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August 2011 Moms
eatmorecupcakes
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Anyone NOT done sleep training but still have a sh!tty sleeper?
eatmorecupcakes
member
I'll put it in simple terms - I'm a baby. I can't listen to my kiddo cry himself to sleep. I'm thinking the sleep lady shuffle isn't for us either since he goes from sleepy to "let's get this party started!" once he realizes I am still in the room. Unfortunately we are still doing the bottle (or nurse) and rock to sleep - I know, the shame, the shame! He's still waking up for at least one bottle in the middle of the night which I'm sure is completely unnecessary at this age.
So, if you still have a craptastic/long sleep routine or a bad sleeper, what's stopping YOU from training? I don't know if I am looking for motivation or justification. 
We still nurse to nap which takes all of about 5 minutes, so I am totally fine with the napping situation. I just can't decide where to go from here as far as his nighttime sleep. I just can't imagine still doing this in 6 months with a newborn in the house too!!
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Re: Anyone NOT done sleep training but still have a sh!tty sleeper?
I'll commiserate with you. DSONE is the craptastic sleeper. I wasn't going to deal with it with TWO kids, so I got to sleep training DS2 right away. He was never a problem, I never had to really do anything other than lay him down drowsy but awake and hear him fuss for a few seconds.
DS1 still needs someone to be present when he falls asleep in his bed, and then ends up in our bedroom (most of the time just ends up in our bed) anywhere from midnight to 2:30am. It sucks.
What's stopping me from changing it? DH won't let me. DH is a big pansy who doesn't want to traumatize DS1. He thinks that letting him CIO isn't fair because we let him sleep with us for far too long, and it's our fault he sucks at sleep. Add to that the fact that one of his favorite movies is Monsters, Inc. and you've got a terrified little boy.
He doesn't like the dark, he doesn't like that there are monsters in his room, and he doesn't like to fall asleep on his own, nor wake up on his own. It's a big gigantic ball of suck.
At least I have one good sleeper.
Cups, I know it sucks, but you really should do something now. Start reading any and all sleep training methods you can get your hands on. Go to the library NOW. I mean, log off TB and go! NOW! Before you know it you'll have a 2.5 year old, an 11 month old and thinking about trying for #3 and the 2.5 year old will STILL be the worst sleeper in your household.
Oh, wait, I might be projecting... slightly! Good luck... I'm still in sleep hell.
I am with you - I cannot listen to her cry like that. Mother's guilt. We have been cosleeping for the basic need to get any sleep. I have looked into a lot of sleep training methods and have not found one that works for us.
She naps well for everyone but me, dh 2 hrs / me 45 minutes. We are on vacation next week so after that we are starting bedtime boot camp as I like to call it. I want to get her on a stricter schedule and start the transition to hopefully have her in her crib alone by my birthday (oct1). Dinner at 6, Bath at 6:45 she can play till 8 then we move up to her room. No toys, she can nurse or we will read books and hopefully bed by 8:30 / 8: 45 - it sounds great in my head
I don't mind walking her or rocking her to sleep on her own - I don't mind her getting up once or twice to nurse but she gets up at least 6 - 8 times a night mainly bc she wants met to hold her while she sleeps.
I could have written your post. DH is ready to kill me because i keep making exuses. I'm being a huge baby. I keep thinking if i would have started last week he would be sleeping through the night by now, and then delay it again.
I was waiting to be back from vacation to start. We got back on Sunday and now DS is getting a tooth and i feel bad letting him cry.Ever since we have been back he has been an even worse sleeper than he was before. He's up every 2 hours and it takes me an hour to get him back down. I seriously think some of us should start sleep training at the same time so we can support each other!!
If it makes you feel better we still rock to sleep for naps and bedtime too. I envy those who have babies who put themselves to sleep and STTN.
We have also not sleep trained, and and our situation sounds very similar to yours. We still mostly nurse to sleep (unless she's too full from a late solids meal), and she still wakes up once a night to nurse.
My reasons are that I am lazy and I can't stand hearing her cry. And honestly, DH - not to knock him at all, this is just how it turned out - simply doesn't get up with her in the night. I do 100% of night wakings and feedings, and I don't have the energy to "sleep train" in the middle of the night, so I don't. On rough nights (maybe once a week or once every two weeks) she does end up in bed with us.I will totally admit that if I had to get up and go to work in the morning, I probably would have pushed for some type of sleep training and more joint responsibility between DH and I when it came to sleeping.
As for "where do we go from here"....we had a sleep regression a couple weeks back and it was really rough. I was considering sleep training because I was so tired. Just in the past two weeks, without me doing anything, she has been going to sleep about 30% of the time without nursing, even though I offer it. If I become pregnant with #2 (which we are just recently discussing), and we still don't have solid sleeping established, then we'll consider sleep training. Until then, I'm winging it.
We nurse and rock to sleep...naps and nighttime. And he sleeps in our bed from bedtime to wake up, and I night-nurse him 1-3 times a night still (I know he's not getting a lot of milk b/c of the pregnancy, but he's comforted by it, and getting a little). I do it b/c I truly believe it's the best way for him and our family, I think it's the natural (i.e. nature-intended) way, and (most importantly!) b/c doing things the way we are we still are functioning happily as a family (meaning, I absolutely respect any person who sleep trains if that is what they do to function better as a spouse/parent/person/worker/whatever!! but we're okay without it for now, so I'm not going to do it unless I have to).
I do know how you feel (worried) as I'll have a NB in the house in 4.5 months, but my plan is to keep doing what I'm doing. It won't last forever. He won't be 5 years old and need rocking to sleep, I'm confident in that. Fortunately, my H is very helpful and can put him to sleep with rocking and a bottle, so in a year, I expect my H will be doing nighttime with #1, and I'll be with #2. We plan to bedshare with both, but might be in different rooms/beds (H with #1, me with #2) if we have to. Unless it doesn't work for us then. Then we'll change it up then. I'm in a "don't fix what's not broken" place, and happy here.
I do think perspective in an interesting thing...for the last week, our routine is that I nurse him to sleep in our bed around 7:30...he falls asleep easily and wakes within an hour or so...I lay down next to him for 10 more minutes, and he falls asleep until 4am. At 4am, I night-nurse him, and he wakes on his own at 6:30. My H and I were just saying last night how he's been sleeping GREAT. And by great, we mean 2 wake ups, 1 night nursing, and needing to be nursed/rocked to sleep - all in OUR bed! I'm sure that'd drive some people batty. But we feel rested and content and happy with it.
Obviously you have to do what works best for you and your family. I'm just sharing my experience to reaffirm for you that not everyone sleep trains. And not everyone with a 10 month old actually sleeps either, heh! So you're not alone. For whatever that's worth. Good luck with whatever decision you make!!