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August 2011 Moms
I'm trying to understand...but I keep getting angry (Vent) - Long
Ok, my cousin just had her baby on the 17th and didn't tell anyone until yesterday. That's fine. I was so excited to hear the news. I have been there for her throughout her entire pregnancy. I gave her a bunch of DS's stuff, (I mean a BUNCH of stuff) and my maternity clothes, and I drove her around town shopping (several times) for her lo when her car broke down... and I spent hours nearly everyday during her second trimester listening to the crazy pregnancy rants that we all have. Well, during her 3rd trimester, she stopped messaging me and calling me. I was starting to get upset until her sister said she wasn't talking to her either. Ok...the crazy 3rd trimester... I understand.
Well, like I said she had her baby. She didn't call to tell me. Just texted. Which is fine too. When I asked (yesterday) when I could come up to the hospital and see her she didn't acknowledge it....just started talking about the c-section and the baby. I figured she was tired and probably wanted to just chill before she had any visitors... I completely understand.
Well, her sister called me and cancelled our shopping date we had today. She said that she was going to the hospital to see her sis and the baby. I was like "oh ok... no problem" Then she said "I told her you really wanted to come up and see her and I asked if you could come with me, and....she said...no, she doesn't want you there. I mean, I told her you would understand because you have had a baby, and you know how hectic it is." Fighting back the knot in my throat, I said "oh yes, of course... I understand."
I'm trying to understand. I really am. We grew up together. We often joked around and would say we were sisters. I guess I am just hurt. I know everyone is different, but when I had DS I wanted to show him off. I felt loved and honored that people wanted to come up and see me and the beautiful baby I just made...Idk.... I know it's not about me. I'm just still hurt. 
Ok-- vent over.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm trying to understand...but I keep getting angry (Vent) - Long
This. Hugs.
I think I did the same/similar thing as your cousin to my whole family and all my friends. I was ok in the 3rd trimester, just totally distracted and never made time for anyone. I think I was tired of talking about being pregnant and the baby. I had a c-section and I shut down completely. It was unexpected and I felt like i did someing wrong or something was wrong with me (I was not as strong a woman). Strange and wrong, I now know, but it took me a few weeks to work through it. I only let my sister come see me and we NEVER talk, we're just not close like that.
My advise... Don't give up. Keep trying and be there for her. She may just need some time to adjust.
Well, I feel like a douch bag now.
Her sister, Stephanie called and said that the spinal tap went too far and she was leaking spinal fluid and can't sit up with out getting a headache and being sick. They had to do a blood patch. She also said that she is FREAKING OUT because her daughter had a minor heart problem when she was born... it seems to have resolved now, but the baby also stops breathing, so they had her hooked up to IV's and monitors.
I guess that she can't relax and is nervous and can't seem to comfort her baby... When the baby cries, momma starts freaking out and cries too... only the nurse can calm the baby down. . They put her daughter in the nursery to monitor her, and to keep momma calm. She also said that she feels depressed that she didn't feel like she had a baby. She is depressed that she didn't have a vaginal birth. I'm so afraid she is going to get PPD. I don't think the realization of "I'm going to be a mommy" hit until she saw her daughter...
I feel bad for making this about me now. Wish she would have told me so I would have understood, but again I can't imagine what she is going through. For all of us ladies that were able to give birth vaginally to a healthy baby, we need to be thankful everyday...