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September 2012 Moms
CarlySara
member
I cannot believe DH did this (semi vent and long)
CarlySara
member
Background info -
When I got PG with DD, DH and I had just gotten back together (about 2 months before). DH's sister called me to figure out why I was "doing this to" her brother. I had to make it clear that I wasn't doing anything TO her brother. DD was conceived while I was on BC and I couldn't have an abortion nor could I give my child up for adoption. FWIW..I gave DH (obviously boyfriend at the time) the chance to not be with me if he didn't want to. Anyway, after that she and I got pretty close. We would talk every over week, if not every week. We bonded really well at their family's beach vacation that summer that I was expecting DD. She came to visit when DD was born and she and I spent quite a bit of time together. Everything was great! She was even one of my Bridesmaids.
Right around the time DH and I got married, SIL got this new boyfriend. TO keep it semi short...We aren't fans of his and SIL seems to have acquired all of the things we dislike about him. She and I have drifted apart. It is to the point where I have told DH that I am uncomfortable with his sister because I feel like she judges every word that comes out of my mouth. (An example: I went out with my friends for lunch and a movie...we saw "Bridesmaids" and she went on about how she didn't understand why anyone would want to see "that Blockbuster".)
She has changed so much that DH and I have agreed that we no longer want her to be the guardian for our children if anything happens to us. I was talking to DH's aunt yesterday and I mentioned the whole "needing to find a new guardian" thing and she said, "Oh thank god! I didn't know how I was going to bring that up to you!"
A few days ago, DH comes home and says, "Maybe I should have asked you about this first, but I think you're going to need more help than you think you will when the new baby gets here. So, I asked my sister to come visit for a week. I'm going to pay for her plane ticket." I just looked at him, dumbfounded. Then he asked what I thought. I said, "I can't remember the last time I actually had a conversation with your sister and you want us to be together for a week, basically just the 2 of us?" His only response was, "Well it'll just be her, so maybe it won't be so bad."
I'm still just dumbfounded! Why couldn't he offer this for my best friend? You know...someone who I wouldn't fear spending a week with.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I cannot believe DH did this (semi vent and long)
Wow I would not have been happy. Does he typically do things without consulting you? If not, maybe there's more to the story (SIL wants to come so his hands are tied?)
No...this is very unusual for him. He has been saying that he thinks I'm going to need more help though, so that part wasn't surprising. He even went through "I know your dad won't be able to stay more than a few days" and "I know you don't want your mom here." He took off 2 weeks from work, but the week he goes back he has been scheduled for 9 hearings, so that 2nd week he took off he'll still have to work some. And I don't think she would "want" to come. She doesn't like being here because she feels obligated to see her dad who she really doesn't have a good relationship with anymore. She also recently expressed to DH that she doesn't want kids (when I say recently, I mean since she started dating this guy).
Perfect excuses, I'd go with something like this.