Lack of discipline for kids...

RnMom2Be · July 2012

It seems to me like kids are completely out of control these days, and I wonder if the whole "positive discipline" or lack of discipline is to blame? Since when are kids the boss? We have a very spirited 3 YO son who needs definite consequences for negative actions....including time-outs, loss of privilages and the occassional swat on the butt. I allow DS to see that I am angry. DS is for the most part well-behaved due in part to consistant discipline. I have friends that constantly try to "reason" with their toddlers and preschoolers. Result?....kids that are nuts! In my house if you do the crime, you do the time and then we talk about it. Kids needs to have a little fear of adults.....this includes teachers...who are no longer able to discipline kids in their classrooms.....but that is a whole different can of worms!

babydawson · July 2012

My peeve is parents who defend their kid no matter what. I know that kids need to feel secure with their parents but when I taught preschool some of the parents would insist that their kid didn't do something. They would even get to the point of blaming one of the teachers. All this kid was learning was that they can do whatever they want and they won't have consequences. This just sets them up for disrespect in the future.

babyruth88 · July 2012

I know i cant believe it. I raised my niece that way. Was their daycare lady for a year. To this da she still has more respect for me then her mom. How sad is that. I dont u derstandthe raising kids to be your best friend thing.

MelissaMiso · July 2012

People seem to be either so worried that their kids won't like them and/or are doing lazy parenting. I am amazed at how many parents have brought their kids to me for therapy to work on behavior problems and expect them to be "fixed" by talking with me for one hour a week. And a majority of the parents are not following through with the changes I suggest that they do at home. They don't want to do the work and be consistent with their kids in order to garner change in their behavior.

Another reason: too many kids are coddled and given everything they ask for without working for it. Not keeping score in T-ball and everyone gets a trophy bc "we don't want kids to be sad about losing" is ridiculous. Come on! Teaching good sportsmanship, "you win some, you lose some" attitude, motivating them with competition is healthy and teaches good lessons about life. Kids given every possible technology/toy/etc. simply because they ask doesn't teach them to appreciate good hard work and actually EARNING what they have.

babyruth88 · July 2012

I know right... when i was growing up i did basic chores around the house,got good grades, etc and i got rewarded with my allowance and when i got good grades and made honor roll i got to go pick out a toy or to go get an ice cream at swensens lol. Now i see it everywhere kids get a toy at the store just to shut them up"literally heard a mom say that. I almost knocked her out. What i want to know is what happened to just spending time with your kids playing a game or homework. My sister always just tells my nephew to go play video games when he starts "bugging" her. I remember when i wanted attention from my mom thats wheni acted out hahaha oh well you said melissa its lazy parenting and makes me so sad. I honestly cant wait to teach ava how to write her name and play a good ole game of yahtzee or scrabble. Just makes me so sad.

Heather2256 · July 2012

I have a niece who is just completely spoiled rotten. She's 6 & if she cries for something she gets it. It started a few years ago when her parents were getting divorced & they just gave her whatever (to make up for it I guess? I dunno). Then it turned into giving in to what she wanted to get her to stop crying. And they wonder why she is the way she is.

It's sad really. But DH & I have seen so many ways & things not to do with our daughter.

babydawson · July 2012

I think people tend to overcompensate for what they wish they had. Some people who had really strict parents will be real loose with their kid's discipline because they don't want them to go through what they went through. I have seen the positive side of this where someone's dad wasn't around alot so he is making sure he is there for his kids.

RnMom2Be · July 2012

My DH's dad had to work two jobs....so he really tries to spend as much time with our kids as possible!!

bornmommy · July 2012

MelissaMiso:
People seem to be either so worried that their kids won't like them and/or are doing lazy parenting. I am amazed at how many parents have brought their kids to me for therapy to work on behavior problems and expect them to be "fixed" by talking with me for one hour a week. And a majority of the parents are not following through with the changes I suggest that they do at home. They don't want to do the work and be consistent with their kids in order to garner change in their behavior.
Another reason: too many kids are coddled and given everything they ask for without working for it. Not keeping score in T-ball and everyone gets a trophy bc "we don't want kids to be sad about losing" is ridiculous. Come on! Teaching good sportsmanship, "you win some, you lose some" attitude, motivating them with competition is healthy and teaches good lessons about life. Kids given every possible technology/toy/etc. simply because they ask doesn't teach them to appreciate good hard work and actually EARNING what they have.

Exactly. Well said!

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