her own.
I want my DD to be involved in activities that she's passionate about, whether that be sports, or music or theater. But I also want her to be disciplined and balanced in her life. If she wants to take piano lessons, then she'll take lessons and have to practice. I also am going to be fairly strict with the discipline, as I cannot stand un-mannered and misbehaving kids.